𝗠𝘆 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿⁴ // 𝘑𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘏𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘳

chapter 28

May 4th, 2036

"Hey love."
She said kissing the grave sitting on the grass.
Tears were already streaming down her face.
"Today would be our 16 years since we met."
She stuttered out breaking in more tears.
She left kids at Addison's and Bryce's today.
"I just miss you so much."
She shook her head, before putting it in her hands.
"You're just idiot for going in that damn fire for me. Even if I was inside. Why would you risk your life again for me? If I was in there we both would've died. And then what would happen to kids? They'd be growing up without parents."
She stuttered out, struggling to breathe.
"I remember- I remember the day I met you. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here today. Even if I didn't get kidnapped and probably would've finish dead on that way, if nothing of that happened I would've killed myself at some point. Not that I didn't try before."
Her sentences weren't really good, and her stuttering and sobbing didn't help with it.
"But then you showed me that I'm actually worth of being on this planet. You were my reason to live. Your love was keeping me alive. You were keeping me alive."
She took few minutes while remembering their memories. "And I can't thank enough to God for bringing you in my life. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for you. And I mean that in every possible way. Even the way that I wouldn't be on cemetery today if you weren't dead probably."
Her sobs got louder, tears wouldn't stop going.
"Mason is on a so called diet. He asked me to correct his meals so he would lose weight. And I'm really proud of him for that, but he didn't need it. And he looks like he is now ashamed to eat. And it makes me so sad."
Her sobbing calmed down a little, but there were still tears going down her face.
"Michael started going to practice again. He has match next Saturday. Josie isn't really doing much, I can see all of them are struggling with school, and I'm really trying to help them, but they are just not in mental state to study. On their luck, there's not much of school left until the end of the school year."
She took a moment to wipe her nose before continuing.
"I really wish you were here. I wish you didn't jump in the fire for me. Screw that I wish I died and that you were still alive. I just want you back babe."
She cried harder, pulling her legs to her chest and burying her head in her knees.
"I can't make this without you Jaden. I can't. I need you. I need you back. I'm just a whole fucking mess and I need to take care of kids and make sure they are okay, that they do school, feel loved. And I just can't do it. I just wanna lay in the bed every day and cry. But I need to put myself up every day for them. If they weren't here, I wouldn't be alive right now probably. I would've killed myself for all of this, because it is all my fault."
Her words came out as a mumble while she talked in her leg.
This just proves how broken she actually is.

"I just want you to annoy me every day. I want you to remind me every day and then to make a stupid argument because I don't believe you when you say it. I want to hug you so bad. Screw that, I would even rather argue with you every day than don't have you."

-

"Mommy!"
Josie squealed running up to her mom and wrapping herself around her when Lexi walked in Addison's house.
"Hey baby."
They all greeted each other, before sitting on the couch.

Kids were basically pushed out of the house, so Addison and Lexi would talk.
"I'm sorry I haven't checked on you yesterday, I just didn't have time with all this."
Addison said, referring to kids.
"No, it's okay. I wanted to be alone yesterday. Thank you for taking care of them."
"Of course."
They gave each other simpathetic smiles before continuing the conversation.
"So, when did M start eating like that?"
"Some time around Easter. He said he feels really insecure about his body, so he wants to lose weight. Even though I don't think he needs it yet, because he still has to go through puberty. But I'm helping him and eating with him so he doesn't feel left out or anything like that."
"Poor baby. Well if he feels that way then I'm glad you're helping him. That could've took a different turn."
"Yeah, I know."

Lexi and Addison talked a little more while kids spent time in the yard.
"M?"
Little guy hummed looking at Eva while she leaned on his shoulder. They were only two on the swing.
"Are you on diet? You lost some weight."
"I did?"
Boy asked excitedly. It made him happy that his cousin think he looks skinnier than usual.
"Yeah."
He smiled really big, looking in front of him.
"You wanted to lose it?"
"Yeah. I look really ugly being fat."
"No you don't. And you weren't fat."
"Yes, I am."
"No you're not. Especially now. This is how fat people look like."
She grabbed her phone and showed him the picture on internet.
"Wow."
"See. Those are called fat. You were just a little chubby but it was cute though. But you look amazing now."
"Aw thank you for thinking that."
He pouted. His heart was full when she said he looks amazing now.
She kissed his cheek hugging him, which he returned and hugged her too.

"Kids, c'mon, we're going home."
They all said their bye's before Lexi and kids left the house. They crossed the streets with kids running before they got to their house.

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A/N Hello people!!
We're gonna ignore shitty chapter, I was just having breakdown so I wrote it while crying ;)