ғɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐬

018. connor

leaves change every autumn
yet you hate me when i burn green to red
leaves die every winter
yet you turned away as i bled

Connor scratched his pencil furiously against the thick paper of his tattered notebook. The writing was barely legible to anyone else, but in a way, it sort of worked in Connor's favor. His work was concealed from prying eyes.

Leaning back against the big tree trunk behind him, Connor felt a sore pain in his neck. What the fuck? Why did his neck ache? His gaze dropped down towards the notebook sitting in the middle of his criss-crossed legs. Connor had a bad habit of hunching over his notebook to write. He sat up straight, deciding he needed better posture.

Craning his neck down again to look over his work, Connor frowned. This was shit. God, he needed a break. He pulled out his phone, quickly tapping into the Instagram app out of habit.

...No new notifications...

Connor didn't know what he expected. He had a following of 17 people.

Without thinking, he tapped into his DMs.

...Nothing. Evan hadn't texted him in a while. A week, actually. Connor felt something heavy swimming in his stomach. What was wrong with him?

Before he and Evan started messaging each other, nobody really reached out besides the occasional porn bot. And before that, nobody talked to him besides Miguel. Connor cringed at the thought of him. Well, not him—just the memories linked to him.

Miguel's message log sat cheekily, just a few rows below Evan's. His profile picture—a photo of his smiling face—was a siren luring Connor into the murky waters of their chat history.

Fuck, here we go. Connor was releasing all of the memories from last year out of the vault in the back of his head. He tapped into their chat history.

Sept 23, 2:42

its_miguel
hey
you still coming over right?

c.murphreak
yeah

its_miguel
lmk when you're here

c.murphreak
here

Sept 23, 6:37 PM

its_miguel
hey
can we talk

Sept 23, 7:04

its_miguel
I can see that you read it

c.murphreak
fuck
sorry

its_miguel
can we talk about the kiss?

c.murphreak
yeah

its_miguel
I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable
maybe I shouldn't have done that

c.murphreak
u didnt
i just
idk

its_miguel
are you okay?
I wouldn't have done it if I knew you didn't want to

c.murphreak
no
i wanted to

its_miguel
then why'd you go?

c.murphreak
i dont know
im just confused
fuck sorry 

its_miguel
huh? why

c.murphreak
youre better at this than me