Say I Never Mattered | A Sooshu Fan-Fiction

chapter twenty-two

"I don't want us to beef!" I exclaimed to Chenghan as I followed him around our house, trying to get him to speak to me.

"I don't like your new attitude, Shuhua," Chenghan said as he continued to walk away from me.

"At this point we're wandering the house, can you just talk to me?" I asked him.

"I do not want to talk to you, seriously," Chenghan said, turning around to face me.

"I know you don't but I want to talk to you and I need my older brother right now," I said, pleading with him.

Chenghan looked at me for a moment and sighed, "Fine." I sat down on the floor where he was standing and he said to me, "I didn't think we'd be having this conversation here, but alright."

He sat down across from me and I laughed, "I didn't feel like walking any more than we already had."

"Makes sense," he shrugged. "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

I looked in his eyes for a moment and asked him, "Why am I getting bad energy from you right now?"

"That's how you want to start this conversation?" Chenghan asked.

"I can't put into words what I mean by that but I know you know what I'm talking about. You feel some kind of way about me and I can feel it, we came from the same womb," I said to him.

"This is why I don't want to talk to you, you're so word-y," Chenghan rolled his eyes.

"No, don't do that right now. I know you have at least a little bit of depth inside of you," I said, crossing my arms.

"I do not want to do this right now," Chenghan said. "You can't force me to either, I won't be a hostage in my own house."

"Xiulan is dead, okay? We don't have any other siblings we can come to when shit gets bad between us." He broke eye contact with me and I said to him, "Look at me, Chenghan. We used to be best friends. We used to know everything about each other and the only times you've been nice to me within the past few years have been when you're looking for Soojin's approval. We used to be able to speak telepathically for fucks sake."

"Fuck, man," Chenghan said, turning back to me and revealing the tears in his eyes to me. He wiped them away and said, "You're right."

I sat up and pulled him in for a hug while we were still sat on the floor, "It's okay."

Chenghan cried into my shoulder for a more than a few minutes before pulling away from me and sitting back down. "Did I drive you away?" He asked me, wiping away his tears with his jacket.

"Do you want me to answer that question truthfully?" I asked him.

"I guess it sounds stupid now but I've been jealous of you for the longest time," Han said to me, chuckling after.

"How?" I scoffed softly. "We stopped being close because I was jealous of you."

"I know that, but it wasn't long after that I started becoming jealous of you," Chenghan said. "When we stopped being close, I became bitter at you because you were just fine without Soojin and I. You went on with your life like you didn't lose your two best friends meanwhile her and I were suffering without you."