Back In Your Arms (GM Series #4)

01

"I just hope you are not pregnant," he said indifferently that it shocked me. Nasa hapag kami at ito bigla ang sinabi n'ya pagkatapos kong sabihing may napapansin ako sa sarili ko tulad ng pag c-crave ng kung ano-anong pagkain.

"Huh?" All I could react.

He glanced at me and shrugged. "I don't want a child. I'm good with just the two of us," he answered.

And for some reason, I felt my inside sink.

He doesn't want a child. I never knew about that until now.

Unconsciously, I held on to my still flat stomach. I am pregnant. I was about to tell him that today but this is what I heard.

I felt a pang on my chest.

"Why?" I was still able to ask although my whole system is starting to shiver; afraid of what I might do after hearing his reason.

Aydan shrugged. "I just don't want to. I never see myself as a father. I wasn't made to be one," he said and as I was expecting, my heart sank even more.

I was already hurting for my still unborn child. It hurts me hearing how his or her father unwanted him.

"You never told me about that," I said in a small voice, discouraged by what I heard from him. "I mean, how could you know that you won't be a good father without actually being one?"

Aydan and I, we have been together for almost eight years before we decided to get married, and now, we are in our second year of marriage. More than two years actually.

We have been together for more than a decade now.

How could he not mention that to me?

"I thought you understood it since I asked you to use pills?" He asked me instead.

"Aydan, that was way back in college! Of course, I understand that you don't want to have a child yet back then, I didn't want that either. We were still young and still figuring out our future, we both didn't want a distraction. But we are not in college anymore, we are both adults now; both stable and matured, and married! How come you didn't mention that to me?"

But instead of answering, he just stared at me. I sighed in disappointment.

"You didn't even ask for my opinion about this," I added when he didn't speak still. "You only thought of yourself and your opinion."

Tears started to moist from my eyes that before it fell, I already stood, ready to leave. But even before I could step, he spoke again.

"Do you want to have kids?" He asked.

With his question, my anger boiled even more. I faced him again and poured out my frustration. "Of course, I want to have kids with you! I want to be the mother of your children!" I blurted. "But how come you never discussed this to me before? Aydan, we were together for more than a decade now!"

"Would you change your mind if I told you?"

I shook my head. "I wouldn't be this hurt if you did tell me. I would have prepared myself for this. But you're so selfish to not include me in your plans. I'm so disappointed," I said.

My tears finally fell. I wiped it immediately.

"How about you? Will you change your mind if you heard my opinion about it long before?" I asked but he didn't say anything again.

He just sighed and while he was looking at me. His eyes were telling me how displeased he was for having this discussion.

I turned my back and left finally. My heart was heavy from that conversation. And for the first time in our relationship, our misunderstanding lasted for days.