The Revival of The Force

52 remembering

52 remembering

Left, then right. Yugantar can't chose on which side he should sleep. The back or the stomach? Everything just seemed so uncomfortable, every pressure of the mattress against his body just felt too hard. Usually, as soon as he falls asleep, it's like there isn't any gravity. Maybe it's trying to tell him something, maybe this night is destinies to heal him. All those memories, he tries to forget them and just put them aside in his thoughts. But there were only rare nights where he didn't dream of the days and nights where he ran and ran and ran. Or from when he was found in the market and the Empire tried to capture him. They managed to, they – No. he couldn't think about it, it's still painful. Like an endless wound, crossing all his back and just won't, won't heal. It always tears open and the blood comes out again, running down and colouring all the clothes and sheets. Is it even able to heal? Maybe he will just stay like this forever. Tonight, he will try to. At least that's something, a step forward. Even though this is all he avoided the last years, Yugantar opens the borders to his memory and lets them free. Flashes succumb under his eyelids, shadows and clear images. He loses consciousness and the memories start to fall.

The little boy entered the small town, looking for somewhere to hide for the next few weeks. Changing families every few weeks, the boy had made up principles. He invented a different name every time, he was surprised to even remember his real one. A little market opened up to him at the next corner where women bought their food. He walked closer and looked up to them. His shoes were ruined and the wet mud entered in his socks. He looked miserable and the different persons would feel pity. One tall woman, with long and purple hair, pink skin, huge dark blue eyes, stared down to him. Her big eyes widened even more and she started speaking in a language that the boy didn't understand. She seemed to notice and changed to his language with many pauses and a few mistakes. Yes, he wanted to come with her. Only in a couple of minutes, she held him by her hand and brought him to her house. A man was waiting for her, but not for this boy. With his hands who looked like feet, he hit the table. The man walked to the woman and gave her a clout. The boy wanted to let her hand go and run away, but she held on to him tighter. After satisfying himself hitting her, with an incredible slow speed, he kneeled down to the boy. The scare already covered his eyes and made his whole body tremble. The sweat made him feel so hot, but a cold shiver ran down his back. And the man pulled him up in his arms and walked him through the room. He even looked nice if that smile with dark teeth and saliva running out wouldn't turn into a pervert need of power. Suddenly, the boy felt his body flying, the man's hand left him in a rush and he felt the bang against his head and all his limbs. He threw him on the wall. He came closer and took him back, threw him away again and repeatedly did what the boy would never forget. The woman didn't even say a word, the tears left her eyes and her hand in front of the mouth stopped a muffled cry. When finally, the man stopped and let the unconscious boy on the ground. The next thing he remembered was waking up and running away. And there he was, following him, but he could never catch him with these fat legs with hands on the extremity, so he ran and ran –

Yugantar jumps up in his bed. No, no, he doesn't want to remember this man that – He didn't just played this memory back. Calming down, Yugantar realises how extremely tired he is. He lies back and the next memory doesn't even give him time to rest. No calm before the storm.

The teenager didn't fully understand what the man said since the street was so busy with vehicles and the talk of people. Something about Empire and arrest. The man had a gun in his hand, pointing it at the teenager's head. He was way taller than him, the man looked down to the teenager that his eyes seemed closed. As ordered, he lifted his hands up and let himself be taken away. Everything turned dark and when the light penetrated his eyes again, it was so bright that the teenager remained with his eyes shot. That is also when he realised that he was scared and terrified of what those people knew about him. Would they take him back to the palace? Would his family punish him? Shivering and trembling, the teenager wanted to go out of this chair which he was lying on. His hands and legs were tied, there was no way to escape. With his broken voice, he screamed and screamed until some machine was put before his mouth. He promised to himself that he would never go back to his family, unless he truly wanted it. But now, no, he didn't want to see them all again. A man gave him information but the teenager didn't understand a word, all the noises were muffled and it all seemed so distant. The door slides open and another person entered, purple skin and scars all over his face. He talked to him, but the teenager didn't understand, or he just didn't want to. But what he noticed was that there was no mentions of his family name. He talked about strength and force, for what though? The strange machine left his mouth and the teenager deducted that he was supposed to say something. But he kept his mouth shut. The man raised his voice, the teenager still stayed motionless and silent. His eyes got used to the bright light, so he was able to see the man stretch out his hand in front of the teenager's face. Suddenly, his head was pulled towards the hand and it felt like it wanted to grasp the entirety of who he was. But he won't let that happen ever, a wall built itself around his mind. The man let go and grunted in frustration. The next thing that the teenager felt was a tight pressure against his throat, someone was chocking him, but no hands were around neck. He gasped for air and he heard himself say "Please," but it didn't stop. The teenager could feel the life leaving him and the need of oxygen intensify. But then it stopped, so abruptly, his head banged against the metallic chair he was sitting on. He gasped for air and felt the pain still throbbing around his throat, he knew that he would come back and it might be soon, but –

Yugantar gasps for air. The Sith from Florrum, that was when he saw him for the first time. But the flashback has stopped before it got better. Yugantar managed to mind control Stormtroopers and escaped the ship he was on. They were still on the ground, he hadn't been there very long. Yugantar can still feel the pain around his throat. The wall he build has been there until when he broke it with Finn. He knows that whenever this kind of attack will come again, he will be ready to build it up again. Plus a trauma, he found himself with this red lightsaber in a belt pocket. He realises that there is still so much more that he will have to remember, but he wants to keep that farer away. Even though Yugantar is sitting, he feels a weight coming down to him.

That house, the biggest he had ever found. Maybe this could be a home for so much longer than all the others. He would only have to be more careful that no one discovered him. The man had found clothes in wardrobes and beds, a kitchen where he could prepare the hunted animals. Few months have passed now and the man still lived there, feeling better than ever. No one has found him yet, the house or castle you could call it, was shut off from the world, next to a lake and mountains all around. This was pure luxury for the man and it was the first time he could call it a home. He went into the kitchen with a dead animal around his shoulders, he had just hunted for a few hours to get this animal killed with bow and arrow. But he stood still as a man was in the kitchen. Only seeing his back, the man noticed the blue shadows around him and the brown gown. He had longer, wavy hair. With an excessive slowness, he turned around. Older than him, but still looking very young, the visitor had a smile on his face. But there wasn't any sign of greed or hate, it was a real smile. He introduced himself, Anakin Skywalker, he added that he didn't want to harm him. He said that he loved Padme Amidala, who was the man's grand aunt. Anakin also talked about the twins he had got. He said something like the force is strong with the man. He still hadn't moved and just stared at Anakin, who knew that he was an Amidala. Anakin repeated that he didn't want to harm him, but it didn't change anything about his attitude. So he tried to comfort him, saying not to worry, that someone would find him and he would be able to become a jedi. The man didn't understand anything and let his animal down. Anakin disappeared, like he was never there. He just turned to air in an instant. Maybe the man was dreaming and there never was anymore, maybe –

Stop, enough. This last memory doesn't hurt as much as the others, but Yugantar knows he will not be able to survive another one. Sleeping is no solution, since the memories will resurface, so he stands up and leaves his room.