#WUM36
Ajax was teary-eyed when I told him about Hera, and where did I get the scratches on my face. I told him the truth about Hera's death too. And even Hera's importance in my life as my only family. Kaya ganito ka-sama ang loob ko.
Pero hindi ko pa rin maamin iyong tungkol sa real parents ko at iyong pangloloko nila kay Hera pagkatapos silang bigyan ng chance na makilala ako at maibalik.
Hindi ko kaya.
My stomach was flipping at the thought of that. It was maddening. It was almost bringing me to the edge of pain that I'd want to feel numb every time I'd remember what they did.
It was too much. I couldn't handle that.
Nahihiya ako kay Hera. Nahihiya akong malaman pa 'yon ni Ajax. He'd just probably tell me again that I didn't deserve to feel that kind of pain and life, it would only anger me.
Naiinis na ako sa ganoong salita. Ayaw kong marinig dahil hindi naman nakakagaan sa pakiramdam.
I spent that night with him. Hindi ko matandaan kung ilang oras akong naglalabas ng sama ng loob sa kanya hanggang sa napagod akong umiyak.
"I won't promise some perfect thing, Sorcha. Kasi hindi naman ako perpektong tao o Super Hero na kayang gawin ang lahat para mapasaya ka pero hindi ka mag-isa, ha?" malambing niyang paalala habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko sa likuran. "Nandito ako, nando'n si Mama sa bahay."
Hindi ako nagsalita uli. I remained leaning on his chest. He feels like my breather right now. I don't want to let go.
Thinking about what he said didn't make me feel at ease. Pakiramdam ko ay kaya niya pa rin akong iwanan mag-isa. 'Yong tipong importante ako pero hindi sobra. Kulang sa assurance kaya mahirap maging kumportable.
Sa dumaang dalawang linggo, 'yon ang kinakatakutan ko habang pinipilit mag-focus sa sariling gigs kasama sina Jacques at mga kaibigan. Kahit pagod ako ay pinupuntahan ko si Ajax sa La Verde para lang makita siya. Madalas hindi niya alam.
Sa dalawang linggong 'yon din ay mas lalo kong nakikilala at napapanood kung paano siya sa labas. Mas lalo akong kabado. Ajax was so different when he was with his own crowd. He never seemed stressed and sad with them. He was so carefree and it made me anxious for some reason.
"Sorcha," Winter called delightedly. "Are you willing to be an artist? I really like your voice! And you have a pretty face that can capture the people!"
She always offers me that for who knows how many times now but I don't seem to be interested yet because I just want to be able to eat thrice a day. Nagagawa ko pa naman sa kita ko iyon sa pamamagitan ng gigs.
Hindi pa man nakasagot ay dinagdagan niya agad ang paunang sinabi.
"L mentioned that you wanted to be one and you needed more money! Why still doing gigs? I've been offering you to be a trainee in Presonous!"
Yeah, I wanted to earn more but it was surely slow. Ang gusto ko sa ngayon ay magtago lamang sa mga Ravañez gamit ang pera ni Hera kaso pati iyon ay hinahati ang isip ko.
Tumawa si Jacques. "H'wag mo pilitin—"
"Bakit, ha? Triggered ka?"
"Huh? Why would I be triggered?"
"Hmp! Of course, there are so many talents in Presonous that she might be interested in more than you!"
My brow arched a bit. More than him? When did I even get interested in Jacques?
"At hinihintay mo siya kung saang company niya gusto mag-settle para makapili ka na rin ng sa'yo?" pang-aasar ni Winter sabay tingin sa akin. "Sa Presonous ka na, Sori! Jacques' brother is one of us and I think he'll follow you instead!"
