𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐌𝐄 :: 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣

五十三

* big trigger warning!!! mentions of underage prostitution, underage alcohol consumption, drug dealing, implied abuse, suicidal thoughts, ptsd, implied depression, mentions of suicide attempt, implied r*pe, illegal activities *

october 20th, 2017
11:07pm

chan and minho had been laying together on the bed for a while, the younger male wrapped tightly inside chan's warm and strong arms. they had exchanged a good amount of kisses and soft touches before, none of the touches being too risky or intimate.

minho was afraid of doing something more than just kissing and chan respected that. he knew why the younger was so hesitant and insecure and he would never ever try to do anything to him without his full consent.

the boys were smiling widely, enjoying the silence around them peacefully while chan occasionally caressed minho's body with his fingers. it felt so domestic and comfortable, they could stay like that forever.

"you're so pretty, do you know that?" chan suddenly broke the silence, making minho's cheeks turn red at the compliment.

"i'm not pretty." he mumbled as he hid his face on the elder's chest.

"yes you are. you're the prettiest person i've ever seen."

"you're lying." minho was quick to reject chan's words again. he never learned how to accept compliments and it was extremely hard for him to believe anything positive someone said to him.

"i'm not lying minho. i don't know why you keep degrading yourself but you have to start accepting that you're worth much more than you believe you are."

minho sighed and removed his face from chan's chest. his eyes looked empty and dull once again and the smile that had been embellishing his face just a few minutes before was replaced by a deep, sad frown. "chan... there are many things you don't know about me... i'm pretty sure that once you find out how disgusting i really am, you're not gonna believe any of the things you say to me anymore."

chan shook his head and placed a hand on minho's left cheek, caressing his skin tenderly. "then tell me. tell me what you think might be too disgusting for me to keep loving you and i'll prove you that nothing is as bad as you think. i don't know what you've done but i can guarantee that it's not worth me leaving you."

minho bit his lip as he leaned into chan's touch, desperate for some comfort that he'd definitely need in order to recall all these memories again. he had already told chan (and hyunjin) some things that happened to him and scarred him forever but he had hidden many things from them. things that were much more horrible to remember than what he had already said.

the older male noticed minho's body starting trembling and he instantly pulled him in a warm hug, resting his chin on the boy's head. "minnie, it's alright. i'm here. take your time and tell me whatever you want once you're ready. i don't wanna press you."

"no! i wanna tell you now channie! i'm just... s-scared." his voice cracked but he promised himself not to cry. not again. he had cried enough already, it was time for him to start being more controlling over his sensitive emotions.

"scared of what sweetheart? you know im not gonna judge you for anything, right?" chan's tone was soft and comforting, causing a part of minho's worry to fade away. yet he still felt terrified of chan's possible reaction because what he was about to tell him wasn't acceptable buy many people. most of the people that heard about individuals that had done actions similar to minho's always seemed to push them away and heavily judge them and criticize them. they couldn't understand, they couldn't understand that these people didn't choose to live this way. they had to do this, they had to go through this because it was the only possible way for them to survive in this cruel world.