𝐋𝐚𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 (𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐙)

1K Thanks: Episode Prelude

Day 29

7/15/19

I'm walking past what I've to remark the third identical gray cube which is a sad reminder of how dreadful this place is. What a shame I haven't seen a single color pallet other than shades or depressed monochromes in weeks. Not to mention the putrid stench of body oder mixed with urine and fungi in the restrooms welcomes memories of loneliness. Otherwise, a newcomer walks by here they might as well wander around in circles.

But since I'm fairly accustomed to its routes I enter into one corner of the building in the west court where the guards take a smoke break during that time.

Officer Kwon is leaning against the wall with a few other guards who have taken their helmets off but are clutching them in their hands, just in case anyone dares to disrupt the order of this place, or given further instruction otherwise.

I chat with them while sharing a smoke together, we talk about our families, financial situation, how they ended up here in the first place. Most of them were young dashing men with hope burning in their determined gazes, wanting to become the chiefs of their respective cohorts.

Because of their outstanding grades and performance, they were placed as guards to criminals and not leaders of their flights.

Some are able to enjoy it, but Officer Kwon is using his minimal wage to save up for a small tangerine farm on the sunny side of Jeju. He says that after seeing the brutality ordered by the officers here he gave up on law enforcement as a whole.

I would love to hear more if Hongjoong hadn't trudged through here. The sullen look of a gloomy boy made me worry but I wanted to observe what he was doing here.

He never gives me anything more of an angelic smile so he must be especially grumpy when his eyes told me to fuck off. Obvious that he's still spiteful about my idle observations but I can't help but be curious.

Hwang ook, one of the guards, asks with cautious confusion, "You... okay kid?"

Hongjoong nods ruefully and he sits down on the pavement to wonder about his life choices. At least that's what it looked like. The guards don't chase him away, nor do they welcome him either. They distance away and give him space in the shade. Avoiding his gaze, I see that they have a fearful respect for him that is silent.

Hongjoong is some sort of a legend here. I've been told stories from Wooyoung, grim warnings from the chief of police, praise from the prideful Yeosang himself and saw in awe in how everyone seems to part his way. Although I rarely see that ever since his failure, the ashes of his omnipotence still lingers. Impressive.

I hand him a pack with one stick jutting outside the opened box without words. How funny that his smoldering gaze was paired with playfulness, definitely charming like that bastard of a father.

"Is it okay for someone like me to have it?"

"Quit that good boy act. Just take it, you seem stressed."

He takes it, heaves a sigh, and stands so I can light it for him. The stick is slightly wobbly as he awkwardly takes it between his two fingers and inhales it like an inhaler much to my dismay. This boy never smoked! I thought Yeosang or Yunho already gave one! I'm still guilty for introducing him to this insidiously addicting habit.

Well well how interesting that he accepts my offer? Perhaps firm respect for elders? Probably not...maybe he's opening up to me?

"First time? I'll take it if you don't want it."

"It- *cough* *cough* I'm f-fine," he wheezes and cringes at the smoke. The guards put their helmets on and march back into the west courtyard.

He inhales it a second time, but with much less vigor and immediately blows out the smoke. It's funny seeing his nostrils flare as his hand waves the smoke. He crushes the butt and considers it done. I don't know if I should be happy with my progress or sad that I have corrupted him into the adult world.

In fact, I think I rubbed salt into his wounds since his stern frown got deeper. So Hongjoong doesn't really like smoking: Noted.

"Do you want to know why I just watched, instead of helping you?"

His silence meant that I should continue.

"I have a job. I have sacrificed a portion of my freedom and morality for my rudimentary needs. At the end of the day, I need my paycheck. Someday when you grow older you'll understand what's it's like to work with and under people. Second, I wanted to observe and see how my patients are. Seeing you like this was a rare opportunity for me and would be vital to know your psychology. And finally, I had no need to. You're twenty, a new adult so learn how to recover from your mistakes. I can help you, but I cannot solve your problems."

"Yes yes, I understand. Your determination for your job shows how much of an amazing asshole you are."

The sun shines bright on his face yet his unwavering eyes stay dark. At least he doesn't frown anymore so I thought he had some closure. Until his nose wrinkles, he purses his plump lips, and his eyes angrily squint to pull swelling tears.

In a sorrowful whimper, he chokes out the words,

"Why me....it's not fair...."

He reaches his hand out for another smoke and I comply. I light it for him and he takes a few shaky breaths. On the third breath, he exhales and his body loosens. His fists relinquish the grip, arms and legs relax, eyebrows rise in compliance. The frown limps downward and those eyes once firmly gripped the tears closes to finally let them dribble down his cheeks. When he opens them back they are half-lidded and mindlessly stare nowhere.

I understood. It was the plain exhaustion from life itself; the distraught reality of why he was barely living in a punishment he did not deserve.

Unconsciously I take the end of my stick and light it too.

Leaning in for another smoke he asks if I'm just going to 'observe him' again. I replied what else could I do?

He muttered a small thank you and we smoked in silence.