Surviving - Rewritten

Chapter Twenty Three - Give Me Love

Cassandra Blake

Everything was falling into place, yet somehow it also wasn't.

Cassie was living in a safe environment, she had friends again, Becky was better, and Cassie was actually thinking positively about her future.

Yet, she still woke up crying from terrifying nightmares, and Blaise told her that sometimes she screamed in her sleep. Blaise had woken her up a few times because of it. Cassie wanted to think that she could move on with her life, now that she was away from Liam but it all still haunted her, and she doubted she would ever be able to get past it.

Becky was out of hospital and she had been for a couple of weeks, but they had hardly seen each other because she was spending the majority of time with Stefan or her family. Which was understandable but Cassie couldn't help but feel lonely.

She was surrounded by people at the care home, but they were always busy, and Cassie still felt like she was an outsider anyway.

With all the thoughts about her dad going round in her mind, Cassie had decided that she was going to go visit him in jail. He had been charged with not just abuse but also fraud and drug possession, so he would be away for a very long time.

Cassie hadn't asked much about Liam as just saying his name caused her to panic. She hoped that seeing him and facing her fears would help her move on and find some closure.

With that in mind, the taxi Cassie was in with Carly finally stopped outside a big building with security gates and fencing.

"Are you sure that you want to do this? You don't have to see him" Carly reassured.

Cassie nodded "I just want to talk to him for a bit"

Carly sighed and muttered a small "okay". She didn't seem very fond of the idea, and she had insisted on going with Cassie. She said that she would wait outside whilst they talked but she would be there if Cassie needed her.

Cassie felt her heart pounding as they walked into the building and were led into a room by a guard. Liam looked up at her and suddenly she felt herself freeze.

Liam smirked, the evil glint still in his eye. Cassie couldn't understand how he still looked so evil. She had hoped that without the influence of alcohol and drugs he would be a nice guy. That maybe he would even apologise to her. Cassie sighed as she realised that it had been wishful thinking.

Cassie sat down at the opposite end of the table as Carly left the room. Cassie tried to take deep breathes again as she got ready to talk.

"What the fuck are you doing here then? Missed me too much?" Liam laughed.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that I wasn't yours?" Cassie asked, finally mustering up the courage.

Liam shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't think it was important and I don't really like talking to you for long periods of time"

"Why did you hit me? What did I ever do to you?" Cassie asked, her voice raising.

"You took your mother away from me and you were fucking annoying. You deserved it" Liam snapped, glaring at her. Cassie noticed that his fists were clenched, and Cassie had to remind herself that he couldn't move. He was handcuffed and there was a guard there ready to protect her.

"It was not my fault that the car crashed"

"Yes it is!" Liam screeched standing up.

Cassie tried to take deep breathes as the man that had pretty much towered over her again. Cassie stood up and looked him in the eye. "You don't scare me anymore" she said calmly before leaving the room.

Liam still haunted her nightmares and there would always be the lingering fear that he would get her, but Cassie also knew that him and his friends were behind bars and thanks to the fraud and drugs as well as the abuse they would be for the rest of their lives.

-

Later that day, Cassie sat in her room, alone. Seeing Liam hadn't given her the closure that she had wanted. After leaving his room she hadn't spoken a word to anyone, and Carly had eventually given up at trying to make conversation.

After a few minutes of sitting on her bed, staring off into space, Blaise came into the room, slamming the door shut behind her causing Cassie to jump.

"Shit sorry, I forgot you would be here"

Cassie shrugged in response, turning to look at her Ipod lying on the bed next to her.

Blaise raised her eyebrows at Cassie, surprised at how rude she was been. "What's wrong?" She asked after hesitating. The two girls were been civil toward one another, but they were still far from friends.

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Stop pretending to care Blaise, a few weeks ago you couldn't even stand to look at me"

"Woah, okay I was just trying to be nice. I know I've fucked up in the past, but I've apologised and am trying to be a better person"

"What do you want, a medal? Well done Blaise for finally attempting at been a decent human being"

Blaise scowled at her "Well at least I tried. And I can't be that bad, at least I've got friends. Look at you, sitting on your bed alone, pretending to be busy on a Saturday. What, did Becky get fed up with you too?"

Cassie finally turned to look at Blaise and walked towards her before slapping her across the face. "Fuck you" she said before storming into the bathroom and locking herself in.

She stared at herself in the mirror, hating her reflection and hating what she had become. She knew that hitting Blaise made her no better than him and she hated herself for it.

All that she had done that day was push people away even though all that she wanted was to be around people that loved her.

That was wishful thinking though, because no one really loved her, did they? Blaise just put up with her, Becky probably still hated her for not been there, and Carly just looked after her because she felt she had to. No one loved her.

With that in mind, Cassie sat against the door and cried.