#WUM48
We continued our private connection like that for the next few weeks until it became months after the day we kissed again. That day was still vivid on my mind. It felt like first time as we were so thirsty for the kisses we missed.
"Don't you see me as a grown man 'til now?" that was what he asked when I didn't do what he demanded.
I was brave when I heard him tell me to kiss him but upon looking into his eyes before kissing him, I just felt like I should be careful about this thing. I knew that he was demanding but it was still taking advantage of his feelings for me until now.
Parang deserve ko ba ang halik niya agad? Nahihiya ako. I've never been this embarrassed about a kiss! Kay Ajax lang ngayon dahil alam ko ang mga naiparamdam ko sa kanya.
Noon naman madalas ko siyang i-tease, bakit ngayon parang ang hirap?
"Sorcha," he called as he gently pinched my thigh. Doon nakalapat ang palad niya.
"Ajax, I'm thirsty for the kisses but you said do not take advantage of you-"
"I'm asking you," he probed while looking at me seriously. "Bata pa rin ba ako sa paningin mo hanggang ngayon?"
Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa nang iangat ko ang tingin sa mukha niyang ilang distansya lang sa akin. His eyes were so beautiful. The way he stares bring butterflies to my tummy.
Bata? Hindi.
I couldn't see him that way since the day we first fucked until he introduced me the real world and the things around us. Ajax might look naive but you wouldn't look at him the same way anymore after everything.
Hindi lang sa makamundong bagay kundi pati na rin sa buhay at mga karanasan. He even has a better judgment than me. He wasn't thinking about himself only but also the other people and things that he'd need in the future. I already knew that when he chose what he needed in life than the love he had for me - his dreams and goals.
And I realized it was right to choose his dreams because love could either wait or not. Whatever happens in the future, love is just anywhere. He can fall in love with anyone else but he can't make the dreams come to him without doing anything.
Alam niya sa sarili niya iyon kaya sigurado na rin siya sa kanyang pipiliin at pinili.
Halos isang minuto kaming nakatingin lang sa mga mata ng isa't isa. Kalaunan siyang nagtaas ng kilay at pinilig ang kanyang ulo pakanan pero nanatiling nakatitig.
"No, I don't see you that way..." I answered softly.
Ajax is definitely a grown man in my eyes. Even though he's younger, he's matured than his age and that makes me love him even more.
The realizations I had when we were apart made me think straight and clear. I was selfish and he was never, I was stupid and he was always practical. He made me feel the wind of reality—the wind that would never revolve just around me because it was running through—it would be my choice to stay on my ground and let it pass or be blown by it.
He smiled at my answer. Nagyuko siya ng ulo at humingang malalim saka muling inangat ang mga mata sa akin sa ganoong posisyon.
"Why can't you kiss me?"
Uminit ang mukha ko.
"Hmm? I said kiss me, Sorcha."
I swallowed. My throat felt dry.
"Why do you sound so dominant right now..."
Nakakakaba pala kapag siya na ang mas matapang sa amin. Pakiramdam ko bibigay ako agad pero ayaw ko naman magmukhang alipin.
