Just Breathe

Chapter 4

*Dan's POV*

Its been a week since Phil and I became official, I was waiting for him downstairs one morning he's usually up early but not today. I went up to his room he was still asleep, I sat on his bed and shook him gently "Phil? Its almost noon" I whispered, he groaned and opened his eyes and sat up he looked like he was in pain "Are you okay?" I asked "I don't know, I feel a little ill and exhausted" he said quietly, I put my hand on his forehead he didn't seem to have a fever "What is it?" I asked stroking his cheek "I feel really sore and ill" he said softly "Do you have your medicines?" I asked and he shook his head "I need to get them, that could be it" he said. I helped him get out of bed "Come on, you need to eat something then I'm taking you to the hospital" I said. After breakfast I helped Phil get into the car "We need to get your oxygen refilled too" I reminded him and he nodded "I don't like going to the hospital, my doctor isn't the friendliest face there" he explained "From what you've told me he sounds like a total ass" I said "Yeah he is" he laughed silently "Well I'd like to see him try to be rude to you. Besides I took care of your bills so now he can't deny you anything" I smiled squeezing his hand gently "By the way Phil, your condition.. How bad is it?" I asked nervously "The doctors and nurses are trying everything but its stage 4" he said softly "W-what did they say?" I asked trying to keep my voice steady "They said to keep coming in, and to take my medicines and they'll do everything they can, they even preformed surgery I told you about that" he sighed sadly. We reached the hospital and I helped Phil out of the car "Can you walk?" I asked him and he nodded, I held his hand intertwining our fingers. We went to the nurse at the the front desk, she recognized Phil "Here to see Dr. Morris, Phil?" She smiled "Yeah, I need to get my medicines and oxygen refilled" Phil said, she led us to his office. He was sitting there looking at something on his laptop, he was a tall man with light brown hair and a not so friendly face "Philip, and who's this?" He asked blankly "This is Dan, my boyfriend" Phil answered "Dan?" He asked, at first I was confused but then realized he probably expected my full name "Uh, Daniel, Daniel Howell" I said awkwardly and he nodded. "So what brings you here?" He asked "Well um I needed a refill on my medication and oxygen" Phil said nervously "And your medical bill?" He asked blankly "already taken care of" I said handing him a receipt which he studied "Right. Well I will get you the oxygen but I don't know about the medication" he said, Phil sighed it was a sad one it was an annoyed one. "His bills are paid, he needs his medicine" I spoke up "Well I am sorry I am afraid I can't do that" he said not sounding sorry at all "What the fuck? He needs it! What kind of doctor are you!?" I raised my voice, Phil squeezed my hand to calm me down a bit "One of the best doctors here, I can't give him medicines, he may use it for the wrong purposes" he said bitterly "He's not going to abuse them" I rolled my eyes "They are are seven strong medicines, I can't give them" what was this guys problem "Unless you want to lose your job, I'd advise that you listen to me" I said coldly "I will find a different doctor to get them for you" he said taking Phil's files. "He's so awful" I complained "Tell me about it, my medicines aren't even that strong he just needs to stress me out" Phil laughed silently "You need a new doctor Phil, this guy is an ass" I said "Don't worry about it Dan" he said wrapping his arms around my waist  hugging me "Phil he's awful you deserve a better doctor" I said "I can handle him Dan don't worry, there are plenty of nice nurses who help me out when he doesn't" he said "That's not good enough Phil, I love you okay, I don't want that doctor near you" I said sternly. "Philip Lester?" A female doctor said coming inside "I have your medicines here and your tank is refilled, free of charge to make it up for that other doctors behavior" she smiled "Thank you so much, also I needed a favor, I need a check up" Phil said.

"I'm afraid its bad news, you're started to get paralyzed. But on a better note it won't happen anytime soon" she explained, I looked at Phil, his eyes teared up "Is there anyway we  can prevent it?" I asked her squeezing Phil's hand "I can't say anything, there's no way to prevent it sorry" she said sadly. We left the hospital, Phil seemed quiet and in pain, I gave him support so he doesn't get tired "Don't forget to take your medicines as soon as we get home" I reminded him and he nodded "Dan? Will you still love me even when I'm very ill and can't walk?" He asked getting in the car "That's a silly question, of course I will" I smiled "But what about when I can't walk at all or do anything myself?" He asked softly "Then I will be right with you and will help you" I said, Phil gave me a small smile "Promise?" He asked "I promise babe. Forever" I smiled, he held my free hand and kissed it. "The reason I'm asking is because well my family gave up on me, and so did my ex" I looked at him, I could tell he wasn't ready to talk about his family yet so I asked about his ex "Well you see, I thought things were going great between us but then when I got diagnosed he um dumped me" he said looking down "What was his name?" I asked "Aaron" he responded "Well he's an asshole and an idiot for dumping you, I would never make such a mistake" I smiled. We reached home, Phil still looked upset I helped him to his room "Oh by the way, the clothes I ordered for you are here" I said hoping this will cheer him up, I ran to my room to get the bags and went back to Phil's room.

*Phil's POV*

"Are those the fancy givenchy clothes?" I asked when he came back with bags "Yes!" He said excited. He started showing me what he got as he put them away into the closet, "I got plenty of jumpers for you" he smiled showing them to me, I picked one out and put it on "I like this one a lot, I actually love all the clothes" I admit and his face lit up "Really?" He asked and I nodded "I think I'll wear this to sleep that's how much I love it" I laughed, Dan smiled at me he already changed into his pajamas "Dan? Will you stay with me tonight?" I asked nervously "Of course I will, what's wrong?" He asked "I just haven't slept well for a few days and I don't feel well emotionally" I whispered laying down on the bed, he laid down next to me "What's wrong?" He asked "I was remembering things, and Aaron just didn't dump me, he cheated on me, with my brother" I whispered "Phil that's awful" he whispered "My brother was 13 at that time, he didn't know what he did was bad but it hurt a lot" I sighed, Dan snuggled close to me "You're brave enough to tell me about your ex, I should tell you my story too" he whispered, i looked at him "He was awful, he hurt me a lot, I thought I could trust him and I told him about my family problems, but he was awful" he explained "Did he abuse you?" I asked and he nodded, my heart dropped "He would hit me if I ever spoke up to him, he'd hurt me a lot, he basically used me for sex and money" he said softly, I wrapped my arm around his waist "Did he force you?" I asked "Yes he did, I never wanted it, sometimes he'd just come in and you know.. It was hell when my grandma wasn't home. He threatened me with a knife too" he lifted his sleeve and exposed the scars on his wrist "But I finally turned him in" he said smiling slightly "Are you okay emotionally? Like if you were to be intimate?" I asked, I hope I didn't sound like I was begging for him. "Not with anyone, I'd be scared still" he whispered but then looked at me "But I'd feel safe with you" he said softly "Would you trust me that much?" I asked, he got on me keeping himself up with his arms "I trust you without a doubt" he said kissing from my lips to my neck, I reached over and pulled his shirt off and kissed him back  he looked scared "Its okay Dan" I whispered "I want to do this with you" he said "You look scared babe, we don't have to" I said "I want you Phil, im sure" he said kissing my neck and taking my shirt off, he kissed along my scar and tugged at my bottoms "I feel safe with you" he whispered, I got up and laid him on the bed "I wanted to try something" I said kissing his collarbones, I gently bit and sucked at his skin making my moan slightly leaving a lovebite "that felt good" he whispered "more?" I asked laughing softly and he nodded, I did the same to spots on his neck, I kissed bit and sucked spots on his neck which drove him crazy "I love you" I whispered kissed his ear and gently biting his earlobe tugging his pajama bottoms,he felt completely comfortable now he knew I wouldn't hurt him "I love you" he whispered kissing me.