Euphoria

14. No words

Yes hello I'm back.

Please do not do drugs. They are bad. Thanks.

Louis and zayn forgot the lyrics for Stockholm syndrome.

I love louis.

That's all.

(Sorry for any mistakes)
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It's raining, Liam's cold, and it's also 1 am.

Zayns currently half on top of him and he's drooling a bit. liam doesn't mind. He's on his stomach, looking out of the window and watching the rain. Zayns cuddling him and Liam feels this warmth inside him that he can only describe as love.

He loves zayn.

Sometimes he just thinks about it. He thinks about how much he loves him. Like zayn, oh my goodness how? How is he real? How? What? When? Where? Why? It baffles liam sometimes how perfect zayn is. He's smart and artistic and lovely and he's just such a beautiful person. He's beautiful inside and out and he's so humble and kind and-and-

Liam's at a loss of words

"I love you" Liam finds himself whispering and zayns sleeping but-

"Love you toooo" he cuddles closer.

-

"What's up with Harry's hair?"

"Yeah?"

Harry looks at Louis as if to ask too but he just rolls his eyes and squishes his cheeks.

"Nothing's wrong with it" he playfully glares at them all.

Everyone is at Liam's,and olive and zayns, flat because well.. Who knows. They ordered pizza and decided to have a night in. It's nice, hanging out with them like this, in the living room with everyone . Liam enjoys it, although it's still raining he finds it oddly relaxing. Kind of.

"I feel like Monica from friends" harry says flipping his hair dramatically. Louis groans and niall laughs. Of course he does.

"Uh anyways I'm bored lets do something other than talk about this ones hair" olive says loudly getting everyone's attention. Liam cuddles closer to zayn.

"Like what?" Niall asks from where he's sitting behind her. It's oddly suspicious, the way he's behind her and she's leaning into his chest. Hmm...

They all sit and think for a minute. Liam turns his head and looks at zayn. He immediately receives a kiss and he can't help but smile into it.

"Ugh ok I've got an idea" louis gets up and reaches in his pocket. He pulls it out and it's.. Oh my god.

"No absolutely not I disapprove nope no not now or ever no this is not happening get rid of it" Liam quickly interrupts what louis was going to say.

"Oh cmon we all need to loosen up a bit it'll be fine trust me" louis begs. Liam just shakes his head and crises his arms.

"Fine then you dot have too"

Oh god

-

He said he wouldn't but he did. They all did. This was probably, definitely, a bad idea.

Niall and olive can't stop laughing and rubbing their hands on the window that's in the living room.

Louis and Harry haven't stopped kissing. It's actually quite disturbing after a while. Liam watches for a while before grimacing when they pull away and there's some, a lot, spit on Harry's chin.

Him and zayn seem to be really relaxing. Although zayn lets out a random chuckle, they mostly stay seated, still close together.

Liam isn't sure how zayn feels but Liam feels .. Empty. He feels happy and calm and empty. Calm because he can't feel anything. Nothing is making him worry and he feels so free and relaxed. Liam feels great.

"I-I was seven ya know" he laughs a little. He's so calm.

"What?" Niall says from where he's in front of the window.

"I was s-seven when he first raped me" and suddenly its so quiet. Everyone's in front of him now and he doesn't feel so calm anymore.

"Babe-"

"I was seven?" Liam questions. He's not sure what he feels now.

"Oh god I was seven" he shakes a little.

"Seven" he whispers brokenly.

"No no no, no crying your ok see I'm here Liam" zayn is hugging him tight and he's suddenly anchored. He's himself again. He's calm.

"Sorry I just.. Seven? Why?" No one answers. They all just sort of look at each other and sigh sadly.

-

Liam wakes up the next morning slightly dizzy. Actually he didn't sleep. Actually yes he did, or no wait... He doesn't remember.

Harry and Louis are sleeping on the couch. Niall and olive still at the window except she's on top of him and drooling. And zayn is... Where's zayn?

"Zayn" he whispers.

Liam stands up and everything's a little slow. He's definitely never doing this again. Ever ever ever. His mouth feels dry and he can't find zayn.

He walks through the living room and into his and zayns room. Zayn is sitting, back to the door and hunched over a bit.

"Zayn?" Liam whispers, walking over and kneeling in front of him. His elbows are resting on his knees and he's covering his mouth with his hands, tears streaming down his face.

"Oh babe" Liam hugs him tight "what's wrong?" He pulls back to look at zayns face, his sad eyes staring ahead.

"You-" he takes a deep breath "you told us that-that he... He did... He did it when you were" he clears his throat "when you were seven" he chokes out.

Oooooooh

"Oh god I'm sorry I didn't-I mean I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to I guess I just-"

"No don't apologize it's just" Zayn tries swallowing the lump in his throat "how could someone do this" he looks at Liam and oh god. He looks so sad and hurt and Liam hopes he never sees this again. Hopes he never sees the sad, teary eyes of zayn Malik.

"I.... I don't know" Liam's not sure what to say because well.. What can you say?

"I just-I love you so much" Zayn cries and oh my god this breaks his heart.

"I know" he kisses him "I know but I'm ok and you shouldn't cry-I mean I know it's bad but" Liam takes his hands in his "we're here now and I love you so much" he kisses him hard.

They hug. For a long time. Liam doesn't mind that much. He loves zayn.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

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[i. Love. You. All. So. Much.]

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