Jazzagals:1

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The group had gotten back from England a few weeks before and settled back into Schitt's Creek. Evan was on a cane now. Alexis was having a week and a half sleepover with her new boyfriend, Mutt. It was well into the morning now. 8:00 AM. 

David had spent the last few minutes examining the holes moths had made in his luxury sweaters. A look of shock, disappointment, and frustration mixed into his face.

"David! Alexis! Time to leave for breakfast," Moira shouted as she entered the siblings' bedroom, "Honestly, David. Why are you not ready?"

"I'm not going. How is it that a moth can find its way into a triple-locked titanium suitcase?" David asked his mother.

"The perils of owning cashmere," She turned to the bathroom door, "Alexis! Please, dear!" David rolled his eyes.

"Alexis hasn't been here for a week and a half. She's at Mutt's." David reminded her.

"Well, that's simply not true," Moira denied, "I had breakfast with her just yesterday."

"That was me!"

"We had a lengthy conversation about hosiery and menopause." She smirked at him smugly.

"Again, that was me."

===

Evan walked down the steps relying heavily on the railing. Hermione had wanted him to use a cane, but Evan was adamant that he didn't need it.

"Seriously?" A voice sounded behind him. A small smile played on his lips.

"Good morning, love," He turned around, "How'd you sleep?"  Hermione walked down and met him at the bottom of the stairs. The two shared a tender kiss.

"Well, from the occasional wave of nausea and the fact that I just saw you walking WITHOUT YOUR CANE. I slept well." She replied. The two of them intertwined arms and walked to the table. 

"Sit. I'll make breakfast." Evan said as he pulled a chair out for her. He went to the kitchen and began making eggs for the two of them.

"Did you know Alex had her baby?" Hermione stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

"No. What's the gender?" asked Evan.

"It's a girl." Evan laughed.

"She always did say that she was going to have a girl," He told her.

"When was this?" Hermione questioned.

"When you and I had that little break when you decided to date that Bulgarian BonBon." He spat. Hermione frowned and rolled her eyes.

"You're still mad about that?" She asked him.

"Well, I went to ask my girlfriend to the Yule Ball. She had another date. She kissed that date then proceeded to date the two of us at the same time until the end of the year. What do you think?" Evan said sharply. He glared at her and placed the pot on the stove, " Incedio." He waved his hand and the stove sparked to life.

"Evan, it was an accident," Hermione told him.

"You could've waited for me," He mumbled, "I had a big thing planned. I just have one question." She put her arms around his waist and rest her chin on his shoulder.

"Go ahead." 

"Do...Do you still love him?" He asked hesitantly.

"No, I never did." Evan used his legillimency to see if she was telling the truth.  She was. Hermione let go of him.

"You seriously don't trust me that much to just take my word for it." Hermione scoffed.

"How can I when you played the part so well that everyone believed it?" snapped Evan. Hermione raised her eyebrows looking genuinely surprised. Evan had never done this before. She soon became more pissed.

"Well, you were seeing Daphne Greengrass! You danced with her at the Yule Ball! And you're a bisexual, you could've been seeing anyone!" She yelled.

" 'Mione, she's dating Pansy! And what do I liking both females and males have to do with this?" He rolled his eyes, "How many fucking times have you been unfaithful?" Silence.

"Twice. Ron and Krum." Hermione confessed.

"And you've got the audacity to make it look like I'm the bad guy?" Evan said as he took in a deep breath, "When was Ron?"

"Last week." She answered. Evan squeezed his eyes shut.

"The baby's Ron's?" She looked down. Tears started to unwillingly spill out of his eyes.

"Leave the ring on the counter and get the fuck out of my house. The wedding's off. I don't want to see you again." He whispered.

"Evan-"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

===

David marched to the office and opened the door.

"Question," He closed the door. Stevie was peacefully reading a book behind her desk, "The cedar planks out behind the motel, are they being used for something, or are they up for grabs?"

"How do you know it's cedar?" Stevie asked, twirling her wand in her hands.

"Um, I bought a cologne once, in Japan, that's supposed to smell like the aftermath of a car crashing into a cedar tree," David explained.

"Why would anyone wanna smell like that?" Stevie shook her head slowly.

"Hmm?"

"You know what. Never mind, the cedar is yours." David smiled.

"Thank you so much," He went to walk out.

"Um, if I may," He paused, "What are you planning to do with a pile of wood?"

"Oh. Um, a family of moths seen to have mistaken my cashmere sweaters for an Atlantic City all-you-can-eat buffet. And I plan on putting a stop to that. So, I'm building a cedar chest for my knits." David explained.

"You're planning on building a cedar chest?" Stevie asked disbelievingly.

"That's correct," confirmed David.

"You are? You're going to build it?" Stevie asked again.

"It's a box! So, you're just nailing some planks of wood together. Anyway, if you've seen the state of my sweaters, you'd know that I have very little choice in the matter. So, thank you." David replied.

"Well, don't let me stand in the way of your handiwork!" Stevie exclaimed. She pointed her wand at the door and it burst open.

"May the force be with you." She exclaimed. David turned around and put his hands together in a praying motion.

"Thank you so much," He strolled to the door, "Thank you, genuinely. Honestly, you're so great." The door slammed shut.

===

Evan packed a bag. Hermione came up behind him.

"I thought I told you to leave." He hissed. 

"I came to get my clothes." She said.

"I assume you're moving in with Weasley." Evan folded one of his shirts into the bag. Hermione put her hand on his face. Evan paused, his breathing hitched. Gently, he moved her hand from his face.

"Get your shit and leave," He said calmly, "You know what?" Evan waved his hand and her belongings were at her feet. She started to cry once more. 

"I'm sorry. Please, take me back." Hermione begged. His face became cold.

"Out."

A/n: Omg, thank you for 1.1k reads!   

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