𝗠𝘆 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿⁴ // 𝘑𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘏𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘳

chapter 24

Easter wasn't really a thing this year, since all these events. We just made a lunch and in the church they told us just to dye eggs in red color, because it symbolizes luck and happiness, and it still is important day in the year.

When I woke up in the morning Mason was looking at me while he rubbed my hand and played with my rings.
"Hey baby."
"Morning momma."
"How did you sleep?"
"Well, better when I was next to you."
I smiled at him, kissing his head.
I cuddled with him for few minutes before checking my phone.
"Okay, I'm gonna go make breakfast. Do you have an idea of something that you want to eat?"
"Uh, mommy I don't think I wanna eat breakfast today."
"What? Why?"
"These past time since dad died all those people that have been coming over, so many of them said that I gained weight since last time they saw me. I don't wanna be fat anymore."
I frowned hugging him tightly and then pulling away.
"First of all, other people's opinions should not bother you. Second, you're not fat, maybe a little chubby but not fat. And you are still a kid. And it's all okay while you're healthy. If it was going on a way for you not to be healthy I'd tell you and then we'd together change your meals so you can be healthy."
"Well it's easier if I just don't eat."
"No it's not. Starving is not gonna solve your problem. Trust me that I've done that. And you already have slow metabolism, which is totally fine, I have it too and so much more people do too, so starving would just ruin it more. And then, when you starve you're gonna quickly lose weight, so then when you eat the next time a little bigger meal, you're gonna gain everything back, plus more."
He started crying again and I pulled him again in the hug as we were both sitting on the bed.
"How come then Michael and Josie aren't fat like I am? I mean, it's good for them but I just feel so ugly next to them."
"I already told you that you're not fat, just little chubby. And you're not ugly. You are one of the most beautiful boys I've ever seen, just like Michael is too."
"Yes but he has so good body. And all those diets seems so hard to do."
"Listen, if you want to lose weight, we can then go together on calorie deficit. I'll do it with you so you don't feel alone or anything like that. We're gonna eat a little healthier food, and cut out a little of snacks. Not everything, but not as much as now. Does that sound good?"
"O-okay. So what is calorie deficit?"
"Nothing you should be scared of, I'm just gonna count the amount of calories we eat in the day. I'll check on the internet how much calories in the day we both need to eat to stay healthy and not ruin our metabolism, but still lose weight. Okay?"
He nodded his head still holding onto me.
"Can we check that now? Because I am hungry."
I chuckled and nodded my head.
I do know that he should have around 47 pounds, and he has around 60 I think, but I'll check it all just for him. And I also won't put him on calorie deficit since I don't think a kid that is 8 years old should do that, but I just said that to him so he believes me onto not starving. I don't want my kid falling into that type of eating disorder like I did. Going from binge eating to starving is so bad. And I'm glad he told me all this right away.

"Okay, c'mon, let's go to kitchen."
I took his hand and we walked downstairs to the kitchen where my mom was already making breakfast. He looked up at me scared.

Jesus, I don't know if I feel good that I know how I'll help him because I went through all that alone, or that I feel bad because I know exactly how he feels. And he is just fucking 8 year old boy.
"Hey momma."
"Heyy guys. You can take these eggs, I'm gonna make more."
Mason squeezed my hand hard and I looked down at him while he shook his head.
"You don't need to make more. Mason and I are going to eat something else."
"Oh, why? Do you not want eggs? I can make something else-"
"No, no, it's okay. We're just healthy eaters from today, you know."
"Oh, okay."
I gave her a look not to ask any further in front of Mason, so she just didn't ask anything else.
"You can go sit while I make it."
I told him and he nodded his head, walking to the other side of island and climbing up on the chair.
I made us both a bowl of some oats and mixed it with a yogurt that is good for these type of breakfasts. I know since I used it before while I was trying to lose weight. And then put some fruits on top of it.
"Mommy I don't know about this, it looks too healthy for me, maybe if I eat these eggs instead-"
He said touching the food in the bowl with his spoon and looking at it weirdly.
"No. You said that you wanted to lose weight and for that you have to eat healthier. I made you this, now eat it."
He pressed his lips before taking a spoon of it and putting it in his mouth.
"Wait, this is actually good."
"Oh yeah, you see?"

"Don't eat that fast. When you eat fast, your tummy will need more time to tell you that it's full, and then you'll eat more food than you should, plus it will hurt."
He nodded his head and slowed down a little.

Soon Michael and Josie came into the kitchen and took their eggs.
They narrowed their eyebrows at my and Mason's bowls.
"Why are you guys eating that?"
"Because it's good."
They just shrugged and ate their eggs.

For lunch I made a combination of some vegetables with mom. She used to make that when I was younger. It's not even that bad, and it's healthy. And then it's not that Mason would feel left out all the time, but he'd still be able to loose that what he needs.

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A/N I don't even know what am I doing anymore, I'm sorry😭
Anyway, if you actually know some good healthy meals tell me in the comments bc I could really use them for myself :P