Captivated

Zayn-Chapter Ten

Last night. I don't even have the words to describe last night. Power took over me. Control took over me. It felt so good to dominate her. I was in my element. This is what I have done for the longest time. What I am meant to do. How could I ever give up the feeling of being in control?

She was so scared of me. She was terrified. I liked it. I like it when people are afraid of me. But Ashley, her horrified screams edged me on even more. I left burn after burn on her body just because I could. Just because the power and adrenaline told me to.

As much as I loved what I did last night, I can't help but feel bad about what I did to her. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every minute of it. But, I burned her over and over again. I scarred her. I physically hurt her. I have to make it up to her somehow. She doesn't deserve what I did to her, but yet, I did it anyway. It's like I can't control myself. I know what I am doing is bad and awful and I should probably stop but after years and years of doing this, it's hard to quit. I now know what I have to do to win her back. To make her forget about what I so greedily did to her. I hope she likes it.

In preparation for the surprise, I call on my servant, James, to go fetch Ashley and bring her to my office. Once she is in my office, I have her text her parents and her best friend because her stupid phone has been going off non-stop. I have her say that she is all good and that she just needed to get away for a little bit. On the ransom note, I wrote it to look like Ashley's handwriting. I wrote that she needed to escape and to not worry. Clearly, her parents are worried, so that didn't work.

After she is done texting her family and friends, I say, "Stand up, I want to show you something."

Ashley followed my order and I took her hand and led her down a hallway that she has never been down before. I led her around corners and through dimly lit halls. We finally reach a metal door that has bolts going horizontally all the way down. I pushed open the door and flick the lights on.

"Stairs?" She said surprised. She wasn't expecting me to lead her to a staircase but there are going to be more things she won't expect coming up very shortly.

"Yes, Ashley. Stairs." I responded. "They led somewhere. Let's go."

"Yes, sir." She said sarcastically hoping I won't catch it but I did. I tried to hide the small smile that was fighting to come up.

I pulled her gently up the stairs while I still held her hand. I realized how willing she is to follow me. I could be leading her to her death right now and she would still follow me. Ever since she has been here she has been really cooperative and does everything I say without fighting it. Good to know I have a hold over her.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ashley spoke up as we were climbing the stairs.

"What." I snapped. I wasn't really in the mood for questions. Especially hers when they dive into personal information. How much does she want and need to know about me?

"Why did you kidnap me? Am I the first person you kidnapped?" Her voice was small, hinting that as much as she did want to know the answer, she didn't want to know it even more.

"I told you. I just found you interesting. I was watching you. And no. There have been four others." I kept my voice level and calm. Just wanting to get this over with.

"Why do you kidnap people?" She asked. And that's a good question. I don't even know myself. I know the reason why I do it- to make girls feel what I felt while I was being abused by my mother but I don't know why I have the impulse to actually do it.

I stop climbing the stairs and faced her. "It's just the way I am," I answered. Hoping that would be enough for her.

"Why?" She challenged me. Clearly, it wasn't enough and if I was her, I would be asking myself the same question, why. That's all that it ever comes down to. Why do I do these things? Why am I the way that I am? Why do I hurt these girls, when it's my mother's fault? I never know the answers to these questions. I am just hoping that maybe Ashley can help me figure myself out. Because God knows, I can't do it alone.

We didn't speak for a couple of seconds. We just looked into each other's eyes. Her's were a mixture of confusion and sadness. I don't want her to feel sorry for me. I don't even feel sorry for myself. I have just accepted that this is who I am always going to be but I can't diminish that little bit of hope floating through my body that maybe one day I will change. One day, I will be different.

"Zayn," Her small voice broke me out of my head and back to reality. Neither of us knowing what to do or say next.

But suddenly, I remember where we are and who I am. I remembered my surprise for her. I put back up my walls and said, "Let's go."

We both didn't talk as we climbed the rest of the stairs. The only sounds being our heavy breathing and our footsteps. I could tell she was thinking about me in her head but didn't want to ask me any more questions because she was afraid of what I would do.

When we got to the top, we both took a few seconds to catch our breaths. Then I dropped her hand and opened the big heavy door that leads outside. Beyond the door was a garden. A real-life garden outside where all the plants and trees can breathe in the fresh air.

Ashley walked past me and into the garden. I watched her as she took in all the sights. All the colorful flowers that lined the cobblestone paths. The huge white marble fountain spewing blue water into its basin. The benches and lamp posts that appeared evenly spaced on the paths. She just took in everything and I watched her from the now-closed door in which I was leaning against.

Ashley turned me with pure excitement and joy in her eyes. "What is this place?" She asked.

"This," I motioned to the garden in front of me, "is my garden. This is where I spend most of my time. It's where I do my writing and dive deeper into this mind of mine."

"Why did you bring me up here?"

I stood up from my place at the door and moved closer to her. "I thought you would like it. You know, I never brought anyone up here before."

When I took a few more steps towards her, she questioned, "Why am I special?" My shoes were almost touching her bare feet.

"Because," I whispered, "because you are."

Before she should respond, I crashed my lips onto hers. The kiss was soft and slow. Nothing too fast or rough. It was just a simple kiss. Nothing else to it. I put my hands on her cheeks to keep her close to me.

When I pulled away, I rested her forehead on hers. "God, Ashley," I whispered against her. "What are you doing to me?"

"I could say the same."

No other words were exchanged during this moment. Neither of us wanting to break that perfect silence. However, instead of enjoying having her so close to me and being in the moment, what she just said to me kept me thinking. Does she feel the same way I do about her? It can't be. She can't be in love with me. She can't be with me. I'm not good for her. But as much as I try to deny my feelings, as much as I try to push them down, they always come back up. This kiss sealed my feelings for her. I can't deny it any longer. I have fallen for the girl I kidnaped.