youngblood | a.i.

twenty four || the little things

Saturday, October 10th- 10:09 p.m.

It was only when I started to shiver that Ashton decided to tell me where the ladder out of the water was. I swam over, pulling myself up and out, running to the house for warmth. Ashton collected up all our clothes outside, picking up his phone as he went. I noticed how as he walked back inside, he was smiling down at it.

"What are you looking at?" I asked as I shivered, waiting for him to close the door behind us.

"Nothing," he said looking up at me. He finally saw how cold I was, setting down his phone to help. "You can shower to warm up." He pointed me in the direction of the bathroom, moving over to his bag on the couch to dig stuff out. "Give me a second."

I stood frozen in the doorway to the bathroom, turning on the hot water as I waited. He finally walked over, only having shampoo bottles in his hands. "I only have my shampoo with me but you can use it. I don't care," he said setting the bottles in the shower. "I'll have to dig out clothes for you though."

I nodded, looking at the bottles he had set inside. "Okay, bring them in a minute. My toes are gonna turn purple," I told him as I pushed him out of the room, closing the door behind him. I pulled off the wet clothes I did have on, and got in. I showered in burning hot water, trying to warm up my internal body temperature that had fallen. The silence of being alone for a minute allowed my mind to wander again, and it fell upon no one else but Ashton Irwin.

I hated how many reasons he was giving me to trust him, and I hated how much I wanted to believe them. They were simple actions but the longer I spent around him, the more of them he gave me. The longer I was with him, the more like me I realized he was. 

He was actually kind deep down somewhere in that devilish soul of his, but he still had this facade about him that I wasn't sure I'd ever break through. When his eyes glazed over, he always switched back to that facade. It was like I was talking to the Ashton who left me that night, not the Ashton who saved me the next time around. But knowing that both those sides were stuck in the same person made it so impossible to decide if I should trust him or not. Every time I thought about maybe letting him in, I remembered all the unforgivable things he had done to me and how everyone else I had let in always hurt me, so I always fell back to pushing him away.

"Auni?" I heard his voice.

His voice pulled my mind from my trance as I washed the shampoo out of my hair. I saw the shadow of the door crack open through the curtain, making me turn towards it. "Yeah?" I called back, waiting for him to reply.

The door opened farther and I could see the shadow of his body through the curtain as he entered. "I brought you a towel but I'm gonna go dry your clothes so you have something."

"Okay," I agreed, opening the conditioner bottle to pour it into my hand. I ran my fingers through my hair, staying under the water to keep warm. "Don't shrink them. I can't imagine you genuinely understand laundry."

"You have no faith in me," he replied back. "I'm going to shrink them on purpose, just for that comment." I watched as he leaned down and collected my clothes off the floor, walking back out and shutting the door behind him.

When I said about the small things he does that make me want to trust him, this was one. He knew the only clothes I had were the ones I swam in, so instead of letting me be uncomfortable without them or putting back on wet ones, he was drying them so I had something.

It was stupid things like that that I hated about him. No one else does that for me- why did he have to be the one that did? There is so much more to him than anyone else knows, and it drove me insane that I didn't know either. He always felt like an open book- he was simply a dickhead who slept with a new girl every weekend, yet here he was bringing me- the girl who hates everything about him- to his family cabin and drying the clothes he threw me into the lake in. What happened to the Ashton who left me in a room with Andrew? What happened between then and now?

I didn't know the answer to that question, and frankly, I wasn't sure I wanted to. I spent almost 20 minutes just standing under the warm water to warm up, but eventually, I did finish showering and pulled myself out of the warm water, reaching for the towel on the counter. I dried myself off, wrapping it around my body as I decided what to do since my clothes were still gone.

I opened the door a crack, looking around the cabin. Ashton was nowhere in sight, meaning my clothes were nowhere to be found either. "Ashton?" I called as I started walking out into the main area, holding my towel tighter around myself.

"Yeah?" he called back. I turned towards the noise, seeing as he started walking out of the bedroom, looking down at his phone.

"You never brought me my clothes," I told him, an annoyed tone lacing my voice.

"Well, I still heard the water-" he started as he finished whatever he was doing on his phone. He finally looked up at me, seeing as I stood in the middle of the room with my towel held up by my hand, my wet hair freezing my back once more. "The, uh... You shut off the water and I didn't want to come in after that," he explained as he looked away, turning to look into the bedroom. "They're in here, though, on the bed."

I thought it was funny I had Ashton Irwin- who'd seen more girls naked than anyone else- tripping over his words a bit. I rolled my eyes at him, walking past him through the door. He stepped out of the way as I walked past, following me into the room to grab the other pile of clothes on the bed.

"Yours are over there," he pointed to the other side of the bed. My stuff was thrown in a pile, a pair of sweats that weren't mine thrown on top.

"What happened to 'don't ask me for clothes when you get cold?'" I asked him as I bit the inside of my cheek to stop my smile.

"Oh, fuck off," he laughed as he started out the door. "Freeze then."

I laughed as I pushed the door shut behind him, listening to it latch as his laughs became muffled. "Go shower. You smell like lake," I called after him, locking the door behind myself.

I laughed lightly as I heard his footsteps grow quieter, insinuating he got farther away. I walked over towards the pile of clothes, picking up my sweatshirt he had dried for me. It was still warm, making me smile to myself as I pulled it on. I grabbed the panties that were no longer wet and threw them on too, grabbing his sweats after.

I set the spandex and bralette off to the side for the next morning, just wanting to go to sleep now that I was warm. I moved back to the door, unlocking the knob before wandering back to the edge of the bed. I pushed the covers back, slipping under them and grabbing my phone that sat under my pile of clothes.

Curled up under the blankets, I scrolled through my notifications. Nothing much was on there but I had a Snapchat from Calum. It was a photo of him with wide eyes, the writing above reading 'you're with ashton rn?'. I rolled my eyes, tapping to take a photo of myself mocking his expression, typing 'yeah. coach kinda made it so i had to be' back. I clicked send, switching over to Luke's contact, knowing that was the only way Calum found out. I took a photo, typing 'what happened to a 'hem's secret'?' and clicking send. I quickly texted my mom that I wouldn't be coming home, rolling over to face the wall.

I continued trying to scroll through random things but my eyes slowly became heavier and heavier until I finally just set my phone down. I pulled the blankets closer up to my face, completely cocooning myself under the comforter for warmth.

I didn't hear when the water shut off and Ashton came back in since I'd pretty well fallen asleep. But when I felt myself grow warmer subconsciously, I knew Ashton had snuck in beside me. But rather than cocooning himself with the blankets like I had, he wrapped himself around me, just like the last morning I'd woken up beside him.