The Way You Don't Look At Me

Chapter 4 - You're Cute

When I sat down, I kept scratching at my left wrist because it's an anxious habit of mine. Demi and I were on her couch, with the music blaring and other people's conversations surrounding us. I didn't know if I was supposed to say something first, I didn't even know what to say. I looked up and Demi was smiling at me, and then I saw her glance down to what I was doing, and her face changed.

"What are you doing?" She asked, scooting closer to me, keeping her eyes on my moving hand.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a nervous habit." I said laughing slightly. "Well there's no reason to be nervous, I promise. But you shouldn't-" she said but stopped, as she grabbed my hand and flipped it over. It was irritated, nothing bad. But you could see the scars on my arm from when I didn't have someone to grab my hand and make me stop. When I scratched I usually dont even notice until it's raw. Demi examined my arm for a brief second and took a deep breath, and interlaced our fingers, bringing my hand to her lap where it sat holding hers.

"You have no reason to be nervous. I promise. I saw your interview with Jimmy, and what you said was really sweet." She said to me, making eye contact to me. I stared into her brown eyes for a moment, realizing that I was starting to get lost in them and that I needed to speak because that's how a conversation works.

"Of course, I mean seriously you've inspired me so much. I don't even know how to begin to thank you" I said and looked down.

Demi gave me a soft smile. "You're sweet. You really are. So tell me about yourself. Who is 'Jade Rivers'?" She asked.

I laughed, and Demi gave me a confused look. "What?" She asked. "Nothing no, when people ask me that question I never know how to answer. Like do I tell them the basics? The stupid shit? The deep dark trauma? So many places to start" I told her. She let out a laugh and ran her finger through her hair.

"Well I'll love to know all of it. But start wherever you want" she said. I nodded, but before I started I said "Are you sure you want to hear this right now? I mean you have so many people here I'm sure you'd want to talk to."

Demi shook her head, "I see all of these people constantly, these kinda parties are typical. It's more of other people to get to know each other. And when Scooter told me you were coming, I made it clear before you got here that you'd probably have my attention for the night. So, it's all yours"

"Wow, all of this attention and I haven't even gotten you to fall for me yet" I blurted out. I instantly froze and I felt my cheeks turn red. Demi had an amused smile on her face. "I am... SO sorry" I told her. Demi shook her head and smiled at me "Don't be, that was good." She said.

"Okay, sorry. Um anywho, about me. Well, I was born and raised in Chicago, I did theatre all throughout high school and decided to major in it in college until I dropped out. For awhile I just lived with my grandparents and my dad, until my grandparents passed while I was in high school, then it was just me and my dad until his girlfriend moved in and her son, they're great. Um, I love Disney, like LOVE Disney. I love oldies music, horror movies, romcoms, all that jazz. Oh and I LOVE musicals. Red is my favorite color, I love doing my makeup and writing. I was never able to have a dog growing up so I had MANY reptiles. And uh, yeah I think that's about it that I can come up with right now" I said with a little laugh.

"Wow. Okay. I love that honestly. What about your mom?" She asked curiously.

I looked at Demi for a minute then looked down, and she caught on to the change in mood. "Oh, im sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" she said sincerely

"No, no you're fine. I just haven't talked about in awhile being here because it was kinda labeled as a 'do not bring up.' But when I was three my mother left me. She was an addict, and started using when she was pregnant with me. After kidnapping me, physical abuse and refusing to get clean, my dad got custody. She had visitation rights but chose not to use them." I said with a small smile.