Once in a lifetime.

45

October

Dalton had a show in Indi on Friday, my brother wanted me to go so bad, even my Dad was freeing up his schedule so he could take me, but I didn't want to go. I felt like they were more worried about me than anything else. My mom had basically shunned me and was refusing to even look at me.

I knew that I could go to the show and possibly fix everything. I might not be able to see Dalton, but maybe just me being there would help me change my mind. I spent most nights wondering if I had made the wrong choice. I've been trying to ignore my thoughts of Dalton because I felt like he left me more than I had left him. In the end I had created this mess for myself. A part of me believe that if I went to the show that it could fix everything that I destroyed. I knew what it could mean, but I was denying.

I told my brother that I really appreciated it, but that I didn't feel well enough to go, and that I had been using to get out of things all week.  I didn't tell Cayden that I knew about the show, even though our conversation was slowly turning away from Dalton, the subject of a show seemed to have him written all over it. I decided to lay in bed instead. Grabbing a rack of Oreos and a jar of peanut butter in my lap with a movie playing, I allowed my mind to wander from everything. I allowed myself to get lost in the movie. I pretended I was that girl going on an adventure and that I would one day reach the top of that mountain.

As I closed my eyes I felt the wind on my face and the water of the lake running across my arms. I laid my head back and snuggled under the covers, and allowed myself to slip into something that I only remembered slightly, sleep.

In my dream, I was in a forest, but I didn't feel lost or afraid, I felt safe. I walked the path, taking in the nature around me. I heard the birds chirping and the Squirrels looking for their hidden nuts, I even heard a woodpecker pecking away at the tree nearby.  The sky was a soft baby blue and the leaves crunched underneath my feet as I walked.

I felt safe here, I felt wanted. I wasn't sure who wanted me here, but whoever it was made smile. I didn't feel alone. It was the first time, in a long time that I hadn't felt alone. Even though the animals were living their own lives, doing their thing, it made me feel like I was welcome here. It made me feel like maybe they were the ones that wanted me here, that they needed me here, that I was here for a reason. I continued on the path letting it take me up and down small hills twisting around the forest, and I even stopped at a small waterfall and took a long gulp of water.

It was so beautiful, I can't describe how the green leaves were or how great it felt to take a deep breath and have healthy air in my lungs. I felt like a new person like all my troubles have just floated away, I didn't think about Dalton, and how much it hurt to know I was just a phone call away, but he chose not to call, or what crazy things my stomach has been doing, the only thing that thought about, was me.

As I was hiking up a hill I hear leaves crunch behind me. I whip my head around expecting to find an animal, but nothing or no one was there. I soon shrugged it off and continued hiking. After moments had passed I heard it again. This time when I turn I make sure to take in my surroundings. The large trees stretch up to the sky, like a baby asking for food. The breeze feels constant and cooling on my back. The leaves lay quietly on the ground, undisturbed. I take a deep breath in, and turn and continue my hike up the hill.

The top of the mountain is beautiful, I feel as if I can see for miles. The sky feels so close I could touch it and I can feel the sun kissing my skin. Here in dreamland, everything is perfect. Until the mountain shakes, and I fall to my knees. Looking around everything looks fine, but I know something's wrong.

"Juliet?" I can hear Dalton calling my name. I cover my hands with my ears and scream at him to go away. "Juliet it's important to please wake up."