Planning Your Future

Moving Too Fast (Part 1)

June 6, 1993

Veronica's POV

"Guys! Attic, now." I tell Owen and Sam as JD and I run upstairs from the front door. Once everyone is in the attic, I let everyone know why I've brought them here. "So I talked to Ethan. There aren't any gigs. So Heather, JD, and I printed these out." I hand both of the guys a flyer. "'Come see the new band 'Edge of Great' perform at 462 South Water Drive. Starts at seven o'clock, on June 11th.' We're doing a show? Where is this?" Owen looks at the paper. I forgot he isn't from here. "It's at my friend's house. She's had so many parties that everyone just already knows her address." I say. "Cool. So how many songs will we be singing?" Sam grabs his bass from the corner. "All six of them I guess. That's twenty minutes once you put them all together. We can finally debut 'Stand Tall!'" I smile. I've been wanting to but we have been trying to ease into it during Owen's recovery. But his doctor said he can go as crazy as he wants. He's been using the drums as a means to let out anger. He was forced to find other ways while he was healing, but now he can do what he wants. We do have to make sure he doesn't do too much, so he doesn't get hurt again or break his drums.

"What's the sixth song? I'm only counting five." JD tilts his head slightly. "'Flying Solo' of course! I told you I wanted to perform it! You can just sing yours to me." I tell him. "Oh. Okay." He nods. "But..." He goes over to my piano and takes my music book. "I think you should sing this one too." He holds up the music to "Wake Up." Which was only for me. "You read it?" I try to get it back. "Yes! And it's a really good song. And I think we should sing this one as well." He pulls out "Dance With You" as well. "No! Why would I sing that? Isn't that what broke us up?" I'm pretty sure that's what started the fight. "I don't care. We're friends now. Besides, we could get Alyssa to come and hear it. You guys could reconnect." He says. "You're forgetting the lyrics to that song. It's so obviously about a girl. It doesn't sound like a song I would sing about a guy. 'Two people swaying slowly, nothing more and nothing less. Why anybody fears that is anybody's guess.' That's not something I'd sing about a guy. The whole song is clearly about a girl. I'm not ready to out myself to everyone in town, especially not your mom and my dad." I don't know how Jill feels about gay people and I don't want to find out this way. "Okay... but what about 'Ours' or 'To Have A Home?'" He pulls those out too. "Fine. I don't care." I sigh. "You're singing them. I want you to want to sing it." He puts a hand on my shoulder. "I'll sing them. Just don't touch 'Dance With You' or 'Unruly Heart.' Especially 'Unruly Heart.' That one is even more obvious." I go downstairs and walk into the kitchen. I get a glass of water, leaning against the island as I drink it.

"Hey. I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have pushed you. I forgot you can't pull a public stunt like that for Alyssa the way you could for me." He leans against the spot on the island that's next to me. "It's fine. It's just... what if I don't want to win Alyssa back. I still think she made her choice. If she wants me back, she is the one who needs to make a grand gesture, not me. I think I should just experiment. Isn't that what college is for when you're single? I'm not going to go around sleeping with every girl or guy I meet. But... I've spent too long moving from one relationship to the next." I went from JD to Aaron, Aaron to JD, JD to Alyssa, and Alyssa to JD. It's time to meet a new person and take it slow. Because I've been moving too fast in relationships since I was seventeen. I'm twenty one now so it's time to do things differently. "That's wise. And if you don't want to sing 'Ours' or 'Wake Up,' I get it." He takes my hand in a way he's never done before. We've always done it with our fingers interlocked, but now he's holding it how you hold your friend's hand. It's weird but nice. "I'll sing them. They're nice songs, it'd be a shame to not put them to good use." I wrote them and what's the use if I can't play them for someone. "Cool. We should go rehearse. We have less than a week. We need to go over 'Stand Tall' and I need to learn 'Flying Solo.' I guess we also need to do the new ones." He leads me back to the attic.