EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR

#19 Dealing with pain

Welcome back sidneetians!!
Chapter:20
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**Avni's POV**

< Dear Baby,

Today was a bad day for both , You and Me .. I was very very irresponsible and in the rage of my anger and grief... i almost lost you ... i m so sorry ... i knew i need to be careful but my mind clouded by other thoughts... but i know that its not an excuse ... and i m very guilty of what i did ... but its not just guilt that i have in ... its also something else ... something very uneasy ... it feels like i have a heavy stone on my chest ... my heart aches like anything... and that is all because of something your father did ... he hurted today... not physically but emotionally... but he is a good father and he loves u and he cares about u ... so even if he hurts me ... this won't spoil your and his relation ... i know u will grow up loving him ... and he too loves u ... so so so muchh ... so don't be mad at papa okay .. but u can mad at me coz i deserve it... >
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My writing was disturbed by the voice of Sam ... he cheerfully came running to me .. i told him about me being pregnant yesterday when i came back from hospital... and his excitement joy has no boundaries...
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Sam: what are u writing...

Avni: a journal for baby ...

Sam: really ... can i read it ??

Avni: no its baby's but i have one for yours too .... i wrote it when u were in my tummy ...

Sam: so can i read that ..

Avni: yes but not one ... once u are big enough to not just read but understand it ... i will give u the journal by myself..

Sam: hmm ... okayy .. Mumma can i tell my friends about the baby ...

Avni: what about keeping it a secret for now ...

Sam: okay ... but when will the baby come ... i can't wait...

Avni: *giggles* superr soon ..

Sam: is baby a girl or a boy ?

Avni: what do u want??

Sam: both ...
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He said as his eyes sparkled ... and i chuckled again ...
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Avni: no both ... u will have only one ... either a brother or a sister...

Sam: arey yeh kya koi ice-cream hai ... ki either i can chocolate or vanilla...
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A

nd i chuckled yet again ... and je pouted cutely...
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Sam: okay so i want a sister... coz then our family will have two boys and two girls... me and u in one team and papa and mu little sister in other ...

Avni: perfect...
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I said dreamily... but with a fear of Ri ... and then he went to play with Mayank and i laid down to rest ... after what i got to yesterday... i don't know how to react... Am i suppose to ignore or confront Ri ? I surely can't ignore it completely but neither do i have courage to confront him ... and even if i do .. he will come up with a story and then asked for apology and i will yet again have to forgive him ... i can't do anything that can effect my marriage... and now toh i have one more reason added to the list ... i thought plaming my tummy ... This situation has now become like a hole at my side ... which is deeper than i could ever think ... and even if a put all my efforts i can't fill it ... because this hole can't be filled of my own and i can't even let the other side know about it ...
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**Avni's POV**

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**Sid's POV**

Anaya: Papa when will we go bacl to mumma ...
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She asked resting his head on my chest ... and i sighed feeling the lack of words to answer this question... i have been dodging going back to Anu ... and since Anu's discomfort with my mom .. she didn't even asked to come here ... i assume she is better of with me there ... her lover might have visit him often so why does she even needs me ... so the Anaya part is what i m concerned of ... she misses her ... and she cries for her ... and heart aches looking at her ... i so want to let her go but i know that she afterwards have to leave her forever... Although in most of the cases Mother gets the custody... but i m sure that she won't be able to taka care of her alone... because once it comes to Riyaz V/S Anaya ... he is one she is gonna choose ... and i won't ever let that happen ... and also because of my selfish reasons i won't let her go with her ... he is more precious to me than my own life .. i wouldn't be able to live with her ...
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Anaya: PAPAA..
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She whines bringing me out of mu thoughts ...
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Sid: yess baby ...

Anaya: mumma ...

Sid: baby actually mumma is out for a work ..

Anaya: she is always gone somewhere ... she never stays with me ... does she loves me ...

Sid: she loves u but she has some other things to do too ... and vese bhi... we don't need mumma to do fun ... we both can do it ..

Anaya: How??

Sid: like i can ...

Anaya: u can ?
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She asked me curious and i tickled her little tummy in response ...
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Sid: i can tickle ..
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And she laughed and asked me to stop but i didn't until tears of happiness leaked from her eyes ... that is how i want to see her tears shed ... tears of laughter ... just then Mom came making my work easier...
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Anaya: Dadi .. save me from papa ...
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She said hiding behind her .. and i laughed admiring how she completely gets invisible behind mom ..
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Vibha: mere anaya ko koi tang nhi krega ...
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And anaya peeked from behind... poking her tongue out ... and i pouted cutely making her laugh even more ... This phase is definitely difficult... not just for me but for Anaya too but i m glad that my family supported me ... but thought of Avni worries me ... he left with that man Tommorow and i have no idea of what she is gonna do or how she is gonna deal with all this ... specially with a baby in womb....
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EOC

Taking divorce is a huge and hard decision ... and not everyone can make it ... specially when u have universe against u ...

Okay byeee ..