Soulmate (Completed) 18+

*9*

**Prem's POV**

**Six Months Later**

Were being so freaking lazy...

The time for student testing just got finished and neither Boun or I wanted to go into work today so we had Tay work for us since he refused to come into work all week. 

With that said though, Boun and I have literally been laying in this bed since 7 this morning and it's currently 4 in the afternoon. All we've done so far is get up to use the bathroom, take a shower and eat. 

That's it. 

Than we laid back down and watched movies until we passed out for a little bit. Right now Boun is watching some science movie that I don't fully understand but were spending time together so I don't really mind.

Over the last 6 months things have gotten a little overwhelming but better at the same time. 

It took us a few weeks to confess to Tay that we were dating now and than we stopped trying to hide it from everyone else that we were around because it seemed stupid after a while. 

I stopped going to my apartment and gradually my things started to end up at his house until he had to make space in his closet for them. 

Now were practically living together but we never actually made it official and I really want to make it official. I don't see the point of paying bills for a place I don't go to anymore and I don't like being anywhere but with him now. 

He is my safe place, I still have trouble trusting others or being very social with others but around him I feel more like myself as time goes on. 

I did end up loosing contact with Earth and everyone else after seeing them at the restaurant. It was easier to start over with a fresh start with Boun and I don't regret it. 

I miss them every once in a while but it just didn't feel right anymore. 

I was so tired of holding onto the past.

At first that was my issue but now I have a completely different issue. 

Even though my panic attacks are lower than they've ever been and I havent had one for almost a month now, Boun still refuses to touch me in any other way than innocent. 

The first time we tried to have sex I kind of had a panic attack half way through him giving me a blow job and yea since than he refuses to touch me until I'm 100% better but I don't know if that's even possible and I really want to go further with him. 

He has become everything to me, to be fair I still havent told him that I love him or taken off my ring yet but those two things seem to be the hardest for me. 

I know I gave up on my past but I put so much of my energy into twisting the ring on my finger when I was sad that it almost feels like a part of me.

So yea, all of these things are my goals for today and so far all three of them have been a fail. I tried to start something when we were taking a shower but that didn't work and than I tried when we started watching our first movie and that didn't work either. 

Than I tried to tell him that I loved him but every time I opened my mouth to say it I would chicken out and swallow my words.

Knowing that I love him and admitting to him that I love him are two completely different things...

Boun: He nudges his chin against my shoulder playfully. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

Okay I can do this, one step at a time... 

Prem: I turn my head to look at him before whispering. "Can we live together?"

Boun: He looks confused. "I thought we were already living together."

Prem: "No I mean officially. Most of my things are here and I sleep here every single day but we never made it official so I never go rid of the apartment or brought over the rest of my things."

Boun: He props himself up on one elbow. "I didn't know if that's what you wanted so I was letting you do things at your own pace. If you want to move in than I would love you too. I wanted you to move in months ago..."

Prem: "Wait really?"

Boun: He nods slowly before reaching out to touch my cheek. "You are my life now Prem, I like having you by my side."

I knew he meant that as a complement but for some reason it made me feel embarrassed as I feel my face turning red. 

Prem: Is it okay if I take some time off tomorrow to move my things and take care of my lease?"

Boun: "Of course, do you want any help?"

Prem: "No that's okay, this feels like something I need to do on my own."

Boun: "Well if you end up needing my help I can take some time off and help you."

Prem: "I know, I'll call you if I need you." I could see that the conversation was over and that he was about to get distracted by the Tv again when I keep his hand on my face so he couldn't move away. "Can we try again?"

Boun: "Try again at what?"

Prem: I didn't want to make things super obvious but I couldn't help but glance down. "You haven't touched me since that day..."

Boun: "Premm... You know why I'm holding back, your not in the right mind set to be doing things like that right now."

Prem: "But I never asked you to stop trying, don't you know how embarrassing it is to think that you don't want to go further with me because I get panic attacks when I'm happy."

Boun: "I just don't want to hurt you. I know it's been a long time since you... Uhm and I just want you to be positive that this is what you want."

Prem: Barely a whisper as I lean against his palm. "I've wanted this for a long time now..."

Boun: "prem..."

Prem: "Don't you want to?"

Boun: "I do, I promise you that I do. I think about it all the time but I don't trust myself enough to know that once we start I'll be able to stop again..."

Prem: I gently pull his arm so he was hovering over me before whispering. "I would never ask you to stop, I want you..."

It looked like their was a war in his eyes and I almost felt bad confronting him about it but he slowly leans down and presses his lips to mine before pulling away.

Boun: Whispering. "Are you sure?"

Prem: I just give him a genuine smile before wrapping my arms around his neck. "Kiss me."

Boun, I love you...