fire ;; lashton

share.

It's 3 am and my mind is still clouded with the thought of you in my arms.

-

It was the early morning, they could tell by the lack of pure darkness of the sky. Luke could feel Ashton's heartbeat underneath his ear, reverberating in his skull like the perfect melody to a song on repeat. Ashton could hear Luke's breathing, soft and pure like snow. He knew that right now Luke felt naked, as if he'd peeled a layer of his skin that exposed him and all his secrets. But Ashton was willing to keep them hidden from everyone else.

"It started when I was four," Ashton's blue voice was monotone, trying to hide the pain. "The abuse. My dad would hit me because I couldn't read as well as the other kids and because I drew out of the lines. At the time I didn't think that what he was doing was wrong, he was the parent and I was a child. And then when I was six I could hear the screaming; my father had started hitting my mum. I didn't realize that until I was nine, when we would both be leaving the house black and blue and yellow and purple. But then he stopped feeding me. He said I was too fat for a twelve year old, that I should be skinny like the other kids. I wouldn't get supper, and if I did it was a small piece of meat. My brother and sister, younger than me, tried to sneak up food to help. They actually cared. So he sent them to Canada, away from me, claiming how I was a bad influence. He taught me how to throw up the food I digested, but he never taught me how to stop. That was around the time of my eleventh birthday, also the time my mother left--though she actually died a year later then the date of the tattoo. She couldn't take it. Started raising another family. But she didn't take me with her, and I think that's what hurt the most, especially since it was around the same time as the Danny and Florence thing. That's when I started cutting, when I realized I was alone. The world is full of shame and cruelty and the one bit of happiness you have is always taken away, somehow. They found my father, almost dead, in a pool of his blood, me standing in front of him. I was blamed, of course, but I couldn't remember what happened. Shipped off to an asylum, I tried to improve, and I did. This is the best I'm going to get."

Luke grabbed onto his hand, holding it tightly and trying to transfer all the admiration he felt for Ashton with the one gesture. "Thank you. For trusting me." He whispered into the delicate silence, pressing a featherish kiss to Ashton's jaw.

Ashton smiled, pulling Luke further into him. As he listened to Luke's breathing even out, he whispered, "Thank you for letting me." Unknowing of the fact that Luke was awake and trying not to smile, listening to the sounds of Ashton falling asleep.

-

well um yeah bye