Babies of Mr. Stranger

Chapter 27

Real mothers don't just listen with humble embarrassment to the elderly lady who offers unsolicited advice in the checkout line when a child is throwing a tantrum. We take the child, dump him in the lady's cart, and say, "Great. Maybe you can do a better job."  Real mothers admit it is easier to fail at this job than to succeed.

I had thought in those years, I suppose, having learned the lesson from my mother well, that it was foolish to ask for too much out of life, afterwards only to live in the wake of that expectation.

An irreducible disappointment. But what pain, I thought now, could be greater than to realize that even the practical reality for which you had assumed to settle upon, did not hold – that even that was illusory? Would it not be better, then, to set your sights on some more fantastic and rare dream from which even in failing you might take some comfort in having once aspired.

"Mommy, we're here na po. " sigaw ng anak ko kaya kaagad kong naapakan ang preno ng sasakyan

"O-ohh.. I'm sorry, pasok na kayo anak. Susunduin ko kayo ulit mamayang tanghali. " i said

Tumango sila bago sila lumabas ay humalik sila pareho sa pisngi ko.

"Keep safe, Mom. "Dylan

"You too, sweetie. Bantayan mo kakambal mo ,enjoy. " i said

Nang tuluyan na silang nakalabas ng sasakyan i opened the window of my car and wave them goodbye. They wave back.

Nang makitang tuluyan na silang nakapasok ay pinaandar ko na ulit 'yon at nagtungo ng Tea Shop. Ngayong hindi na ako buntis at walang pumipigil sa'kin malaya na akong gawin ang dapat kong gawin.

Babalik ako sa pagtatrabaho sa Tea Shop para naman kahit papaano ay may gagawin ako maliban sa pagbabantay sa bunso kong anak.

Si Rosyana ang nagbabantay do'n. Hindi ko alam kung anong magic ang meron kay Rosyana at isang dikit lang ng balat ng mga anak ko sa kaniya ay napapaamo niya.

Sa nangyari naman kahapon ay hindi ko pa rin maiwasang hindi masaktan. Hindi para sa sarili ko kundi para sa mga anak ko.

I know they are smiling but i felt that deep inside they are broken. Ayaw lang nilang nakikita ko silang nasasaktan kasi alam nilang malulungkot ako.

It's not easy to smile when i'm with them especially sa nangyari na ikakasakit ng damdamin namin.

Yesterday that night i talked them and told that they don't need to be mad to their father but i understand the decisions of Dylan and Gillian.

Mahirap din na ipilit ko sa kanila na 'wag ng magalit sa ama nila kasi mismong ako nasaktan sa ginawa ni Dielan. That time, i know nagsisisi siya. Pero para saan? I mean, why? Nagsisisi ba siyang niloko kami?

Don't be, because cheating is a choice. Kung nasaktan ko siya hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay lokohin kami, gaguhin kami,lalong lalo na ang paasahin kami. i know i do have a lot of sins to him pero hindi sapat na ipagpalit ako lalo na't may kami pa

Oh god! Nakalimutan ko, may kami nga ba? bago siya umalis may kami pa nga ba?

I shook my head. Huminga ako ng malalim at tinigil ang sasakyan sa harap ng Tea Shop.

I took a deep breath. New day,New Life. One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change. It's not easy to let go, by the way. But this is the best way to not feel the pain again.

Dahan dahanin kong kakalimutan ang lahat ng masasakit. Meron naman ang mga anak ko, eh. Sila ang lakas ko.

Pagkapasok ng Tea Shop bumungad kaagad sa'kin si Cloud na halos abot tenga na ang ngiti.