The Way You Don't Look At Me

Chapter 33 - An Unexpected Conversation

Demi's POV

My mind had been spinning non stop since last night. I feel like I'm genuinely the worst human being to exist. First I cheat on her, then I go and ruin her relationship? What kind of person does that? It's beginning to eat me up inside.

It was selfish of me to do, I realize that. But what's probably more selfish is the fact that the part i think about most, is when she said she never stopped loving me as well. The way she said it has been replaying in my brain.

I don't know when is the right time to reach out, or if I should even reach out. She said she'd text me, but part of me doesn't think it'll happen. Granted it probably won't happen for awhile, considering that Liv is currently in town.

I felt the guilt return when thinking about the conversation Jade has to have with her. She's having the conversation I didn't have the balls to do. I felt like a coward when I think back to how I handled our situation.

A day didn't go by where I don't think about that day. Or think about Jade. I couldn't even look at anyone after, even when she moved on.

I'll be honest, my reaction when I saw Liv calling her that day could have been better. But i think it was the fact that it was Liv is what hurt me. I'd never tell Jade this, but when I met Liv when Jade and I were in Chicago, I felt threatened. I could see the way she looked at Jade. And anyone with eyes could see how beautiful Liv was, inside and out.

The day of Jade and I's big fight, it had stemmed from the argument with Alex. When she kept saying that Jade deserves better, and that there was better out there, i put up a strong face but deep down, I knew she was right. I never thought Alex was the person that Jade deserved if it wasn't me, I knew it'd be Liv. Because as much as I hate to admit it, she's an amazing girl.

I know I should have confidence in myself, but I think part of me knew I was going to fuck it up somehow. But if she does chose me again, I know I'll never mess anything up again. Because all I want is her.

Thinking about this time last year was so weird. This exact day last year Jade and I weren't talking, because I had messed up thinking that I didn't have feelings for her. And then Friday marks the day we became official, her birthday.

I keep replaying all the memories in my head. The duet, the first party I went to with her, moving in together, the first I love yous. My heart still flutters every time I think of it.

I sighed to myself and got out of bed. I walked over to change into some gym clothing, so i could do a little work out.

I worked out for about an hour, and then went back to my room to change and take a shower. After doing that i out on some leggings, and an oversized button up shirt. I put my rings on, and brushed my hair and walked down stairs.

While making myself breakfast, I was about to pour myself my smoothie when I heard the doorbell ring.

I furrowed my eyebrows and set down my glass. I walked over to the door and opened it, instantly feeling my eyes widen and my jaw drop slightly.

"Hi Demi."

"Hi Liv."

"Can i come in?" She asked, and I nodded slightly, moving out of the way so she could step in. I watched her look around, like she was taking everything in.

"Beautiful house." She said. I smiled awkwardly and nodded. "Thank you, how did you-"

"I asked a few of Jades friends and they sent me your address." She said, almost like she was embarrassed.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Um, I was about to pour myself a smoothie, would you like a glass?" I asked. Liv nodded her head, and ran her fingers through her hair.