Surviving - Rewritten

Chapter Nineteen - Camisado

Rebecca Taylor

Becky made her way to her bedroom and slammed the door. Everyone had gone out now, so she was home alone, which was both good and bad. Good, because it meant that Becky could hide from the world and bad, because there was nobody there to stop her from doing what she was planning.

Becky sighed as her phone rang, and she reluctantly answered it when she saw it was Ellie.

"What's wrong?" She asked as it was unlike Ellie to ring her.

"I just got a phone call that you weren't in school, apparently they couldn't get through to dad. Are you okay?"

"Yes I'm fine, I just felt a bit sick" Becky lied.

"I though something was wrong, you were asleep last night at dinner. Do you want me to come home from uni? I've not really got any important lectures today"

"No!" Becky replied quickly "I, um don't want to pass anything on and its not that big of a deal"

Ellie sighed "why do I feel like you're lying?"

Becky sighed "I'm not Ellie, honestly"

"I still don't believe you; I can tell when you're lying Becks. I've known you your whole life. Just know that if you need me, I'm just a phone call away. I love you"

"You too" Becky muttered and hung up. If Ellie cared so much than why didn't she come home if she knew she was lying? Clearly, she had more important things to do.

Becky sighed and laid down. A part of her just wanted everything to end, but Becky was not suicidal, and she knew that it was a bad idea. She didn't want to die, she just wanted to forget things for a while. Deciding not to do anything stupid, Becky had a nap and didn't wake up until about three o'clock, when school would be almost finished.

No one was home yet, which was odd. Becky however, still felt numb and depressed so with that in mind, Becky went downstairs and looked in the cupboard where her dad kept alcohol. She found an unopened bottle of vodka and took it back upstairs with her.

As she continued drinking it Becky felt disorientated and a bit dizzy. She had drunk before, but never after not eating anything at all for a couple days. She had barely even drunk any water or anything really. She just felt like everything took so much effort now.

Becky looked at the draws underneath her bed and quickly found the razor. She didn't want to die, she just wanted to punish herself. She was angry at herself and everyone around her.

Her family were always busy now, it was probably her fault that Lucinda died, and she had no friends anymore. Her mum hated her and a part of her thought that her dad and sister hated her too because she drove her mum away. Everything was Becky's fault really.

Becky looked down at her arms and was instantly sick, although it was just water that came out due to barely eating anything. It was disgusting really, but mostly she was just gagging because there was nothing to actually throw up.

After calming down, Becky stared at her arms again in utter shock. She had done way more damage than she had meant to, but the alcohol buzzing through her system made her feel numb. With a sigh, she glanced at the half empty bottle of vodka and shrugged, before having another drink.

Half an hour later, everything around her felt distorted, her head felt like someone had hit it with a sledgehammer and the room was spinning. Eventually, Becky just closed her eyes and succumbed into darkness, ignoring the faint shouting in the background.