Surviving - Rewritten

Chapter Eighteen - Say Something

Rebecca Taylor

Becky stared blankly at the clock on the back wall. School would be over in exactly three minutes and twenty seconds and she would be able to go home.

The truth was though, Becky wasn't excited to go home like she used to be. She wasn't really excited about anything anymore. It was Monday again now, and it had been weeks since she had last seen Cassie. She was worried but she realised she probably hated her for ignoring her and for been so horrible to Lucinda. She hated herself.

She had no idea where Cassie was, none of the teachers had answered her questions and there were rumours that she had been kicked out. She knew that wasn't true though, mostly due to the fact that they were started by Leah and because Cassie hadn't done anything that could cause her to be expelled.

In the last however many weeks, Becky had completely isolated herself. She had taken pictures of food to send to her dad, only to throw the food in the bin a few minutes later. She had lost a drastic amount of weight and she felt numb the majority of the time It wasn't even that she didn't want to eat because she wanted to lose weight anymore; she just wasn't hungry.

She had talked to Stefan at first for a bit because he had become her friend. But he was always talking about a girl he liked and how beautiful she was. He wouldn't tell her the girls name he just said she was pretty, and he liked her. This was a different girl to the one he originally liked, and she didn't go to his school. Now, she was avoiding him, and she hadn't talked to anyone properly in two weeks.

"Becky, the bell rang" someone snapped, causing Becky to jump.

Becky turned to face Blaise who was now the only other person in the classroom. "Oh" she muttered, standing up. She didn't have the energy to talk to Blaise.

"Wait!" Blaise shouted, grabbing Becky's arm.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for being horrible to you. And I thought that you should know that Cassie will be back tomorrow. She was meant to be today, but I think she wasn't feeling well"

"I'm not in the bloody mood for your mind games Blaise, how would you even know that? Just piss off will you?" Becky snapped, storming past her in frustration.

Becky arrived at home about ten minutes later, having speed-walked away from Blaise and school in general.

She wasn't sure why though; she wasn't particularly eager to be back home.

"Becky!" A familiar voice shouted from behind her whilst Becky looked in her bag for her keys. "Becky, please talk to me, I thought we were friends"

Becky frowned before slowly turning around to face him. "I don't want to be friends anymore Stefan. I'm sorry"

"Why? What did I do wrong?" Stefan asked, his eyes watery and voice sounding almost desperate.

"Nothing. I just want to be alone" Becky replied, sighing in defeat. She just was too tired and drained to deal with people, and the last thing she wanted was to hear him talking about a beautiful girl he liked that wasn't her.

"I don't believe you. Something has happened and from the looks of it you're shutting everyone out. Please Becky, just talk to me"

Becky got her keys out of her bag and finally unlocked the door, ignoring Stefan and shutting the door in his face. She knew that it was uncalled for, but she was just fed up. She didn't want to talk to him or anyone else.

Quietly, Becky crept up to her room, effectively hiding from Ellie and her dad. She quickly got changed into her pyjamas and went to bed, hoping that she wouldn't be disturbed. She just didn't want to do anything or face anyone ever again. It felt like she had no energy left and she was just so tired and fed up of everything.

-

The next day Becky woke up to her alarm clock, feeling thankful, yet a little surprised that no one had bothered her. Maybe they had just given up on Becky too.

Feeling sluggish, Becky got dressed and sneaked out of the house to avoid having to eat breakfast.

Once at school, Becky went straight to her class that she used to share with Cassie and sat at the back. She couldn't help but stare at the empty seat beside her with sadness. She was glad that she was so early and therefore didn't have to deal with anyone just yet.

As students started flooding in, Becky zoned out only to jump out of her skin when she heard a familiar voice say "hi" as someone sat next to her.

Becky turned to see Cassie with a small smile on her face. She didn't look as skinny now and seemed less pale, but she did have enormous bags under her eyes. "Um hi?" Becky replied awkwardly.

Cassie laughed slightly. "I'm sorry I've not been in school for so long. I'm not really ready to talk about why now, but I have missed you and I'm so sorry that I haven't been around"

Becky frowned and shook her head. She had thought that Cassie hated her or that something seriously bad had happened to her, and here she was smiling and laughing like nothing had ever happened. She didn't even offer an explanation.

"Yeah. Sure seemed like you missed me. I was fucking worried sick about you, and you just show up like nothing happened! I thought you were a good person, clearly I was wrong"

Cassie's face fell and Becky almost felt bad as she saw her eyes water. A part of Becky knew that she was been irrational, she was after all the one that ignored Cassie after finding out about Lucinda. However, Becky was angry at everyone and everything and it had felt like Cassie had abandoned her when she hadn't shown up for weeks. She had been worried, and it felt like Cassie didn't even care.

"I-I'm sorry. I really w-want to tell you why I wasn't here but I-I just can't yet. Please don't hate me Becky"

Becky sighed in annoyance before standing up and storming out of the classroom. She heard Cassie run after her, but she ignored her as she quickly walked out of school and went straight home.