13 Novella 6

Precious

You sit with Yaz alone that evening, both your legs dangling out The Tardis doors, silently taking in the Galaxy.

"It's weird... I was so scared for such a long time. The Doctor, she showed me so many terrifying things, but I never knew fear until I found out I was pregnant. He changed my life, he impacted us in such a huge way in such a small amount of time."

She leans against the doorframe as you keep your silence, just letting her talk.

"I love him so much, and I know that theoretically we could just go and see him tommrow, but he won't be the same Gail. He'll have changed, for the better or worse. And I won't even know."

You bow your head and kick your feet slightly.

"I'm going to miss him" she says, and you see in her mind his face so clearly. She'd been memorising his features all afternoon, absorbing as much of him as possible.

"The Doctor thinks I blame her. I don't. I chose this life, and it managed to beat us just this once. But that's ok, I'll take my wins."

You reach out a hand and rest in on hers as she talks.

"Yaz, love?" Comes a voice from behind you and you both turn to see The Doctor stood with Gail in her arms. She looks so... hurt.

"It's time" She whispers as Yaz gets clumsily to her feet, shaking. Missy and Jenny enter and both place a kiss on his forehead before stepping back.

"What are you going to use?" Asks Jenny croakily. You realise she is crying.

"One of my rings. It's small enough that he won't think too much of it, just a souvenir of his past" replies The Doctor, pulling a black promise ring out of her pocket.

She holds it tight in her fist as Gail whimpers and she squeezes him close, bringing his little creased forehead to her lips for a long moment before passing him to Yaz. She takes him and sniffs, blinking back tears as she whispers comforts to him. You catch only the first parts, the latter becoming incoherent as she sobs quietly.

"... and we'll see you again, but if you're feeling lonely, you look to the sky and your mummies will be there, watching over you. Always..." she says.

She passes him to Missy who smiles genuinely at him.

"Don't worry, there's still time to teach you to how to make explosives"

Jenny next, "you're such a darling, I hope you have a good life"

He is placed in your arms and you look at his brown eyes. Exactly like one of his mothers'.

You can't speak, too afraid you'll start crying. Instead you give him an image to hold onto for the next five minutes before it is all erased and he becomes just another human baby. It is the picture from the picnic just days ago, all of you content and happy, the day he learned to crawl. It was perfect. If only you could have known then... perhaps you would have appreciated it more.

"Bye Gail" you say, placing him back in The Doctor's waiting arms. She takes him and holds him close, glancing up at the doors. You'd landed earlier outside a home, and The Doctor had filled in paperwork from someone important to make sure he was given the very best home one could hope for. It still didn't seem like enough.

"Now?" Says Jenny but the blonde shakes her head.

"No, he can't have any memories of The Tardis. Nothing at all. I'll take him just outside, then conceal his identity in the ring. It... it shouldn't take long" she swallows, looking around once more at you all. Yaz squeezes both their hands then slumps on the floor, Jenny resting a hand around her shoulders while she cries as quietly as she can.

"Listen, I can do this, you don't have to..." starts Missy but The Doctor shakes her head.

"Thank you Missy, but it's got to be me"

She looks back at Yaz with a broken expression before stepping out the Tardis doors. There is ten minutes of silence then she returns empty handed, looking lost and confused, like she wasn't entirely sure what had just happened.

"Doctor, I am so sorry" you whisper and she swallows, nodding and gripping the controls. Jenny pulls her down and all three sit against each other, tears sliding down their cheeks like wading rivers. Missy gets to the controls and takes off, unsure they could handle it any longer. She leaves the ship hovering in space before she approaches you. You hiccough and she opens her arms that you don't hesitate to run into.

"I love you"

"I love you too" you reply.

"No you don't get it. I love you. I love you so much it physically hurts when I'm away. I need you nearby, and it kills me to see you in any sort of pain"

You blink in surprise at her words.

"Oh Missy. Whatever happened to my unbreakable bad girl?"

"I don't know, tell me what you did to her and maybe I could explain" she says with a weak smile.

Jenny leaves the others and joins you where you take her hand and she pulls you into a soft hug.

"I love you (Y/n). Don't you ever forget that. It may not be conventional, it may be irrational, and strange and different, but it is also special and unique and utterly ours" she says as you glance into her glittering green eyes. You look back at Missy's brown pair and smile.

You turn finally to Yaz and The Doctor who are still holding each other wordlessly. Their love was loud as ever. They had made it through.

"For all the things I've seen, I've done, I've said and ruined and broken, nothing is ever as beautiful as either of you two. I'm not about to let that go anytime soon" you say, walking with them either side to the doors. They open one each and you stare at a Galaxy you've never seen before.

"It doesn't end here" you whisper into the void, a space breeze blowing across your faces, Yaz and The Doctor joining you behind and looking also.

"It's just the beginning of something new" finishes The Doctor as you stand together, and together you will stand.