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chapter twenty-two
Yanmei regained consciousness back in the human world a short while after her talk with Xuan Yige. the words from the spirit replayed in her head over and over again on a loop. she had been on the brink of death once again, and she somehow survived it, again. but what was the cost? she had learned over the years that everything had a cost.
she tried to move her left hand to wipe the beads of sweat off her forehead but stopped when she felt someone holding onto it. she looked down to see that Sokka was clutching her hand tightly as his head rested on the bed beside her. she thought he looked pretty while he slept.
the door then opened and the rest of her friends ran into the room.
"Yanny!" Katara exclaimed as she ran over to the girl and hugged her from the right side of the bed, "we were so worried about you..."
the movement of the bed and the loud voices woke up the sleepy water tribe boy. tears of joy formed in his eyes as he saw the raven haired girl alive and well. but then his face fell, and he was greeted with a pit of sadness in his chest.
"there's something you should know, Yanny..." he whispered, giving her hand a tight squeeze once again.
she turned towards her boyfriend and did the same for his hand. she felt her own tears wanting to spill as she gave him a sad smile, "I already know"
"...did you speak to Xuan Yige?" Aang asked, having a feeling as to that was how she knew what happened.
she simply nodded, finding it hard to speak. her strength was still weak from it being drained, so she couldn't sit up to see her friends, but she could tell that their faces didn't show ones of joy. truthfully she was glad for for immobility, she didn't want to see their sad faces.
she took a deep breath as her heart began to race. she didn't want to accept it, she couldn't. she may have hated the idea of being a mother at first, but since she reunited with her family she had started to look forward to this new life. the life of having a family. she wanted what Daria and Raider had before it was taken from them.
Katara bit her lip before she spoke softly, "she was gone the second I got to hold her..." she let out a cry as she lowered her head onto Yanmei's shoulder, "I'm so sorry Yanny! I couldn't do anything to save her!"
it was a girl... I would've had a daughter...
"the healer said there was nothing we could do to save you both... your baby... she was killing you... I-I didn't know what to do," Katara clutched tightly onto Yanmei's shirt as she sobbed, "you were in so much pain. I couldn't let you suffer"
the fingers on Yanmei's right hand ran across Katara's back in a comforting manner, though really she was the one who needed the comforting in this situation. but even now, she felt sorry for her friend.
"d-don't... blame yourself," Yanmei croaked out after trying to swallow the lump in her throat. she was trying so hard not to cry. she could taste the blood in her mouth from how hard she was biting her lip.
Katara sniffled and raised her head off of Yanmei's shoulder, "stop trying to make me feel better, you're the one we're worried around right now"
Yanmei put both her hands by her side and pushed herself up to sit up straight. finally being able to see everyone's faces, she smiled softly, "i'll be o-okay"
the faces of pity from her friends covered her vision. usually she would scold them for the looks, but right now she was actually grateful for it. it helped her remember that she wasn't alone, that she finally had people in her life that would care about her forever no matter what.
but even then, that short moment of happiness was gone the second she caught glance of what looked like a crib in the left corner of the room. the room she was in was one used for mother's to give birth, so of course there would be one in there, but the sight of it made her tremble.
"I want to be alone now," the words she spoke were so clear that it shocked everyone for a second. not even five seconds before she could barely speak.
Katara's eyes followed where hers were set and she quickly realized what caused Yanmei's sudden change. she grabbed Aang's hand beside her and began to lead the others out, "you heard the lady, let's go"
Sokka didn't want to leave her, but he knew that she needed this moment to be alone. so before leaving he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
Yanmei's eyes stayed focused on the corner of the room as her friends left, and it wasn't until the door closed that she blinked. the second she was alone, with only a lantern as a form of light, she carefully got out of the bed and slowly walked towards the crib.
she couldn't stop the tears running down her face when she saw the small lump under the blanket. her legs trembled, quickly giving out, and she clutched onto the bars as she leaned against the wooden crib.
never did Yanmei think that her world would actually crumble to pieces this quickly. for a long time she had thought that the day she was banished was the worst day of her life, and then it was the day she lost her family in Kerkaw, but this... this day certainly takes the cake. she had so many dreams of how much her life would change for the better once her daughter was born. she would live in Cranefish with Sokka, have their own apartment and become a family. her daughter would be able to meet her friends, and they would play with her all the time. she imagined what it would actually be like to be a mother, since she never got to meet her own. she wanted her child to live a better life. she didn't deserve to leave this world before she even had the chance to see it.
Yanmei had seen only a couple of stillbirths when accompanying Ursa to child births. she saw the sorrow in the mother's eyes, she heard their cries of absolute despair, and she never realized that how painful it really was until now.
"I-" once again, the actions speaking words felt as if her throat was made of sandpaper, "I'm so sorry, little one"
the child didn't deserve this fate. she was the product of a fucked up relationship that was masked as love. for the father, none of it was real. and now he was dead. all of them were dead.
Yanmei's fists clenched tighter, and a screaming cry rang throughout the room.
