a force of nature

chapter 14- i love you.

      over the past 21 years meredith has taken at least 100 tests, varying from medical tests to spelling quizzes, it was a common task for her. when she took her first medical boards in the UK, she was down with the flu but she rose above and pushed through, occasionally throwing up once or twice between sessions. she didn't understand why she was so nervous during her second boards, maybe it was all the pent up anger that constantly stressed her out over the past few months, but again she rose above.

"i passed."

derek gave her the biggest smile and kissed her on the lips.

"i passed, oh my god i'm a surgeon again"

"you passed mer, i knew it"

as meredith got pulled in for another hug, everything came out of her. all the tears and built up anticipation spilled out of her on to derek's bare chest as he held her tight.

"thank you" meredith mumbled against his chest while continuing to cry

"anytime mer, i'm always here for you"

     derek comforted her knowing how relieved she might have felt, he loved her so much and couldn't wait to tell her. as he held her tight he felt so safe in the moment, never wanting it to end. 

     at this point meredith was out of tears and now just staring into the distance pondering how she was just going to transition from the bottom of the surgical food chain to the top. would richard even let her work at the hospital as an attending after lying to him for five straight months? how would the hospital react to her breakthrough? as she tried to push these thoughts out of her head, derek held her not letting go for a second. she loved him, and she wanted to tell him but she was terrified. terrified of commitment and someone actually loving her, being alone all her life led to her being the only one who protected herself. 

"are you ok?" derek was getting worried now, three hours had passed as she laid there spaced out in his arms

"yeah, i think i'm just really in shock"

"do you wanna talk about it?"

"can we just stay here a little longer?"

it was now 11 in the morning after waking up at 8am to the amazing news that sparked both their worlds.

**

    derek wanted to celebrate with mer, of course after she snapped out of the weird dream state she seemed trapped in. he didn't understand why she was so out of it, everything was finally going her way and she didn't seem too enthusiastic about it.

"go get dressed mer" derek said while releasing her from his arms

"why derek it's sunday, i have to go prepare to tell richard anyways"

"worry about that later, i'm taking you out"

without any other questions meredith stumbled out of bed into the bathroom and got ready.

"where are you taking me?" 

they had just arrived at the dock to start the romantic evening derek had planned for her. he was going to take her to bainbridge island on the ferry and finally tell her the three words he was longing to say to her ever since they met.

"just wait and see"

he led her on to the ferry boat as they cruised along the Seattle skyline, and in just a few minutes they arrived at Via Rosa 11, it was a romantic italian restaurant, mer's favorite type of food.

**

"this is beautiful derek" meredith said in awe

"italian, your favorite"

"yeah"

they smiled at eachother as they were seated

"meredith, ever since i met you at that bar everything else disappeared for a moment. your eyes, personality, intelligence, there is nothing i don't like about you. i love you."

he spit it out, fear instilled him as meredith sat there taking in his words, praying for her to say the three words back.

"i love you too, but i'm scared as hell to love you derek," meredith was internally relieved that the feeling was mutual but she wasn't ready for a relationship yet, she needed time to get to know him better. hell, she didn't even meet his family yet.

"we can take it slow, i'm just saying i love you. i would give my life up for you meredith grey, all my life i thought addison was my dream girl but i was wrong you are. you. you make me feel safe like i've known you my whole life, i want to grow old with you, have children with you, marry you. and until then i will be waiting for you, right by your side through thick and thin."

"so we are a thing or whatever?"

"we can be anything you want as long as you love me"

"i am perfectly satisfied with being labeled a thing"

"fine with me"

"i love you derek"

"i love you more"

the pair had finally let go of their feelings towards eachother and they were on the same page. meredith had never loved a man as much as derek, yeah she had a couple of flings back in the UK but with him she could feel something special. she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life, but taking it slow was ideal for her right now, she was going to wait it out until everything was settled. until then, they were labeled a "thing" which satisfied them both, because they loved eachother.

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4/7/21

decided not to be a bitch and make her pass:)) also merder supremacy forever! anyways, see you the next time i update, don't forget to vote and comment<3

-H.L