Whirlpool | The Scortch Trials- Newt

The First Time

CHAPTER TWELVE

[TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM]   

NEWT

For a while we just sit in silence, our minds still jumbled and numbed with the information I've just received and the task that lays before me.

I let out a small bitter laugh before I can stop myself.

Addie looks at me questioningly. The tip of her nose is still rimmed red.

"Just thinking what we'd thought the outside world would've been, and then your plans and what it actually turns out to be."

Addie chuckles bitterly too. She relaxes into me and I wrap my arms around her waist, slipping my fingers under her shirt and stroking her waist slightly.

"I've always thought that maybe somehow I've pissed God, that's why maybe, life is so bad with me, and now I've realized that you all are in it too."

"What a world!"

"What a world." She copies me. "But on a serious note, what do you think will happen on our quest?" she mimics my accent.

"I will be shucked if I knew. But it was won't he sunshine and daisies, for all I know." She falls silent for some time.

Maybe she went to sleep. I don't move even for a bit. I don't want her to wake up. She must get all the sleep that she need before tomorrow.

"Newt?"

"Hmm?" I am surprised that she wasn't asleep. Then again, her and sleep doesn't have much of a healthy relation. I relax my hold on her and she sits up straight, looking at me.

"Do you remember your parents?"

I think for a while. "Yeah, yeah, I think so. I-I remember my mom's face. She looked just like me- blond hair and nose and all and she has blue eyes, around thirty I guess. And my dad has dirty yellow hair and green eyes, full face. I remember them... telling to me that I needed to be strong."

My throat starts to close up and clear my voice. "And I remember....gunshots and screams and then my parents... their blood on me and they were.... dead, I guess. That bit is a bit hazy to me."

Addie engulfs me into a hug, holding the back of my head against the crook of my neck.

I swipe at my eyes but the tears come out anyway. I feel the all familiar feeling of emptiness in my chest. The first time I'd remembered my parents, was the first time I'd tried to harm myself. I remember running to the bathroom and puking all over. Then after a few days, I remember slipping a blade from Alby and then sitting deep into the Maze, while my run and scratching my skin.