Euphoria

17. Back to start

This is so fucking shitty but please please PLEASE read the AN. At the end it's important (to me at least)
((Also read the AN first if your confused about the video))
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"I-it's like I'm leaving the center all over again" Liam tries to joke weakly. He takes a deep shuddery breathe and rubs his hands on his thighs.

"Baby.. What happened?" Zayn can those the fact that he's worried. Liam's been gone for a week and not under good circumstances. Zayn feels as though he hasn't slept in years and he's sure his appearance shows that.

"I-they said it was.. Uh k-kind of like a breakdown o-or something" Liam shrugs, lips quivering slightly.

"Babe it's ok"

"No no it's really not zayn" Liam's so aggravated with himself at this point. He was doing great and then this comes out of no where.

"It-it's just that I worked my ass off to get better! I worked so hard and then.. This just. Fuck! I was doing good I was great and now everything is shit!" Theres a steady stream of tears down his cheeks. Zayn holds him tighter and wipes them away.

"Listen to me" he takes hold of Liam's chin "I. Love. You. Okay? It's ok that this happened, you went through something horrible and I'm here for you" liam nods "your gonna have your moments like this and it's perfectly ok because I'll be by your side through it all" he kisses him softly.

Liam's still crying a little but there's a tiny smile on his lips.

"I love you so so much" he whispers

"I love you too"

-

Things don't go so well because a couple of night later liam has a nightmare. It's worse. Zayn and olive try their best to call him but at one point he runs in the bathroom and locks himself in.

"Liam open the door please" zayn calls desperately through the door.

"N-no I don't want you get away from me!"

Zayn wishes these things wouldn't happen. He knows Liam's not himself right now but that doesn't stop his chest from tightening upon hearing those words.

"Baby it's ok it's only me its zayn please open the door" he tries calmly but then Liam's screaming and all he can hear is things falling and something breaking.

"Liam open the door!" There's not response so he tries for knocking the door down.

Liam's standing inside, bloody hands and shaking. It's a terrifying sight but zayn has to be as calm as possible so liam doesn't get even more scared.

"Baby.. It's alright-it's ok I'm right here" but Liam is still standing there staring at his shaking bloody hands. His face is pale and blank and zayns a little scared because this is usually the part in movies where the demon takes over and kills him. Which obviously that won't happen but he's still terrified a little.

Liam looks up though and his lip is trembling and tears are pooling in his eyes and he looks so scared.

"It's ok it's ok" zayn quickly pulls him into a tight hug and holds him while his body shakes with sobs. He's glad Olive isn't home because she'd be just as scared.

"Come on let's get going ok" the doctors had told him to take him to the hospital every time this happened. They've gone at least 6 times in the past few days.

Zayn feels helpless sometimes

-

"Ok so we think it would be best if Liam spends a little more time here" the doctors say and zayn feels-he feels like he could be doing something to help.

"But-but I-I-"

"Mr.malik this will help I can assure you" he's got a kind smile on his face but that doesn't help really "this will be good for him" and then he's handing him papers to fill out and leaving.

And just like that their back to square one

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[this is shitty literally I'm so sorry I promise I'll get back on this as soon as I can but let me tell you something really quick.

I've recently been really stressed(as you all know) it's gotten to the point where my back aches constantly, basically to the point where I can't breathe it's literally so painful. I've gone to the doctor and they've given me medication and coincidentally (not) they sent me to therapy once again. I'm saying this because it's EXTREMELY important to take care of yourselves.

If your ever feeling overwhelmed please talk to someone or even me if you have to. Your health is way more important than anything. Else.

If your stressed I recommend getting away from the problem for a while and trying to relax. What I usually do is watch some ASMR videos.

(ASMR)Autonomous sensory meridian response is a neologism for a perceptual phenomenon characterized as a distinct, pleasurable tingling sensation in the head, scalp, back, or peripheral regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, or cognitive stimuli.

So basically like.. Well it's kind of like a series of tingles you feel from your head all the way to your toes. I love love love ASMR videos because they relax me.

Things that can cause you these tingles are like gentle whispering or when someone plays with your hair or if your brushing your face with your makeup brushes. Things like that can cause you to feel these sort of tingles.

I added a video so if you want to check it out.

Here's some YouTubers
I recommend:
- whisper lily
-theUKASMR
-TheOneLilium

That all]