The Start of You and I: FRESHMAN YEAR

CHAPTER 10: PANIC

I grabbed my phone and car keys and went for a drive. I wasn't sure where I was going but I had to go somewhere. I had my windows down and played music so I could drown out my thoughts. I wound up somewhere close to Max's house but far enough away to be close to school. It was just woods, not thick enough to be a forest, or thin enough to be just trees. I parked my car on the side of the road and walked around. And something in me just said call him. Talk to him, he'll understand and know how to fix it.

Max: Hello?

Ace: Hey

MAx: Are you okay?

Ace: I don't know

Max: What's wrong?

Ace: Bubba, I'm kind of lost literally and metaphorically

Max: Share your location with me I'll find you

Ace: Okay

I shared my location with him

Max: Talk to me

Ace: I'm scared

Max: Of what?

Ace: Everything, my mom really liked you and she even made a joke about us being together. But she doesn't know or at least I don't think she does. But if she does we're in so much trouble. And there's no way out of it.

Max: Lovebug calm down

Ace: How can I be calm? How are you so calm? I-I can't... I don't want to lose you, but I don't even know if I actually have you. And even if I do, there's so much we don't know. And it's starting to get cold out here. And I walked away from my car, to breathe, and it's starting to feel like I can't even do that properly.

I felt like I was going to hyperventilate.

Max: Lovebug, I need you to breathe for me.

Ace: I can't

My breaths are getting more shallow

Max: If you care about me, just take one deep breathe

He knows I care about him

I took a deep breathe

Max: That's my girl, I'm almost there, just keep breathing for me.

His voice is so soothing.

Max: I've got you, you've got me as long as you want me.

I felt myself start crying and I never wanted him to hear or see me cry. Of all people, he was the one person I wanted to be proud of me. I sat with my back against a tree and closed my eyes. I was trying to calm down, but I only made things worse. All the thoughts from Charlie to losing Max. I couldn't handle it . Then I couldn't hear Max anymore, the call had ended.

Max: Lovebug

Ace: Bubba?

He sat in beside me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

Max: I brought you a jacket

I kissed his cheek as words were just too hard in that moment

Max: Can you do something for me?

He put his hand on my face and wiped my tears. I opened my mouth to speak but the words just wouldn't form.

Max: give me your hand

I placed my hand in his. He flipped it so my palm was facing upwards.

Max: I'm going to write a sentence letter by letter in your hand. I'll kiss your cheek at the end of each word.

I shook my head. I watched his finger concentrating on every letter.

I - C - A - R - E -A - B - O - U - T - Y - O - U ... I care about you. He cares about me?

The feeling of his lips against my cheek, it sparked something in me, fear, passion, lust.

Ace: Bubba I care about you too

Max: So talk to me

Ace: Bubba my mom is a lawyer, if she knew what Charlie did he'd be serving twenty-five to life. So what do you think would happen if she actually found out about you, about us?

Max: So she won't

Ace: Bubba she can read me like a book, a picture book for that matter. I can't hide things from her

Max: You hid Charlie

Ace: I didn't have the heart to tell her.

Max: Please don't tell me you feel guilty

Ace: How can I not, I put myself in a situation to be hurt. I knew it wasn't going to last but he made me feel so important I didn't care.

Max: Do I make you feel the same way

If I were a mouse i'd be caught in a trap. For one of two reason: One, I wasn't paying attention or  Two, I stopped caring about the consequences because I got selfish and the prize was too good to let pass by.

Ace: Max...

Max: Answer the question

Ace: Yes, and that's what scares me. You make me feel so special, in every way. Even when you said I was the perfect height I got butterflies. I don't get flustered around people. I don't talk to people for that matter. But you, all I want to do is talk to you.

Max: I'm sorry, for everything Charlie has done to you, but please don't compare me to that rat

I huffed and stood up, looking away from him.

Max: What was that for?

Ace: You're practically perfect aren't you

Max: If I'm practically perfect what does that make you?

Ace: Everything you're not.

Max: Ace you're perfect

Ace: stop saying things you don't mean

I heard him get up

Ace: Stop telling me things I want to hear. Stop being so- so

He turned me around

Max: Perfect?

He took the words right out of my mouth he ghosted my lips

Ace: Perfect

My words came out just above a whisper

Max: I'm only perfect for you Lovebug. And I might be wrong, but I think you're perfect for me.

The fact that he looked down on me, and not in a power complex way, but in a caring way. I didn't know how to handle that affection.

Max: So that leads me to the question of will you be my girlfriend?

Ace: Max...

How long before he doesn't want me anymore? How long before I'm not perfect?

Max: Please say yes

He brushed his lips against mine.

Ace: If I say yes, will you stop teasing me?

Max: I guess you'll have to find out

Ace: Yes

He pulled me towards him and kissed me. He put one hand on my face and the other on my waist.