𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐌𝐄 :: 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣

三十九

october 3rd, 2017
6:13pm

minho was panicking. he had been late to chan's party and he was still at his home, running around his bedroom, not knowing what to wear. he wanted to make a good first impression to chan's friends but he couldn't find anything good to wear.

he had tried on more than ten outfits and he didn't like any of these.

the boy sat on his bed and pulled at his hair in frustration, letting out a scream. he wasn't only running late at chan's party. he also didn't know if he'd manage to find the courage and go since his insecurities started appearing once again. he couldn't even stare at his reflection on the mirror without thinking about how much of a disappointment he was. his thoughts had gotten the best of him and his mind was visiting the oh so familiar dark places he desperately wanted to avoid, at least now.

minho felt tears appearing in his eyes but he tried to keep them in. he wanted to be strong today. for chan. he wanted to be brave and actually leave his house and attend the elder's party. it was the least he could do for him after so many things chan had already done.

minho felt like he owed chan his life and maybe he really did because he would have probably been dead by now if chan hadn't saved him so many times.

it's going to be okay, just breathe, minho tried to reassure himself but the stupid voices in his head wouldn't leave him alone.

what if his friends don't like you?

what if they leave chan after they find out that he's hanging out with a loser like you?

what if chan leaves you after he realises how pathetic and lunatic you actually are?

you were never meant to be loved and you'll never be. don't get your hopes up because you're gonna see them crashing down soon.

fortunately, the sudden sound of his ringtone shook his thoughts away and the brown-haired boy could finally feel his heart beating again. minho hesitantly grabbed his phone from his bed, feeling a lump forming in his throat as he saw the caller.

it was chan and he was probably worried about him.

shit. minho thought and with a trembling finger, he accepted the call and put the phone on his ear, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"h-hello?"

"minho are you okay? where are you?" chan's panicked and worried voice caused a wave of guilt to rise in minho's head but he quickly shook it away.

"i'm on my way, don't worry." of course minho lied. he couldn't tell chan the truth because if he did he was sure that the elder would leave the party to come and check on him. the younger male had no intention of ruining such a special day for chan.

"alright. hurry up, i miss you and my friends are excited to meet you!"

minho chuckled softly at this and just nodded his head even though chan wouldn't be able to see him. "i'll be there soon. don't cut the cake without me."

"of course we won't!" chan laughed and ended the call, causing minho to let out a sigh as he buried his face in his hands.

"come on, you can do this! for chan!" the boy said, trying to convince himself to get up and go join chan's party. he was still on the verge of a panic attack, his pupils were shaky and tears were glistening in his eyes but he had to ignore them all for chan's sake.

he had already let chan down many times and he didn't want to do that again on his birthday.

with a deep breath, minho slowly got up from his bed, found some clothes to wear and grabbed his phone, heading out of his house.

---

"i'm so glad you made it!" minho was attacked by chan's arms the moment the door opened and he immediately melted in the tight hug the elder was providing him, letting his tensed muscles relax a bit.

"happy birthday channie." the boy mumbled into chan's neck and placed a soft peck on his pale skin, causing the elder to let out a giggle.

"thank you minnie. now come in! i want you to meet my friends!" chan broke the hug and grabbed minho's hand instead, dragging him inside the house with a big smile on his face.

minho gulped in nervousness as they entered the living room. six boys were wandering around the room, smiling and laughing with each other. the brunette felt his insecurities kicking in once again as he realised that all of them were happy and carefree, living their lives in joy while minho was still trapped in his own thoughts, fighting with his struggles for almost his whole life.

the boy felt a bit out of place as he sensed that he didn't belong there. he didn't belong with these people. they were normal and happy and he was mentally unstable and depressed.

he wanted to run away and go back to his apartment, lock himself in and never face the outer world again. he was an outsider, a loser who hated his life and the only thing he wanted was to end it.

suddenly, chan's soft touch snapped minho out of his thoughts and he quickly turned to face the elder who was staring at him with sparkly eyes and a huge smile on his face.

"these are my friends minnie, i promise they'll be nice to you."

minho only nodded slightly, hiding his shaky and sweaty hands under his sleeves. his gaze was on the floor as he felt too awkward to look at the six of them.

the other boys must have sensed his nervousness as well as they immediately stopped talking and just gathered in front of the two older boys, smiling softly at the new comer.

felix decided to set the pace as he had already practically met minho before. the freckled male stepped forward and with a big smile on his lips, he offered his hand to the older boy for a handshake.

"hey minho! we have already met before but my name's felix. it's nice to see you again."

minho glanced up shyly, hesitantly grabbing felix's hand and accepting the handshake before turning his gaze at chan who was giving him the softest look he had ever seen.

chan was staring at minho like he was a fragile and tiny kitten and the younger of the two felt his cheeks flushing at this.

after felix, jisung was the one who went to greet minho and he offered him his hand as well, giving him a welcoming smile. "hi! i'm jisung and it's so nice to finally meet you! you're more beautiful than i expected wow!"

minho just chuckled awkwardly and accepted this handshake as well, greeting jisung back.

all the boys slowly introduced themselves too, apart from one who was staring at the elder persistently until his turn came.

minho lifted his gaze, looking towards the boy that hadn't greeted him yet but when their gazes met, minho's eyes doubled in size and with trembling legs, he took a step back.

"h-hyunjin?"

~~~

woop woop 👁👅👁💅