Planning Your Future

Can We Not Fight Anymore

December 7, 1992

Veronica's POV

Dear Diary,

JD and I got in another fight last night. I don't even remember what started the fight. All I know is that I threw some things. It feels like we're getting in a lot of fights recently. There was the one after the Alyssa thing and then the one during Thanksgiving break. And now the one we had last night. I'm not sure what is causing us to fight this much. Erika said she could be a relationship counselor but we don't need one. Do we?

Sam and Owen noticed the tension today. Sam said we were acting like his parents after their divorce. Owen was quiet, but he nodded at Sam's comment, so I know he sees it.

I'm writing this in the empty studio. JD left as soon as I dismissed everyone. He didn't even wait to put his guitar in the case. He just carried the case and guitar out in both hands. When he left, the three of us were dead quiet. Owen stayed at the drums, not sure what to do. Sam just stood there, looking like he was afraid to move in case he disturbed the quiet we'd trapped ourselves in.

I don't know when JD started acting like a moody teenage boy. It's getting annoying at this point. I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,

Veronica

I set my diary down. "Hey." Erika comes in. "What're you doing here?" I ask. "You didn't come back. JD was already back at the dorm but you weren't. Are you okay?" She sits at the piano bench with me. "No. JD is acting like a child. He won't even look at me when we're singing duets." I sigh. "Maybe you could solve this the way you do best." Erika picks up my notebook from the piano and hands it to me. "I don't know if I'm in the writing mood." I say. "You don't have to. Just saying it usually works. A song got you back together, didn't it?" True. Had I not written "Perfect Harmony" for him, we probably wouldn't have started dating again. She stands up, "I'll see you back at the dorm."

I sigh as I set my book next to me and play around with the piano. Every time I come up with something lyric wise, I write it down. It's the fastest I've written a song. "Hey, I'm about to lock up." Miles knocks on the door. "Okay. I'm packing up."

I get back to the dorm very late. Erika is already in bed when I walk in. I change my clothes and go to sleep. I have class in the morning so I get up early.

I walk into my Math class. Because fate is cruel, Zoe is in this class. Normally, she's not that bad. She will occasionally shoot me a dirty look, but I don't have the time to deal with my boyfriend's ex when we're not doing great.

After class dismisses, I gather my stuff. "Hey." Zoe's voice says behind me. I jump. "Hey." I turn around. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for acting like a bitch. It's not your fault we broke up." She tells me. "Why did you break up?" JD never told me if he knew why. "The night of his mom's wedding, I overheard him telling his stepsister that it would never be as good with me as it was with you. I didn't want to be in a relationship where I'm not good enough." She sighs. Did he really say that? "Well I have to go. Again, I'm sorry for being rude to you." I nod, "It's okay."

JD's POV

I'm startled by the sound of someone pounding on my door. When I open it, Veronica is standing there with a very unhappy expression. "Yes?" She's not the person I want to see right now. "Did you seriously tell Heather things with Zoe would never be as good as it was with me? On the night of the wedding? The night you literally put together that dance for Alyssa and I?" She yells. Zoe must have told her. "Did Zoe tell you that?" I ask. "Yeah. She wanted to apologize for how she treated me. And you never told me why you guys broke up, so I asked." Why would she want to know? That's completely irrelevant. "Why does it even matter if I said that? You and Alyssa are done. Zoe and I are done." It shouldn't matter. "I knew you still had feelings. But you made no attempt to move on! You pushed away your shot at moving on. The reason it matters is because it hurt someone else. It hurt Zoe, who you told me you wouldn't string along. Yet that's exactly what you did!" Her voice gets even louder. "I'm sorry, okay? Do you think I meant to? Heather asked me if I was over you. Was I supposed to lie? I didn't know Zoe was listening!" I raise my voice to match hers. "You still didn't try," She shakes her head, "Fuck you, Jason Dean." She leaves. "Fuck you too, Veronica Sawyer!" I yell after her.

Veronica's POV

I go back to my dorm. I grab my notebook and open it up to the song I wrote yesterday. I crumple up the pages and throw them in the trash. "What the hell are you doing?" Erika pulls them out. "JD is an ass. He doesn't deserve my song. Question: Can Kyle sing at all?" I cross my arms. "Not really, why?" She starts  to smooth out the paper. "There's officially an empty position of guitar player and singer." She scoffs and rolls her eyes, "Veronica, you're not kicking JD out of the band." She puts the paper on my desk. "Why not? He can't look at me during practice now. I've been the only one writing songs. So I'm not leaving. He can go." I sit down. "Okay fuck this." Erika leaves and comes back with JD, pushing him towards me. "You two are acting ridiculous. You're not leaving until you figure this out." She yells. "I have class." JD says. "Then you better figure it out quickly."

We're left in the room, refusing to be the first one to talk. JD notices the wrinkled song lyrics on my desk. "What's this?" He picks them up. "Nothing. It was for you." I grab them from him. "Why are we doing this? Can we not fight anymore, please? It's stupid." He sighs. "You're the one storming out of rehearsal like a fucking child." I say. "Says the one who threw almost everything in the room at me. You were like a little kid throwing a tantrum." Touché. "Why are we fighting so much?" I lean against the wall. "I don't know. Maybe we've changed so much since we were together before. Do you think we're better off as just friends now?" He joins me. "What?" That can't be true. "We didn't act like this when we just friends." He holds my hand in both of his. "You're right." I say through clenched teeth. "So I guess that's it." He gets up. "I guess so." I stay. "I should go. I have class in an hour." He leaves me alone.

Erika comes in later. "Are you okay?" She asks. "No. I think we just broke up." I break down. "Oh my God I'm so sorry." She hugs me. "What's worse is that we stopped fighting long enough to realize we shouldn't be together." I say. "What do you mean?" She pulls away. "He said that we didn't fight like this as just friends. He's right. So we just ended it and he went to class." I explain. "Veronica, do you love him?" I nod. "And do you still want to be with him?" I nod again. "Then you gotta fight for him. You don't need to break up to stop fighting. That's the easy way out."

JD's POV

I get back from my class. I start doing my work. As always, I'm interrupted by a knock on the door. The second I open it, Veronica kisses me. "What are you doing-" She puts a finger to my lips. "I'm not giving up on you just because it's hard. We're going to fix this instead of giving up." She kisses me again. I kiss back and pick her up, her legs around my waist. We go into the dorm, me closing the door behind me.