Can't forget you [a Kyle O'Reilly story]

14 Questions

It rang and rang and rang. I didn't even know why I was still trying. If Kyle hadn't answered my calls so far, why would he this time? In the course of the past two months, I had tried to reach him at least 100 times. Always with the same result.

It was probably time to accept that it was over. And maybe it just wasn't meant to be. No matter how good and right it felt. The craziest part of the whole thing was that I would have loved to be mad at Kyle, but I just couldn't be. 

"Knock, knock." I heard from the door, but I didn't bother to look up.

"Hey, sweetie. How are you doing today?" asked BF/N quietly.

I looked at her with my red puffy eyes and thought about her question for a moment. How was I doing today? I didn't have an answer to the question so I just shrugged.

"Y/N, please don't take this the wrong way, but.... how long do you want this to go on?" she asked.

"I don't know. I don't know how it can get better, BF/N. Can I forget about him? I doubt it. If it hurts this much, there can only be one reason. Kyle is... was the love of my life. And since he doesn't want to be a part of my life anymore, I have to learn to deal with it somehow. I don't know how long that will take." I explained to her softly. Looking out the window. 

"What do you think about going out to dinner with me and Jake tonight? You need to get out of here." she said as she sat down next to me and brushed my hair out of my face.

"I can't. I have another article to correct. To be honest, that's the only thing distracting me right now. Maybe another time." I replied.

"Okay, tomorrow then. I'll pick you up at 6pm. No excuses. You need to get back around people and most importantly, you need to eat more. You've lost a lot of weight. That worries me," she said and I could hear in her voice how much she was worried about me.

"Okay. No, wait! Tomorrow is Wednesday... don't you and Jake want to go to the wrestling show?" I asked hesitantly, the question burning like acid.

"No, we don't, and to be completely honest, we haven't been in a while. Jake is worried I'm going to jump the barricade and scratch Kyle's eyes out." she explained to me.

Even though BF/N made it sound like a joke, I was sure she wouldn't hesitate to do just that if the opportunity presented itself.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow, but please don't expect too much," I said.

"I won't. I promise. Baby steps." she promised me and kissed the side of my head before saying goodbye again. However, not without giving me another worried look.

I sighed. I flipped open my laptop and tried to focus on the only thing that could bring me anything resembling joy at the moment. Writing. 

But when I was done with my work after a few hours, I sank back into the same thoughts. The thoughts were always about what I could have done differently. Could I somehow get Kyle to talk to me? Had it been a stupid idea to go to the show back then? Who was to blame for this mess? So many different questions and just as many answers.

But which answer best matched which question? That was the puzzle in my head that I tried to bring together. But the pieces just didn't want to fit together.

Lost in thought, I did what I've always done lately when I particularly miss him. I looked at photos and videos on my phone. Sometimes I listened to old voice messages from him. Then I just let the tears roll down my face until I drifted into a restless and exhausting sleep.

As I lay there on the couch, my eyes growing heavy, my phone suddenly rang. My heart leapt as unrealistic hope spread through me. One look at the display and at the sight of the unknown number, any spark of hope that had formed so quickly disappeared.

I took a deep breath and answered it.

"Hello?" I said softly.

"Hey Y/N! How you doing, shortie? It's Adam..."