youngblood | a.i.

seventy two || one of the five senses

Wednesday, November 11th- 11:04 p.m.

The peace I felt just being able to lay in his arms again was indescribable.

Yeah...we weren't back to how we used to be- we never would be- but his touch at least comforted me again.

The way he ran his hand through my hair. The way his chest rose and fell below my head. The way his bare skin warmed beneath me. The way his fingers drew patterns across my back beneath his shirt. The way his entire body held me close- they all comforted me again.

I missed just laying with him like this. We used to spend every waking moment together before I spent all that time trying to push him away. It felt like we were slowly falling back to us like I was relearning to trust him again.

What he'd done to me was unforgivable, and I honestly think had I not physically watched him beg Luke that one morning or had he lied to me about a single other thing throughout this all, I would have never even considered forgiving him.

But seeing him in just as much pain as me hurt worse than my own pain did. Yeah, in a way he deserved it, but after all his explanations, he didn't deserve it all. He'd been trying to undo it since it started, but no one would let him. He'd been planning to tell me, but Andrew continued to ruin his chance to explain. He said he used it as an excuse to be allowed near me, not to hurt me- and I believe him.

After he picked me up off my bedroom floor, barely conscious, I knew he'd never wanted to hurt me. He could have left me to die on that floor, but he didn't. He did love me, even if he did hurt me.

He wanted to protect me the whole time. He just didn't know he was the danger he needed to protect me from.

"You okay, Angel?"

I lifted my head from his chest, resting my chin against him as I looked up to the sound. I nodded against his chest, turning back to look towards the TV playing an episode of Criminal Minds- just like it always did when we laid on this couch.

"You sure?" he continued to ask. "You seem off."

"I'm fine," I explained, feeling as his hand moved up to my chin to turn me to look at him. "I was just thinking."

"About?" he asked, shifting to move me as well.

"Us," I explained, moving so I sat straddling his lap like he was moving me to. His hand fell from my chin as I faced him, moving down to my bare thighs to rub patterns across them.

"Do I want to know?" he asked sarcastically, a small smile on his face.

I laughed lightly. "Probably not," I told him, shaking my head as my glance fell to his chest. My index finger began drawing the same pattern he was on my leg against his chest. "It was just stuff we've moved past."

"I'll still listen if you're not ready to move past it all yet," he reassured me, starting to catch on to what I was doing.

I nodded as I focused on how his finger had moved against my skin. This time he stopped and looked to me after he drew the first symbol. I looked up to him with a stupid smile as I realized he was waiting for me to copy it.

When he realized I hadn't got it, he started again, slower this time. I laughed as I followed along, drawing the same straight line he had with two parallel lines perpendicular to the first. I.

I waited for the next one, focusing as he drew against me. I copied the same pattern, drawing the two loops that pulled to a straight point at the bottom. A heart.