Say I Never Mattered | A Sooshu Fan-Fiction

chapter fifteen

a/n:

i did a bunch of editing on this story because i wasn't happy with writing it the way it was before. i hope you all took the time to re-read because i threw in a lot of new details.

now that i feel more content with writing this, be prepared to see more of me in the future ;)

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As I descended my stairs in the darkness with only the flashlight on my phone to guide me, I felt myself beginning to become increasingly terrified of what could be waiting for me. I watched my feet as I scurried through the halls of my huge house. I don't exactly know why my parents decided to upgrade in size considering there's only a few people who live here. There's me, of course, my parents, my brother, now Soojin, and our gardener, housekeeper, and chef live in our guest home.

Okay, I guess the size of the house does make sense, never mind. Forget what I said.

I made my way out to our indoor pool and saw that the cover was off from a distance. I tilted my head for a moment in confusion before heading over to the door. I turned the light on and saw Soojin swimming around under the water.

"What are you doing awake? It's three in the morning," I said to her when she came up for air.

Soojin looked perfect. She always did, but without her bangs in her face, something hit differently. I turned the light off and walked over to the side of the pool, taking off my socks and throwing sitting them down beside me before rolling up my pajama pants and dipping my feet into the warm water.

"I couldn't sleep, I figured this might wear me out," Soojin said as she swam over to me. She put her arms up on the ledge and looked up at me innocently. I tried my best to avoid looking at her chest as she spoke to me, but it was nearly impossible.

"I couldn't sleep either," I said. "Thank God it's Sunday because if this were a school night I'd be fucked."

"This is pretty typical for me, if I'm honest," Soojin said to me. She laid her head down on her arms with her face turned toward me. "Anxiety and insomnia mixed together are not a good combination."

"Not at all," I laughed, causing her to laugh. It was melodious, hearty, and honestly? The thought of being the person that makes her laugh everyday for the rest of our lives is something that both excited me and yet feels so distant.

"You should get in with me," Soojin smirked. "It might be fun."

"Let me go get my bathing suit," I said before she grabbed my hand, sending shivers up my spine. "What?"

"Just get in like this. You have a bra on, right?" She said to me, completely deadpan.

I was taken aback, "Are you serious? Like this?"

"If you don't I'm just going to pull you in anyway so you may as well just do it," Soojin said.

Realizing she was serious when she tugged at my arm, I rolled my eyes and took my shirt off slowly, almost as if to tease her. I slid my pants off slowly as well, taunting her. I could tell she was trying to hide it by giving me a poker face, but the blush on her cheeks indicated that she felt otherwise. I grimaced at her as I lowered myself in the pool, mocking her request for me to join her. "Are you happy?" I asked her, sitting on my knees in the shallow end of the water while she began to swim at the deep end.

"Yes, I am," Soojin said, turning her body to face me. She swam over to me and as she was doing so, she said, "You know you look really good right now, right?"

I stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded. "What?" I asked her.

"I was basically in love with you when we were kids, you know," Soojin said to me, giving me butterflies. She swam around me and sat down across from me the same way I was. It was a bit uncomfortable on my ankles but I didn't let that stop me.

"What about when we were fighting?" I asked her, biting my lip. I was shocked and confused but I needed to know the answer.

"It was even worse then. I think part of the reason why I was so upset that you were jealous and why I lashed out is because you didn't even notice that I was so into you and not your brother," Sujin laughed. "That's in the past now, though. We're not exactly on the best terms now but I'm happy that we're at least talking sometimes."

"Are you sure it's in the past?" I asked her suspiciously. "You seemed awfully upset when you saw me with Soyeon at her party."

Sujin stared at me for a moment in astonishment at my intrepidity, "That was forward."

I got up off my knees and swam over to the deep end, steadying myself in the water, "Yeah, I know it was."

Sujin swam over to me and asked, "Do you want me to be honest?"

"What kind of question is that?" I scoffed.

"I honestly don't know if it's in the past or not," Sujin admitted to me, swimming away from me afterward and sitting down with her legs out in front of her in the shallow end.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest at this confession. For every year I've spent imagining what this moment would be like in my head, I never thought that it would've went down like this. Is this really happening? I don't even know if this is actually happening.

I swam over to the shallow end and sat a bit farther away from her, my legs crossed, "I had no idea you were into me then."

"Unfortunately, I did and it tore me apart. I couldn't tell you because I didn't think you liked me back," Sujin chuckled.

"Trust me, you weren't the only one," I laughed.

"What do you mean by that?" Sujin asked me, standing up in the water and walking over to me.

When Sujin sat down next to me, I felt myself become a bit more apprehensive. "Sujin-,"

"I hate when you say it like that, I wish you'd just use what everyone else calls me," 'Soojin' rolled her eyes at me.

"Says the one that got irritated when I told people to start calling me by my first name instead of one of my stupid nicknames," I chuckled at her. "Don't be ridiculous. It's a one-letter difference and they sound almost the same."

"'Su' and 'Soo' sound way different," Sujin stared me down. "Seriously, just say 'Soojin.'"

"Make me," I smirked at her.

"Are you serious right now?" Sujin stared me down once again.

"There's literally nothing you can do to stop me," I kept smirking at her, causing a blush to eventually appear on her face.

"Oh yeah?" Sujin toyed with me. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, it is," I raised a brow at her.

Sujin grabbed the side of my face and pulled me in to kiss her. I felt the heat of thousand suns between us and yet I was more confused than I'd ever been in my life. I kissed her back and she placed both hands on my face, pulling me in further.

Remembering what I had going with Soyeon, I pulled away from her and moved away from her, "I can't be doing this."

"You told me to make you, so I did," Sujin shrugged.

I swallowed. Hard.

"I didn't mean like that!" I exclaimed, standing up and getting out of the water.

"What, like you didn't enjoy that?" Sujin watched me as I got out and walked over to my clothes. "I saw what you were doing earlier when you were taking your clothes off. You were fucking with me and you knew it."

I played dumb, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." Sujin scoffed. "Just call me Soojin, seriously. I proved my point."

Soojin it is, then.