Call Me Ghost ✔️

Chapter Twenty-One

I examine the fading bruises on my cheek and arm in the mirror, running my fingers over the clear hand print that discolors my skin.

It's been nearly a week since the whole thing with Brody went down and I'm grateful that the marks he left on me are finally disappearing. I've been holed up in my room since it happened, not even going to classes. I know I'm screwing myself over, but the thought of going out and seeing people just makes me feel sick.

I know it doesn't make sense, but I feel like the moment people look at me they'll see how pathetic I am. They'll know that I cheated on my boyfriend. They'll know that I'm a terrible person. They'll know that I couldn't even fight back as Brody overpowered me once again.

I just feel so weak.

I had put off turning my phone back on for as long as I could, but eventually I had to, and I was immediately met with over a dozen missed calls and twice as many texts from Ghost.

I looked through a few, but I didn't return his calls. All I've done is sent him a short text that said I was okay and that's it.

For the first few days he kept trying to get a hold of me, but at some point a few days ago he just stopped. I haven't heard from him since.

I'm not sure how I feel about it.

I feel bad icing him out for so long, and I understand if he's frustrated with me, but I just need time to clear my head and mentally recover from everything Brody did.

I also don't feel like I deserve Ghost's comfort. I got myself into this mess, it's not his job to always come to my rescue, even if that's how this whole relationship started.

But I miss him. I've grown so used to having him around, that spending nearly a week without even talking to him has felt impossible.

I don't want to ruin our friendship. I don't want to burn my last bridge. That's not being fair to him. I know I need to suck it up. I need to face him and have a difficult conversation. We need to figure out what we both want. If I'm even stable enough to have anything with him at this point.

So I shower, and I apply my makeup because somehow that makes me feel less like I'm an empty shell. I put concealer over the pale bruises on my cheek and the dark circles beneath my eyes. I keep my hair loose and curly, embracing it's natural look because I know Ghost likes it so I should too.

I throw on baggy clothes, because admittedly I've eaten maybe one full meal in the past week and it's showing. I don't need that extra concern from Ghost, so it's best to keep that hidden.

When I'm done getting ready I wish I could say I feel completely better, but I don't. I feel like I'm putting on a mask just to step into the real world.

I shoot Ghost a text, asking if he can meet up to talk. While I wait for a reply I leave my bedroom and walk into the kitchen, hoping that looking through the fridge will stir up some kind of appetite.

I pause when I find Annie sitting at the counter, eating a bowl of pasta while scrolling through her phone. When she hears me enter, though, she immediately sets it down and gives me her full attention.

Her eyes are full of concern and confusion as she remarks, "You're up. Are you feeling better today?"

As far as she knows I've been sick with a stomach bug all week. I'm slightly surprised that she seems to care so much and I send her a small, reassuring smile.

"Yeah, kind of."

"Are you going somewhere?"

I glance at my phone. Still no reply. I shrug at Annie and mutter, "Maybe. Ghost hasn't answered my text yet."