ғɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐬

015. zoe

"What the hell is wrong with you."

Connor didn't even flinch at Larry's words. He stood at the base of the stairs, having just been ordered out of his room. Connor avoided his father's eyes.

"Did you hear me?" Larry hissed. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

Zoe observed the scene from the front door. She sighed, shaking her head. She set her bag and guitar case down at her feet. How lovely! Wouldn't you just adore coming home from Jazz Band to this?

This was their third fight this week. It was only Wednesday.

Cynthia gingerly placed a hand on Larry's shoulder.

"Larry, I-I don't think we should be this hard on him..." she whispered, but Zoe could hear it six feet away.

"Then what do you propose we do!" Larry shouted, finally breaking his staring contest with Connor. Exasperated, he threw his arms into the air. "Another camp, another—another yoga session?"

"I don't know! But screaming at him isn't helping him!" Cynthia cried.

"You want me to pretend like it's okay for him to steal? For him to drink?" Larry hissed. "He stole liquor from us, Cynthia! What the hell do you want me to say?"

A frown tugged at the corners of Zoe's lips. It was all she ever did at home—frown. Home sucked.

It wasn't always like this.

When Zoe was... what? In third grade? When Zoe was in third grade—she remembered it best at that age—there was this apple orchard. The Murphys had this... love for that place. Zoe couldn't explain it, but... It was like home.

They'd have their weekly picnics there.

Larry and Cynthia would sit close to each other, their hair not as grey and their eyes not as sad. They'd both give their children big hugs and watch fondly as the squealing kids chased each other on the grass.

Connor's hair was shorter, but it was still an untameable mop. He was missing a couple of teeth. His smile showed in his cheeks and eyes. Zoe loved her brother then. Although they were only a year apart, she looked up to him with stars in her eyes. In those moments, she belonged in his world and he belonged in hers.

But all good things never last.

Zoe glanced at Connor's face. He felt her gaze on him, and looked back towards his sister. For a split second, Zoe caught an expression she couldn't read—something that clouded over Connor's eyes, making him appear lost, hurt, angry... almost sad.

But that was impossible. Zoe knew that. Connor only felt anger. He was an emotionless monster. She kept on a hard face around him, but underneath it all, Zoe was terrified of him.

A couple years back, it was only the Murphy children in the house. Zoe didn't even remember what she did to set him off, but her brother's rage played vividly in her head.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" Connor screamed, his fist banging against the door. Once twice, again, again, again.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Zoe sobbed from the floor, her back against the door—the only barrier separating her bedroom from the hallway.

A huge thump knocked Zoe forwards. She quickly sat back up against the door. Connor had kicked her door. It was only a matter of time before he punched a hole into it.

"YOU'RE SUCH A FREAK!" Zoe shouted.

Connor only punched harder and harder.

"ZOE! ZOE!" Connor screamed.

Zoe continued to cry, her sobs drowning out Connor's words. Her memory was foggy at this point. She wasn't sure how long the torment lasted, but Connor's crescendo of screams slowly undid itself. His fists softened their blow until his punches were nothing but light taps.

"Zoe," Connor said quietly from the other side of the door.

It was then that Zoe decided she hated him.

Strangers—blissfully ignorant people—were always shocked.

"How could you hate your own brother?" they'd ask.

And Zoe would say, "If you were me, you'd know."

They'd just shake their head in disbelief. They didn't understand. So Zoe held her tongue.

The foreign expression Connor wore that Zoe couldn't recognize almost immediately changed. That strange look morphed into a nasty glare. Zoe's eyes shot down to the floor.

"Will you all just stop fucking talking about me like I'm not here?" Connor spat. His parents turned to him.

A beat.

Larry regained his stance. "Watch your mouth."

"Fucking do that yourself!" Connor snapped. "Why is—"

Larry interrupted Connor with his own sentence, but Connor continued his rant as his father spoke.

"Shut it, Connor—"

"—it that I can't be shown the smallest bit of human decency—"

Bzz. Bzz.

"What have you done to earn—"

"I'm not fucking asking for respect—"

Bzz. Bzz.

"You can't act out and expect things to go YOUR WAY—"

"MAYBE IF YOU ALL DIDN'T TREAT ME LIKE A FUCKING MISTAKE ALL THE FUCKING TIME—"

Bzz. Bzz.

"WILL YOU—WILL YOU SHUT THAT DAMN THING OFF?"

Zoe's eyes darted back up to the cellphone hanging loosely in Connor's hand. It wasn't unlocked, but Connor hadn't disabled the notifications from showing on his lock screen.

Evan.Hansen
Hi.
I don't mean to bother you, but I just wanna talk to someone.
Idk sorry you're probably busy.

Zoe furrowed her eyebrows. Someone was texting Connor?

Connor followed Zoe's line of gaze. He sloppily stuffed his phone into his pocket.

"STOP BEING A FUCKING BRAT!" Connor hissed, squinting his red, glazed eyes.

Zoe grabbed her belongings off the ground. "Fuck you!" she snarled, storming upstairs.

"Zoe—" Cynthia pleaded.

But Zoe slammed her bedroom door shut and collapsed onto her bed, hating the feeling of the hot, angry tears sliding down her face.

This family was a mess. And home sucked.

—

connor: this is how i enter my house

connor: what's UP fuckers

zoe: why do you have my phone

connor: fuck you that's why

yayayay i love zoe!!! i was excited to write a chapter in her pov & im glad i was able to incorporate it. happy palentines day everybody owu