Can't forget you [a Kyle O'Reilly story]

12 Breaking point

There really were always two sides to life. This fact became clearer to me the longer I was with Kyle. I tried to focus on the lighter side. The side with love and affection and fun and comfort.

But the dark side was spreading just as much as the light side. Kyle still said that the interest in us had to subside at some point. But so far that was not the case. In fact, it was the opposite. It became worse. 

At first, his fans seemed enthusiastic, but somewhere along the way, this enthusiasm of some turned to anger and hatred towards me. These were certainly not true fans, if they threatened the loved ones of their idols and sent hate messages.

Kyle really tried his best to calm me down and assure me that nothing would happen. That what these people were writing was just empty words and I should ignore it. And whenever we were together, I usually succeeded. But when I was by myself, I was always accompanied by a bad feeling.

The worst thing that had happened so far happened when Kyle insisted that I accompany him and the boys to an autograph session with fan meet and greets. I felt that it was not a good idea, but I let Kyle and his cute puppy eyes convince me. He took me tightly in his arms and promised me faithfully that nothing would happen and that it gave me the opportunity to see an important side of his job. The bonding with his fans.

I had to admit it was really nice. Especially when little kids would walk up to the guys and ask if they could have a hug. The way they smiled really melted my heart. That's what Kyle meant when he told me that those moments with the proud, supportive people far outweighed the trouble with the trolls. 

But then something happened that I had not expected. While the guys were standing on the panel answering questions, a group of three men approached me. At first, I thought nothing of it and turned my attention back to Kyle. However, as the men circled me, my heart began to race, but not in a good way. More in a panicked way.

"Look what we have here fellas. It's O'Reilly's little girlfriend. Real cute, ain't she? Hey baby, what do you say you give us an autograph too. Or maybe you want to have a drink with us?" the tallest man of the group spoke and came closer and closer. I stretched out my arm in front of me.

"Stay where you are! Please leave me alone. I'm not signing autographs and I'm certainly not going anywhere with you!" I declared, trying to keep my voice calm. But I didn't succeed. My voice was trembling and low. I felt that my breathing was becoming shallow and irregular. Cold sweat was forming on my skin.

"Come on, sugar. Don't be like this. Come with us. We'll have fun for sure." said another guy.

Then everything happened very quickly. The big guy grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. I started to panic. I tried to get my hand out of his grip and yell at him. But I couldn't. He was too strong and my voice would not do what I wanted.

Luckily, one of the security guards saw what was happening and intervened. Another security man came and led me to a far corner where none of the fans had access.

I immediately sank to the floor and hugged my knees. I swayed back and forth without noticing while my breathing was labored. I was feeling cold and I was shaking like crazy. I didn't notice what was happening around me because I was too focused on getting myself back under control.

As arms wrapped around my shoulders, I began to flail.

"Baby, it's me. Y/N, calm down. I got you." Kyle said to me and when I heard his voice I calmed down a little. But the shaking did not subside.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, but I couldn't answer.

"Can someone tell me what happened?" Kyle asked the security guards.

I think they then explained to him what they had seen, but I wasn't sure. It must have taken another 15 minutes for me to calm down enough to talk. 

Kyle held me in his arms the whole time and talked to me soothingly. I was so grateful that he was there for me at that moment.

I lifted my head and looked at him with tears streaming down my face. I hadn't even realized I was crying until that moment.

"Kyle..." I whispered, resting my forehead against his shoulder.

"Y/N, everything is fine. Nothing happened to you." he repeated over and over.

"I want to go home." I finally whispered.

And that was exactly what he did. He led me to the car and drove me home. I was still not able to talk. I was too shocked by what had happened. When we arrived at my apartment, Kyle took my keys and unlocked the door for me. I immediately went to the couch and wrapped myself tightly in a blanket.

"Baby, please talk to me! I'm worried." said Kyle anxiously.

"I can't do this," I whispered huskily.

"You can't do what?" he asked.

"This is too much. I knew something like this would happen, but you didn't listen to me." I whispered again and started swaying back and forth again.

"I need to find a solution. I need a break," I continued to whisper.

"What do you mean you need a break?" Kyle wanted to know, his voice starting to sound angry.

"I need time to find a solution for us, Kyle. I love you, but this can't go on. What happens next?" I explained to him.

"Y/N, if you're going to break up with me, do it now. Because that's what it sounds like to me right now." he said out loud.

That hurt. It hurt so much.

"Of course I don't want to break up with you. I love you. I said I needed time. That's all." I replied.

"And what do you think will be your solution? I'm sorry about what happened today, Y/N. And I love you too, but I know what's happening here. This is something I can't stand. I'm just doing it for you. We are over. That's the easiest solution." Kyle said in a cracked voice.

"Kyle, no! Don't do this! I said I needed time. I don't want to lose you!" I cried, getting up from the couch and walking towards him.

"Too late for that." he replied and stormed out of my apartment.

The door slammed loudly into the lock and I jumped.

All I wanted was a break to find a suitable solution to our situation. The last thing on my mind was to break up.

The last four months unfolded before my inner eye and I thought of the future I had just lost. Three strange men and a panic attack caused me to lose what I loved more than anything else in life.

For the second time that day I sank to the floor and cried so much that I doubted I could ever stop.