I'm no trooper

Chapter 22: One Free Man

F/N's perspective

I'd thought I was used to nightmares at this point. From many nights of seeing my friends dying, each one the same bloody and painful releases of life. Each one played out the same way as when I saw them for the first time months ago. Unfortunately, though, now a new nightmare joined their number as of last night.

The faces of the women and children, of Clover.... of Lina....their voices called out to me. All in unison, asking why I led them into the jaws of death. My body was frozen, forced to watch Esdeath kill them over and over again, the chant ringing out over the carnage. The monster of a woman repeated the act with a pleased smile on her face, seeming to mock me with every kill. So I endured the dark torment of my mind's trama, watching it play out on repeat through the night. After several cycles, I couldn't count how many. Finally, I awoke with sweat dripping down my brow, my body aching from the lack of meaningful sleep.

F/N: "Fucking damn it... Damn it all."

I croaked out, wiping the sweat from my forehead. Then, swinging myself out of bed, I stood up and headed for my bathroom. Walking in front of the skin, I ran the tap a bit before splashing the cold running water onto my face. The early morning fog was fading away as my eyes gazed into the mirror, the dark bags under the eyes staring back at me. Another reminder of my restless night.

F/N: "Lovely...

I muttered before turning off the faucet, grabbing a towel, and drying my face. When I pulled it away, my mind wandered to last night, the feelings of anger and sorrow. Deep in my soul, I still felt them, burning embers just waiting to be ignited again. Though while I knew that Esdeath was part of my mission, the one Gold tasked and sent me on many months before.

Though when I thought of the man, some of those embers stirred. He had all this godly power, power to give me my abilities, to bring me to this world in the first place. Yet the most this 'god' has done of late is talk, and I still have so many unanswered questions. If he was as powerful as he said, then why couldn't Gold do this himself? Instead, he brought me into this, to a near-impossible task to end a war without bloodshed... too much bloodshed. If I had more power, maybe we could easily jus-

A sudden crash broke me away from my thoughts as I jumped a bit. Looking around, I saw the mirror had shattered, the shards scattered around the bathroom along with bottles and towels, all now littering the ground. Looking down, I noticed my hands were balled into fists and shaking.

F/N: "T-the hell was that....

I said as I looked around again. Anger wasn't an emotion that I held back in any form, but this seemed excessive. Was this more than just stress? I thought, however, couldn't linger on long as rapid footsteps entered my room.

Bols: "Echo are you- oh....

He said before stumbling upon me, I couldn't fully make out his expression from under that mask, but I assumed it was a mixture of shock and worry.

Bols: "Am I intruding?"

F/N: "No, no... it's fine...I just lost my temper."

I said and used my telekinesis to put all the stuff back into place, though the mirror was beyond what I could repair. The shards ending up in the trashcan as Bols walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder.

Bols: "I don't blame you, not after what I heard you saw.....

He said. His voice was low, and I got the sense he knew from personal experience. Looking up, I could faintly sense an aura of sorrow radiating off the muscular man. Bols pulled his hand away from my shoulder as he went to exit the room. Though before he passed through the doorway, I asked him a question in a quiet voice.