The Magic in Schitts Creek (Originally Named: Schitts Creek)

Family Dinner: 1

6:00 AM

Hermione felt her fiance's warm embrace. She opened her eyes and pecked Evan's lips.

"Sweetheart, it's time to get up." She said softly. Evan let out a groan. Hermione let out a chuckle, "Ev, c'mon."

"Fine." He sat up. Evan held his hand out, "Accio." The two's clothes flew into his hand. He placed Hermione's clothes next to her. Currently, all she had on was a sheet. Evan dressed in a white dress shirt and jeans and left the room to make breakfast. Suddenly a wave of nausea overtook her. Hermione made a beeline to the bathroom and bent over the toilet. She started to throw up.

" 'Mione?" Evan came back into the room. He swung the door open and immediately held her hair back.

"You'll be okay. Sh, sh, sh," Evan ran his hand through her hair, "I'm here." 
===

9:00 AM

Evan sat between his parents thoroughly reading a  bill that the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures wanted to pass. Alexis jogged in panting and went over to the mini-fridge.

"Someone keeps eating my yogurt!" She turned to the three; glaring at them. David walked in and gasped. Ironically, he was holding her yogurt.

"Arrrgghhh!" She groaned.

"What kind of yogurt?" David asked.

"I was saving that for after my run, David!" Alexis whined.

"Oh, my god, I guess I was saving it for during your run, then." He responded. She scoffed.

"You're like a big, dirty raccoon, David!" Alexis turned to Evan, "Can't you turn him into a raccoon?" Evan sighed and rubbed his temples throwing the bill on the table.

"I can, but I don't want to." He replied.

"Oh, Alexis, you're almost 40. If you want some food, prepare yourself some food!" Moira exclaimed. She looked at her mother and gestured around the room.

"There is no food!" She replied, "Nobody can cook, this is basically child abuse!" 

"David can cook," Johnny said.

"I can't cook," David responded.

"You got that Teppanyaki table for your bar mitzvah." Johnny looked up at him.

"That was thrown out after Alexis left her extensions on it, and everything smelled like burnt hair." David corrected.

"I thought it was an actual table, David." She defended herself.

"There was a plug coming out of the side of it!" David said.

"Evan, you can't cook either, right?" Moira asked.

"I can, actually." He said.

"Who taught you?" Johnny asked.

"Raymond Reddington. Met him in a park. He wanted me to do some work for him and in exchange, he taught me how to cook. But, what we didn't expect, was a father-son relationship." Evan grabbed the bill again.

"You are best friends with the Raymond Reddington, FBI's number four on the most wanted?" David asked in disbelief.

"No, he's a 400-foot platypus bear (I had to) with hands and a fully developed brain," Evan said with sarcasm dripping from each word, "Of course he's the criminal!" 

"Why don't you cook?" Alexis said to Evan. He crossed his arms with a toothy grin.

" 'Cause this is so much fun to watch!" He exclaimed.

"Why don't you cook, Alexis, you can cook," Johnny said.

"I can't cook." She said, "Why don't you cook?"

"Well, I-I could--- I-I could cook." Johnny stammered. Evan clapped his hands and let out a jovial laugh.

"Oh, this is too much fun!" He smiled.

"Oh, John, John! This embarrassing! Fine, I'll cook dinner tonight." Moira said confidently. Evan wheezed. Johnny, Alexis, Evan, and David looked at each other.

"What was that chicken dish Adelina used to make?" Alexis said.

"Mm! The enchiladas." David said.

"Oh, Adelina, she was a good cook, remember?" Johnny reminisced. The three agreed.

"Excuse me, but the enchiladas were my mother's recipe," Moira told them.

"I don't think so," Evan said.

"Yeah. That's not how I remember it." David agreed.

"I made it for you all the time!" She shouted, "John?"

"Yes, well, if that's the way you remember things sweetheart, that's---"

"Okay, enough, tonight I will make my mother's enchiladas. And David, you will help me." She said. Evan let out a chuckle.

"Uh, what?" He asked confused. Alexis turned to him with a smirk.

"Oh, my gosh, David, it's gonna be so fun for you tonight," She booped his nose, "Doing that with mom."

"Don't touch me. Don't! That's harassment." They walked back into the adjoining room. Johnny turned to Evan.

"What's that?" Johnny asked.

"It's a classification bill from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Honestly, the bill is outrageous! I've never read something so repulsing!" Evan said.

"Let me see." He gave Johnny the page.

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A classification is given by the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures to all known Beasts, Beings, and Spirits. These act as guides to the danger - level of a creature. There are five categories which are as follows:-

XXXXX - This category is rated as Wizard killer. It is impossible to train or domesticate.

For example - Acromantula, Basilisk, Chimaera, Dragon, Werewolf, etc.

XXXX - This category is rated dangerous and requires a specialist's knowledge. Only skilled wizards can handle it.

For example - Centaur, Merpeople, Occamy, Phoenix, Sphinx, Troll, etc.

XXX - This category is rated medium. Competent wizards can cope with it.

For example - Hippogriff, Pixie, Niffler, Salamander, Sea serpent, Nogtail, etc.

XX - This category is rated Harmless. The creatures can be domesticated.

For example - Fairy, Ghoul, Gnome, Augury, Grindylow, etc.

X - This is rated boring. The creatures are in no way harmful and quite peaceful. Creatures can be tamed

For example - Flobberworm, Horklump, etc.

"I domesticated a basilisk." Evan muttered angrily