Captivated

Zayn- Chapter Twenty Four

It's been a week. A week since I have been dragged away in handcuffs. A week since Ashley called the cops on me. It has been a full week that I have been sitting in jail. Turns out, the police found the bunker and searched it. James was there at the time and they arrested him. He got let out on bail when he confessed to being my accomplice. I, however, am serving a life sentence. James told the cops everything. From how I abuse girls, to how I take advantage of them. He basically threw me under the bus and told everyone I was the whole mastermind behind this operation. Nice friend he was.

It has been a week since I heard from Ashley. I kind of expected her to come and visit me. She was the one, after all, to put me in this disgusting place. I never thought in a million years that Ashley would be the one to send me to jail. I had wrapped around my finger. How did it go so wrong?

I remember the first day I kidnapped her. She wasn't afraid of me like the others always were. She cared about me. I never had anyone care about me before. Every day with Ashley was something different. I really did have feelings for her. She tried to change me and if we are being honest, I wanted to change. However, my mother abused me for years and years. She planted a seed of abuse and violence in me that, no matter how many people try to get it out, they can't. I really do commend Ashley for trying. No one ever tried for me before. It felt nice to have someone who cared about me. I know Ashley doesn't believe I loved her, but I really did. I loved her in my own version of love. I loved her the way I knew how.

I am not the type of person to stay in a committed relationship. I much rather be on my own. I wanted to move in with Ashley because, at the time, I loved her but then when we actually moved in together I felt trapped. I felt confined. I needed an escape and that's when I called up James and we kidnapped Lauren. Kidnapping is what makes me happy. What makes me safe. What makes me content. I can't live without it. It's basically the air that I breathe. I needed to get out of the house and go back to my normal life. I did feel bad for doing it because I knew what it would do to Ashley but I needed it. I didn't care about the people I had to hurt. This is what I know.

The tv shows and movies make jail seem much more fun than it is. Day after day is the same. I get woken up at 6 in the morning, have the same meal for breakfast every day, get assigned a job, do my job until lunchtime, which is the same every day, go outside for two hours, come back in, read in my cell until dinner, shower, sleep. It is so boring. Plus, this orange jumpsuit does not look good on me. Whoever invented prison orange needs to go to prison.

Today, however, when I was outside after lunch, one of the prison guards tells me I have a visitor from my sister Evie. I found it weird because I don't have a sister named Evie. When I was being led to the visitors' room, I knew it had to be Ashley. Who else could it be?

My suspicion was made clear when I saw Ashley sitting behind plexiglass. The guard unhandcuffed me and patted me down. I smirked at Ashley just to get her annoyed.

Once the guard was done, I sat down and picked up the phone. "Well, well, well. What do I owe a visit from 'Evie' for."

"Cut the crap, Zayn. It's over. You're in jail." She said back.

"Really, no way. Thanks for telling me, sister." I said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes. "Good to see you haven't changed."

In the silence, I took on her appearance. She had her hair in a bun, no makeup, a pink sweatshirt, and jeans. She was really one of the more pretty girls I kidnapped. She always looked stunning. Even when she was all skin and bones and her body was covered in mud and her hair was all messy. She was gorgeous. No matter what she looked like or what I did to her, she always had a smile on her face. Her smile could light up any room and it tried to lighten my soul.

"Why are you here?" I snapped. I can't let her know how I really feel about her or how I felt about her. I need to keep a tough act.

"I don't know, honestly. But I know this is a mistake."

"Then why come? Why waste your time here with the man you put behind bars? You just wanted to rub it in, didn't you? That you're out there and I'm stuck in here." I don't know why she came but I'm kind of glad she did. It can get pretty lonely in here.

"Believe it or not Zayn, I loved you. What I did was for you and for the safety of the people. When you're behind bars, no one else can get hurt." Like I said before, I can't believe Ashley was the one to put me behind bars. I never expected her to be the one too. I expected it to be one of the other girls I abducted.

"No. The reason you called the cops on me was because you are scared of me. This was always your intention." I know she was never scared of me. I just wanted to get angry. It's fun seeing her all riled up.

"I loved you, Zayn. Too bad I couldn't get you to believe that. And for your information, I was never scared of you."

"And for your information, I never loved you." I didn't want to say that. I did love her but I can't love anyone. I don't know how. To be honest, I'm not sure if I even loved her at all. I knew I had some type of feelings for her but was that love?

I can tell Ashley was hurt by what I said. She clenched her jaw like she did a week ago and said into the phone, "I'm glad to see you're still the same. Have fun rotting in jail you psychopathic kidnapper." She hung up after that. I was then taken away by the guard and brought back to my cell.

Once I was in my cell, I thought about our conversation. Something in my gut feels wrong about leading her on and telling her I never loved her. That is the worst thing to ever say to someone.

Laying on my cot and staring up at the ceiling, I thought about the time in the garden with her. She was the first girl I ever brought up there. The first girl I ever kissed there. I really did mean it when I said she was special. She really was. No girl has ever affected me like she did. She really was different. I liked that about her. I like that she challenged me. I like that she forced me to change. I appreciate all that she has done for me. But at the end of the day, I am a monster with no heart and no love.

About three hours later, dinner was being served. For the first time since I have been here, I didn't want to eat. All I kept thinking about was Ashley. I pushed the food around on my plate until it was time to clean up. I showered and let the water try to wash me away.

It was around nine at night when I got a call from the police in London and they told me someone broke into my house and destroyed everything. I knew it could have been only one person;

Ashley.