𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐌𝐄 :: 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣

四十九

october 20th, 2017
7:09pm

both boys had finished their ice creams a while ago and were currently laying down on the grass, staring at the clouds above them with wide, stupid smiles decorating their faces. they had talked a lot, catching up with each other's lives and telling each other stories about their middle school and high school years. it was mostly hyunjin talking though as minho didn't really have a lot of information to share but none of them minded.

hyunjin was inquisitive. he had realised that minho probably had gone through a hard time but he chose not to mention anything, not wanting his older friend to feel uncomfortable. he'd rather talk to him about it in the future, when the bond between them would be fixed and tightened again.

however, there was something the younger boy was really, really curious and worried about. there was something, or, someone that minho never mentioned in all the things he told hyunjin about his life. and it made the younger feel a certain type of curiosity raising inside him.

"min" he finally said, earning a soft hum from the elder as a response before popping up on his elbows to have a better view of minho's face. "how's your brother doing? i've missed him so much!"

and that's when minho suddenly froze. his eyes widened and every muscle in his body stopped functioning. he had been expecting this question yet he still wasn't prepared enough for this. he didn't want to talk about it but he knew he had to. hyunjin should know. he was his best friend and he deserved to know the truth. even if the truth was too painful for minho to recall it.

the taller male got concerned at the lack of minho's response and his reaction only made his worry increase. "minho? are you okay?" hyunjin spoke softly, gently shaking his friend's tensed arm as he tried to pull him up from the grass in a sitting position.

when he saw minho's eyes being completed void of any color and emotion after the sudden question he knew that his words had pulled some sensitive strings on him, causing him to react the way he did.

"please minho say something, i'm really worried-"

"my brother is dead." minho cut off hyunjin's sentence, immediately shutting him up with his shaky and really weak voice. "he died a few years ago and it was my fault."

a suffocating silence engulfed the two boys for the following minutes, the younger of them trying to comprehend minho's last sentence with widened eyes and jaw hanging. hyunjin couldn't believe his ears. the news hit him harshly, making him feel his heart slightly crack in pain at the great loss of his friend's brother. the boy had always admired the boy, he had always considered him a perfect role model for him and everyone who knew him. seeing how much the elder cared for him and minho, how hard he tried every time to make his brother smile whenever he felt sad and upset, how comforting and warm his hugs felt. hyunjin dreamed of becoming like him one day and now that he knew that his hero wasn't here anymore he felt his heart crashing.

however, minho's brother's death wasn't the only thing that caused hyunjin's vital organ to break. what caused the most pain in his chest was that his friend once again was putting the blame on himself.

minho would always do that from a young age, he would always blame himself for everything that happened, especially when it had to do with his family, and hyunjin had always hated that extremely bad and hurtful habit of his.

of course he knew that his older friend definitely had nothing to do with his brother's death. it was probably just him being too dazed and full of guilt to face the truth that made him believe that somehow he was the one responsible for what happened. hyunjin was so used to that awful habit of minho.