Euphoria

Prologue

here we go!

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it was tough. Actually that's an understatement. It was more like having weight around your ankles and trying to run away from a vicious animal. Yeah.. Something like that.

He remembers waking up in the hospital. It hurt to blink, breath, speak.. His mother was sitting next to him and his sister next to her. They were quiet and so was he. Not even glancing at them. He remembers the cops coming in and questioning him. They asked lots and lots of questions. He remembers crying and at one point it got so bad that he started choking and a couple of nurses has to come in.

He was there for a week. A tortuous 7 days. His mother picked him up and they were off. His neighbors were giving him sad looks as he slowly limped his way to the door. He was panicking already and he hadn't even reached the front door yet. He had reached for the front door but stopped. It all came back and he found himself tumbling to the ground and panting for air.

Days and days of hearing apologies from his sister. She would cry and say sorry and blame herself but he would just sit there. What more could he do? Everything he had was taken away.. There was nothing left of him.

Weeks passed and he didn't go to school. Hell he didn't even leave his room. He didn't eat or sleep. How could he? He was just kind of there. And no one seemed to really care. The nicks at his door stopped after a week of him not answering. But then they became bangs when you could hear his screams and sobs for help. And they would find him sweating and crying with his arms scratched to the point where they would bleed.

He was a complete mess. Everything in that house reminded him of what happened. He couldn't do anything without shaking and heaving and throwing up and crying. Being there was not good for him. He would have horrible vivid nightmares.. Of him touching and whispering and breathing and he would scream for what seemed like hours.

Weeks and he was getting worse an worse. The cuts were multiplying and would often spend his time in his bathroom watching his blood turn his bath water red. It fascinated him and it distracted him for a bit. Only for a bit though.

As time went on he found himself getting more desperate to take the pain and thoughts away. His first attempt was hanging himself but he was to much of a coward. His second attempt was cutting but they found him.

He was in the hospital for a week. It was pure hell.

When he got out he decided he needed something else. So he went out. He met some lovely men who said they would give him something that'll make him forget for a while.

Cocaine
Heroin
Weed
Cigarettes
Alcohol

He tried everything. Anything to make him forget even for a little while.

At times he would get so frustrated he would yell and scream at his mother and sister. They would just lock themselves in their rooms. "It's just another one of his tantrums" really? Are you kidding me?!

They don't understand how difficult it is for him to wake up and basically be alive. They don't understand what he's going through. What he has to do to himself in order to survive.

And one night he just couldn't take it. So he swallowed a nice cocktail of pills. All different shapes and sizes. And he remembers feeling like he was floating. He also remembers throwing up but after the throwing up he felt like he was floating. Everything was blurry and muffled and it was great.

And then he was gone

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[ sooo... This is kind of like.. I don't know what do you think? Is it good? ]