youngblood | a.i.

fifty five || the truth always unravels

Friday, November 6th- 5:40 p.m.

As the last practice of the week finally rounded out, I was so ready to just go home and pass out- actually this time. I'd mostly been avoiding Ashton as much as I could since earlier this week. With his ankle still messed up, he sat on the bench for practice. Something about team spirit?

But other than that, I never really ran into him. He'd been periodically texting me throughout the week, trying to figure out where I was mentally about Tuesday, but I didn't truly have an answer.

Having my distance gave me more time to process it fully but it didn't stop the fight between my trust issues and my body's cravings. So much of my brain was telling me no, but the rest of my body was saying yes. I didn't respond to anything he had asked about Tuesday because I still didn't truly know what to say.

I was slowly working towards accepting it and realizing I had to trust him a lot to have done that, but there was still a huge part of my brain telling me it wasn't safe.

So I just ignored it all. I figured whatever was supposed to happen would, right?

Luke drove me home when practice ended like every other day, Ashton texting me after he had made it home too. I think at this point he was just trying to talk to me in any way he could in hopes eventually we would fall back to normal.

ashton

are you coming tonight?

to what..?

the team thing at my house?

haven't we learned yet that something bad always

happens when i go to one of your parties?

yeah, but only when you walk away from me.

i'm not dealing with it tonight. i don't

have the mental energy to do it.

okay.

why are you having another party anyways?

i needed a good excuse to drink.

but you haven't drank in

a month...

yeah, but now i want to stop the thoughts again.

"Who are you texting?" Luke broke the silence filling the car.

I looked over to him, locking my phone, not knowing what to say back anyways.

"Uh, Ashton wanted to know if I was coming tonight or not," I admitted honestly, leaning back in the passenger seat as we got closer to home.

"Are you?" Luke asked.

"No," I laughed back, curious as to why he'd even think I would.

"Oh, I thought you would be," Luke shrugged, focusing back on the road.

"Why?" I asked confused. "Haven't we learned by now that nothing good happens to me at parties?"

"I don't know," he shrugged again. "You just seemed like you were getting better so I figured you and Ash worked it out."

"It's a lot more than just 'working it out'," I laughed, turning back to distract myself on my phone, not wanting to deal with this conversation anymore.