13 Novella 6

Deal

TW: self harm mentions and stitches

The first thing you see when you wake is a blonde head resting on the side of your bed.

The Doctor sleeps deeply, face squashed against her hand, the other dangling to the floor. Her lilac coat is draped around her and her breathing is slow and rhythmic.

Though you've undoubtedly seen her unconscious before, this may the first time you've seen her properly asleep. She sniffles and scronches, and you can't help but smile. She looks so much younger. Perhaps because she isn't fixated on the constant stress you put her through.

You sigh then rise and shuffle quietly off the bed, sure of your mission. You needed to find Jenny before she left, and you needed to do it soon. You sway as you stand, a headrush hindering your equilibrium before you set off down the medbay and through the doors.

You start at the console room but she isn't there. Checking the library and both of your bedrooms, she is still no where to be found. Worried she may have already left, you lean tiredly against the wall as the room spins slightly.

"Cut it out" you mutter to yourself, lightly slapping your face to remain focused. The Tardis gives you an image wrought with curiosity. "I'm looking for Jenny, please I need to tell her how I feel before she leaves" you beg desperately.

The Tardis thrums and gives you an image of a room you've seen only a couple of times before, and both memories are terrifying. Shaking off your worry, you make your way into the suddenly closer than before pool room. Just like last time, the light reflections make pretty patterns on the ceiling, and that's when you see her, just floating on her back and breathing, staring directly upwards.

Feeling really weak now, you slide your back down the blue tiled wall and wait for her to spot you. She sinks for a minute and emerges right at the edge in an impossibly fast movement, where she hoists herself out and patters over to you while wrapping a fluffy towel around herself. She sits beside you as you lean your head back and breath deeply through your mouth.

"I thought The Doctor was supposed to be keeping an eye on you so you didn't do exactly this?" She starts with a small smile, but you haven't got time for small talk.

"Jenny you need to listen to me" you whisper and she seems concerned by the weakness of your voice. "What I did, what I said, those very words made me sick to my stomach to even think, but I needed you back. I was willing to risk losing everything, if it meant there was the slightest chance I could have you back. So please, please don't leave me. I couldn't bear it."

"My love... I wasn't leaving because of you, I was leaving because your words were true. I'm never going to be enough." This evokes a slightly hysterical laugh from yourself.

"You're not enough? Are you the one who would selfishly kill herself the second you lost one of your loves? Are you the one who puts her friends though torture, and grief, and still let her sister die? Who allows herself to be manipulated, who carves her own skin when the world gets too much for her? Well? Are you?" You hiss manically and she blinks, concern riddling her face.

"I love you (Y/n)" she says and you smile faintly.

"I love you too, and don't you ever doubt that. Please stay. I understand if I'm not good enough-" you start but she cuts you off.

"You'll always be the better of us two. Sorry three" she giggles and you smile, really fading from the energy to searching. "Sweetheart should you be out? Did The Doctor stitch your arm yet?"

Looking down you can see the blood seeping though. Huh. That explains the dizziness.

"Guess not" you say simply, before falling onto her shoulder and passing over into darkness once more.

                            *        *         *

You are aware of the presence of many as shapes begin to form behind your eyes.

"What do you mean you fell asleep?" Sighs Missy tiredly and The Doctor bristles.

"Well, believe it or not, I didn't do it deliberately"

"How did she get so far?" Says Jenny worriedly as people rearrange themselves around you.

"The girl is ridiculously stubborn" replies Missy and The Doctor shrugs and nods in agreement.

They are quiet for a while as you feel gentle tugging and pulling at your arm, but no pain.

"What did she say?" Asks The Doctor, breaking the silence. You think she is the one stitching you up.

"We just talked..."

"And?" Prompts Missy.

"If it's ok with you lot, I think I'll stay"

"Always my love"

"Just when I thought I was getting rid of 50% of the dumb duo"

"Be nice" you mutter with your eyes closed and Missy chuckles.

"Seriously love, you've got to stop trying to give me double heart attacks" smiles Missy and you respond groggily.

"Also stop slicing your arm when you get overwhelmed would be nice, I thought we had a deal" mutters The Doctor darkly.

"Didn't ask you to fix it" you sulk and she sighs.

"But we're always going to, so I'd stop if I were you"

"Love please, you need to find healthier coping mechanisms" says Missy, and you blush at her suggestion from her mind.

"Yeah that works" you say, finally opening your eyes. They are sat around your bed, all relaxed and smiling.

"My arm my choice" you mutter while you adjust and Jenny moves your hair from your forehead.

"Don't make us kick you out the band" she says semi-seriously and you snort.

"Wouldn't dream of it, then it would be just you and Missy, now that I'd pay to see"

Even The Doctor smirks at their horrified expressions.

"Then again, we could just agree to love each other and not keep trying to leave-" you look at a Jenny "or blame yourself for things beyond your control" you look at Missy next who continues for you.

"Or trying to take yourself away from us"

She leans down and kisses you lightly on the lips before leaning away as Jenny places a kiss on your forehead.

"Deal" says Jenny.

"Deal" says Missy.

"Deal" you mutter, then smile.