Once in a lifetime.

⚠️8

June

I take the stairs two at a time and don't even knock when I get to the door. She's laying on her bed in a ball and I run to her. As my body lands on the bed she takes in a sharp breath through her teeth and I mumble a 'sorry' as I start checking every inch of her skin. Her lip is busted and her eye is blue and purple. Her beautiful dark skin is helping her body lie to me. She has red marks up she down her legs and I stare in disbelief.

I have known that Tori's dad has been abusing her for over a year now, but it's never been this bad. Child abuse is never okay, but getting Tori to tell someone is no use, she's terrified that they will separate her and Johnny, that she'll never see him again. She'll be 18 soon, she can legally adopt him and they can, somehow, move out. Even then though, will her dad let them leave? That's always when Tori changes the subject.

"What was it this time?"

But she can't answer because the tears are forcing her eyes close and her lip is too swollen for her to speak. So instead I lay next to her, careful where I put my arm and I tell her how amazing she is.

We quote 'The Help' book saying "You is kind, you is smart, you is important." Over and over to each other in our darkest moments. "Go on and ask yourself this, 'Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today?'" And as she cries harder I play with her hair, careful not to mess up her curls.

After an hour or so Tori makes her way up to a sitting position wiping her eyes. "Fuck." I follow her gaze to the mirror aimed at her bed. "I look like shit." She starts to laugh but I don't join.

This isn't funny, and even though I know she's laughing to try and change her own mood I refuse to laugh at my best friend's condition. She does look like shit. "Thank God I don't have school tomorrow, cause that would be a stooory." Again, I don't laugh, I don't smile, I refuse.

"What are we going to do Tori?" I ask, for the hundredth time.

"You always ask that."

"Well it keeps happening, nothing has changed."

"I'll do better." She says as if it's her fault.

I blink at her biting my tongue. "I doubt you can do that, 'cause it's never your fault."

"You don't see it when it happens."

I shake my head. "I don't need to. No parent should hit their child."

She huffs at me. "You don't get it."

I huff back, "Oh yeah, I'm sure I don't, please try and explain how him hitting you is your fault!" A knock makes us jump and I start to panic that it's her dad, but then seconds later Johnny opens the door. Oh man, dang, I forgot he was home.

"Tori?" He tiptoes inside like he's walking on glass.

Tori fixed her face into a smile, well, the best smile you can give with a busted and swollen lip. "Yeah, little man?"
"I'm hungry."

She nods. "Okay," when she starts to stand but I beat her to it.

"I gotcha Johnny, let's see what dad has downstairs." I grab his hand and he smiles at me. I look back at Tori and she smiles a thank you. I nod once telling her she's welcome.

Johnny and I eat downstairs giving Tori a second to collect herself. Ham, Mayo, and pickle sandwiches. Well, Johnny eats, I decide Tori needs my sandwich more than I do and take an apple instead. I wanna give her time and let her come out when she's ready, I know that's he doesn't want Johnny to see her like this. She tries to shield him from it physically and emotionally. My phone chimes and I flip it over reading.

Dalton- Sent: 645pm
How's your day? *insert British voice* it feels like it's been forever.
Ten points if you can name the movie.

Normally a Dalton text would send me through the roof, but right now my mind is stuck on Tori. I don't know what to do, my heart is telling me to tell, but my head is telling me not to. I take another bite of my apple and watch Johnny. I wonder what would really happen if I called the police on him. Would Johnny and Tori really be sent away to a home? And maybe a different one? If they were separated I would never forgive myself, but I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself for not telling when he hits her again.

I think back to the first time I noticed the bruises on her arm, I think she tried to tell me she fell. I believed her because we didn't lie to each other, but when I saw another one-two weeks later I was skeptical. "How many times can you run into a wall Victoria?" I remember asking her, using her full name for an extra umph of seriousness.

"I'm clumsy." She said, trying to shrug it off, but I wasn't convinced.

"No, you're not clumsy. You've never fallen up the stairs! Or tripped on air, you even seem to walk well with your shoelaces untied. You want me to believe that you magically just woke up and ran into a wall?"

I could sense her start to get nervous. "Sleep waking?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Since now?" She started bitting her nails, something she only does when she's nervous.

I decided on a different approach. I put my hand on hers and let my face soften.

"Tori, if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to right now, but are you safe?" I didn't know why I asked it like that then. 'Are you safe?' I had no reason to believe she wasn't safe. As far as I knew at the time her dad worked, came home, tucked Johnny in, and went to bed. I had been over at her house countless times and there was never any indication of abuse.

Looking back now I see the signs. Tori is only allowed to go to school and home, and the occasional trip to my house. For Johnny it's worse, he's not allowed to invite, or go over to his friend's house, I didn't even know he had friends until a few months ago.

I happened to be over when he brought home a birthday invitation, he came in as happy as could be. Tori tried to intercept the card but her dad saw it coming, he yanked it so hard out of her hand it left a cut. He tossed it and told him that parties were stupid and he wasn't allowed to go. Johnny started crying and that's when I was told to go home. I tried to refuse but the look Tori gave me made me leave, she was begging me with her eyes, and I could help but worry that if I didn't go, I'd get them into more trouble.

Tori didn't come to school the next day. I felt a knot in my stomach for two days because I left. It's hard, you can always say, 'I would have stayed' but would you have? It's different at the moment, being stuck between trying to know what's right and what's wrong. No matter what you'll always have 'what if's and they will never stop running through your head.

When Tori did come back I tried to ask her what happened but she brushed it off quickly shoving her face full of school pizza. I still hate myself to this day that I left them, and I still hate myself for not doing anything. I watch as Johnny watches YouTube on Tori's phone. At thirteen years old he acts like a child, and sometimes I wonder if it's because he's 'slow' or if it's his brain-protecting him from what's going on around him.

Tori comes almost skipping down the stairs and I can't help but notice her fake smile plastered onto her face, when she smiles at us Johnny gives her a genuine one back, but I refuse.

"How are the two loves of my life doing?" She pushes Johnny's hair back out of his eyes.

Johnny answers in between bites. "JJ made you a sandwich."

She smiles, "Oh great, I'm starved." She takes a huge bite and I see her hide her wincing from Johnny. Our eyes meet and she blinks at me. She chews for a few seconds the swallows saying, "Jules aren't you hungry?"

My face stays straight as I say, "Not one bit."