#WUM19
I feel suddenly exhausted from everything I heard. I was disappointed knowing all that, they didn't trust me ever since? Ako lang iyong umasa na nasa tamang circle ako, nakakalungkot pero wala akong magagawa kung ganoon ang tingin nila sa akin.
It's just sick.
Heavy-hearted, I was walking straight to go back but my steps slowed down as I saw Ajax on the path. He was all smiles when I met his eyes, he seemed excited for some reason while I didn't know what to do nor react.
Tumutugtog pa ang Epicenter sa stage, bakit siya nandito? Wrong timing, wala akong gana sa pakikinig sa kakulitan niya ngayon.
Tinuloy ko ang paglalakad at lumapad iyong ngiti niya pero nilampasan ko siya. Mabigat man ang pakiramdam, wala akong pakealam ngayon dahil hindi naman 'to gagaan. Kailangan ko lang ng space mag-isa at ayaw ko siyang idamay.
"Pucha," pabulong niyang reaksyon pero humabol sa paglakad ko. "Are you drunk?"
I shook my head.
"Tipsy?" he added, walking beside me while crouching a little to check my face. "You look pale. Nahihilo ka ba?"
I shook my head again and glanced. Nakakunot iyong noo niya at halatang nag-aalala, ang bilis magbago at magpakita ng emosyon niya.
Nilihis ko ang tingin. "Wala ako sa mood makipag-usap."
"Anong bago?" bahagya siyang natawa. "Lagi ka namang wala sa mood pero bakit mo in-inform ngayon? May nangyari ba?"
"Just... shut up," I coldly said.
Instead of coming back to the table, I found myself walking away from the open bar. Diretso ang lakad ko at hangin ang tumatakbo sa isip, ramdam kong nakasunod si Ajax pero nahihinto siya dahil sa mga nakakapansin sa kanya at lumalapit na taga-hanga ng kanilang banda.
I didn't care until I couldn't feel him anymore. Malayo na ako sa open bar, hindi ko alam kung saan ako magpapalipas ng oras pero naglakad lang ako sa dalampasigan. Dahil gabi na at madilim, wala nang gaanong tao sa ibang parte ng beach.
My chest tightened more and more as the thoughts started ringing in my head.
How about L? Does she also think I'm an attention seeker in their circle? Wala rin namang nasasabi si Forest sa akin noon pero lumabas ngayon ang totoo, ganoon din siguro si L at pinag-uusapan nila ako pag nakatalikod. After all, they were the first group of friends.
I sucked in a deep breath, I saw a log bench and sat there when I felt my ankle stung a bit. I wasn't sure how far this part was but I could barely hear the loud music now, only the sound of the wave as it hit the shore. I straightened my legs and put my palms on the log on my both sides, drawing out a sigh.
Inis ako at frustrated.
Sana kahit papaano may matira akong kaibigan. Sana hindi ako itaboy ni L kaso malabo kung iisipin. Forest is her childhood best friend.
Bahagya akong natawa sa sariling sagot.
When this night ends, I'll be alone for sure.
I heard a heavy sigh from the side that made me turn in surprise, I saw Ajax standing there while hands in his pockets. My heart twitched, I glared. He looked tired but eyes were determined, he gradually stepped while looking at me as he gestured to zip his lips.
I looked at the dark part of the sea to avoid his eyes. Naramdaman ko ang pag-upo niya sa buhanginan at sinandal ang likuran sa log bench sa tabi ko, naka-bend iyong isang tuhod at pinatong ang braso roon. I could hear his tired heavy breathing as he craned his neck.
