Change and Secrets

Chapter 5

"You left me, I found out the truth, you lied to me all my life, you sent me to hell. Choose," she counted annoyed, and got up from her bed to put away her laptop.
"We didn't have a choice, you know that and if you're talking about us not loving you then you're totally wrong," Raffael spoke, while she sat down on her desk chair.

His eyes were pleading for her to explain everything, without leaving any detail, but she couldn't. She couldn't tell anyone about the truth. And she couldn't forgive them for what they did to her. Not only did it hurt that they never loved her, but also forgiving them meant changing and she couldn't change. It was a risk she wouldn't take.

"I'm not. You have proven it." She thought about standing up to be a little taller, but who was she kidding? Even Raffael was a head taller than her and Raffael was less than a year older than her.

"We get that we hurt you really bad by not visiting or talking to you for the last years, but you have to believe us that we didn't mean to. We really wanted to see and talk to you. You're our little girl we always loved you and you make our little group complete. You're the balance we need,"  Zack spoke, stepping closer. 

"Look straight into my eyes and tell me that you did not lie to me all my life, that I was important to you, that you love me and would protect me. Tell me it wasn't a lie, but I dare you to be dishonest."

They looked straight into her eyes and said exactly that. Saphira searched for it. Searched for any sign that told her that they were lying, but she couldn't find it.

"I don't believe you," she said, looking straight into their eyes, they broke the eye contact and showed their frustration by running their hand through their hair or sighting.

"Where is this even coming from? Where you got this stupid idea that we wouldn't love you and lied to you?" Jack asked now, kneeling before her.
"It doesn't matter. It's the truth." She wanted to back away with the chair, but the chair was already against the table.

"The hell it matters. Who told you that bullshit? That person is so wrong."
"It's true."
"Saphi, who is it? Who told you this?" Jack didn't give in, and if she wasn't careful, then she would give out Brad's name.
"It doesn't matter. I see it myself. I hate you for what you did," she replied. 

"Jack, let me." Jayden came closer, taking in Jack's position, and looking up to her. She looked at him leery, knowing he was up to something.

"I don't believe this shit. I don't believe that you hate us. I'm sure whoever told you this is an idiot and you don't believe that person. Deep down in your heart," Jayden touched the place her heart was with his finger, "you know that we love you and never lied to you."

"That's where you're wrong. I don't have anything left for you. Not even hate because hate is a feeling and you don't deserve any feelings," she responded. She didn't know how bad she hit the guys with it, didn't want to see the hurt in their eyes, but they hurt.

"You only believe that because you've been told it over and over again. Don't do that anymore. Stop it. I don't want my little sister believing a lie that her brothers wouldn't love her." For a second she considered his words. Were they true? Did she only believe it because Brad had told her over and over again?

Then she shook her head and looked away. He got the message that she didn't believe him.
"Not even a mini point for me?" Jayden asked and she was taken back years when they had made this a little game between just the two of them. Giving each other a point when they were right about something.

"No." Saphira still didn't look at him, afraid she would burst into tears when she did.
"Okay. I will give you a point. I thought about our conversation this morning and you were right. We should have visited you, no matter what mum and dad said. It was a mistake, I'm really sorry for it."